If only I knew back then what would happen, I would have never let you go. I would have taken your hand and drag you away from this world. From this reality. I do not mind being a refugee if it meant having you by my side for eternity.
But now, all I can do is regret it. Now it was all too late.
I stared at the empty bunk bed above me, Maia's brother Maki had long been awake and had started his training for about two hours now. As for me, I have been awake for almost three hours now. My mind wandering into the memories that had only started to resurface after the arena incident. I groaned loudly as I push myself to sit up on the bed, there was still that annoying pounding in my head but it still won't compare to the heaviness that my chest was feeling.
I hoisted myself up and entered the bathroom that was just inside of our room. I stared at the man looking right back at me in the mirror. Round dark bags, an overgrown mustache and beard, and an unkempt curly hair, overall I looked like shit. I had given up on the prim and proper appearance that I had since entering middle school.
"You really shouldn't let your hair grow you know, you look like a caveman that way hahaha, a handsome caveman"
As your laugh ring through my ear, my eyes begin to sting again. I roughly washed my face by the sink and let the water wash away the impending tears.
What good would that appearance do when you weren't by my side anymore.
I tried to fix myself but resigned when I can no longer do so. I tied my hair back in a man bun before proceeding with brushing my teeth. I threw in the khaki pants and mandatory white shirt that they want us to wear.
If you were here I bet you would laugh at this uniform. You always hated wearing one saying that you want to wear unique clothes all the time. I let out a deep sigh. How long has it had been since I last saw you? A year and a half I suppose.
It was only a year and a half but it felt like an eternity to me. Knowing that I had lost you right in front of my eyes was the worst.
Just as I went out of our room, I caught a glimpse of the two figures who had helped me this past year. I nodded at their way when they turn to wave at me. It may not look like much but Iavan and Miisa surely helped me in coping up in this new environment. Well, coping up might not be the right word but they are memoirs of you. One of the few mementos I'd kept by my side to always remember you.
Iavan and Miisa walked ahead of me and headed straight down the common pantry area. I followed suit but not after staring at the large mural by the staircase. The mural showcased the people who risked their lives for the mission of freeing the nation. I stared at it and like any other day since that day I only stared at your face painted on the drywalls.
I had missed you so much that just seeing or remembering you hurt my entire being. I wanted to forget about the pain but I know it would only go away if I forget about you, and that's the one thing I don't want to go through again. I don't want to go through the process of our memories being stuck in my subconscious once more.
So what did happen after you blew up the barrier?
Well, to say the least, all hell broke loose. I didn't have the chance to swim after you due to the explosion of the barrier. Some members of the mutiny who were on the other side of the barrier rushed in to save the kids who survived during the games. Provinces started rising against their perpetrators and breaking the laws. One by one the small revolutionary groups come together to overthrow the government that we had sworn to defeat. That was the start that everyone was waiting for.
And you were the one who did it. I just wished you were here to see how people rise to their captivators. How people honor your death. How I mourn for the love that I will never have anymore.
Iavan, Miisa, and I were the first ones to be saved from the arena, not later that day we arrived on this underground base where we received the best treatment we can get, but the three of us can't even utter a single sound nor cry. A week or two passed before we decided that we can't let your sacrifice go to waste. So, we did what we can.
Currently, the mutiny is divided into four factions which consist of different chapters. The first one which contains all the all-rounder personnel is divided into Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Epsilon, and Zeta chapters.
The technical support teams' second faction is the Eta, Theta, Iota, Kappa, Lambda, and Mu chapters.
The third one being the Intell, Recon, and Logistics faction are the Nu, Xi, Omicron, Pi, Rho, and Sigma chapters.
And the last faction which specializes in the medical field including the psychological department for restoring the memories is divided into Tau, Upsilon, Phi, Chi, Psi, and Omega chapters.
Iavan and Miisa are both in the Omega chapter while Maki and I are part of the Beta chapter, which will act as the front line in the upcoming raid.
To tell the truth, ever since your death, I wanted to kill myself too to finally be in peace with you, but then I realize. I won't let your death be in vain, I will see to it that the first raid will be successful.
I will see this revolution until the end.