Chirp Chirp Chirp~
I could hear the birds outside sing as I felt a light brush of wind come in, perhaps through the slightly open window of what used to be just a normal guest room. A normal addition to any noble household. Of course, I was awake, but didn't feel like opening my eyes just yet.
At the moment, I'm having a really hard time differentiating dreams from reality.
An image of a ginormous black dragon with huge obsidian eyes that stares deep into your soul flooded in and out of my mind; over and over again like some sort of other worldly whirlpool. I feel like throwing up every time I try to remember every single detail of my dream. But even though I don't remember most of the events, the different emotions I felt during those moments were so clear I could still feel it in my bones.
It's been a few days, five to be exact, since the viscount-- though he'd like me to call him father again...whatever that means-- declared that I'm his adopted daughter, I honestly still have no idea why a person like him would do such a thing. A lot of stuff's been happening recently, stuff that I believe would confuse just about anyone if they were in my situation.
And it just seems to be getting worse and worse.
"Erasmus" I whispered without much thought, softly.
I don't remember how, but that name seems to be of importance to me all of the sudden. Like a distant memory had suddenly been unlocked, it feels so oddly satisfying to utter that name. I could even remember whispering that name in my dream. I don't know why but it felt like I was falling into a void— and that name— was the only thing that could wake me up.
"Eras who?" a calm familiar voice answered back.
The second I heard it, my eyes jolted wide open.
With a gentle smile, I was greeted with the sight of Addie's soft grey eyes glistening perfectly with the ray of sunlight coming from the huge window behind her.
I gave a soft smile, "Good Morning Addie."
"Dreamt about something interesting again, my lady?" she asked, making small talk as she helped me out of the huge pink queen size bed I laid in.
I didn't response.
Instead, I got out of bed and followed her to the bathroom where she'd been helping me get ready for the past few days now. The atmosphere grew thicker and thicker as I remained silent all through the end which is usually her tying my hair in a simple braided bun that matched my outfit before heading downstair to eat breakfast with the rest of the family.
The first time I ever sat with them to eat, they made me sit between the eldest son Calder and the second son Cornelius, or should I say-- between big brother Caldi and big brother Corry.
"Can't you call them big brother Caldi and Corry again, my lovely?"
I remember my "father" ask me, such a pitiful look on his face-- he was always good at that-- whilst eating breakfast with them for the first time. The atmosphere in itself was already unsettling, but after that seemingly sincere request from the lord, I strongly felt Carolina's eyes shooting daggers at me.
She sat next to her mother, lady Cordelia, with her brows lowered and closer together, lips curled and pointed downwards. But I guess , the most 'Carolina' of her expression was how her nostrils flared outward so bad that I literally thought it was going to explode.
It's only been a few days since I've started dining with them, yet every single time I go downstairs and greet them, it feels as if it's their first time eating with me. It's not something that I mind though. The idea that a family of Medeis like them would get used to being around a Malem like me? Eating the same food as them and wearing the same type of clothes they wear?
I find it incredibly hilarious actually.
"They're waiting for you downstair, my lady." Addie called out.
I snapped, spaced out again as it seems.
I could see from the reflection of the mirror in front of me that she looked at me with a rather concerned look, the same concerned look she'd always given me since I could remember, eyes wide with her brows pulled up and together. But instead of reaching out to me like she would before, Addie just stood still; by the door, waiting for me to make my move.
"Addie." I called out with a stern voice.
From the young woman's expression, it seems I have successfully caught her attention, which was my intention to begin with. She switched into the 'normal Addie' almost instantly, walking towards me as she offered her arms as comfort, such a sight annoyed me even more.
"Stop right there." that was the first time I ever did, and said, such a thing before.
Addie swallowed hard as she started to sweat, "I-Is there something wrong, my la--"
"If I ask nicely, d'you think father will let me change my maid?"
I stared. She stared. We stared at each other for a while, not blinking even once.
Of course, Addie was stunned by my question.
Although isn't it more of a request than a question needing to be answered?
"But I'm..." her lips twitch downwards. "Whatever do you mea--"
I stood up from my seat, my chair hitting the floor with a loud thump. Each step I took as I walked slowly towards her made every single nerve in my body tremble, but I wasn't nervous. It was my body's way of getting ready for the words I uttered next.
"I don't want you as my maid anymore."
*-*-*-*-*-*
I woke up from the weirdest and most painful dream I've ever had, gasping for air as I held on the sheets of the bed I laid in for dear life. I could not help but look frantically look around the room to try and figure out if I was still dreaming or not.
"GAAHH.....Ha...ha...." tears steamed down may face as I let out a whimper.
Still trying to make sense of my surroundings, I took a few deep breaths. In and out, the sensation of cold air flowing into my lungs and out of my nostrils was enough to calm myself down and be able to lie back down again.
"What in the world...??" I mouthed silently, clenching my chest as I stared at the beautifully decorated ceiling, my mind still a blur.
I tried my best, but I couldn't help but tear up.
Looking back on all the hardships I've been through, even I pity myself so much. The few minutes I thought I was in evermore actually made me happy. It made me feel relaxed that everything's finally over. In this power-driven and unjust world where only the wittiest and skilled survive; I best not be placed anywhere at all.
Such a waste of life mine is.
"...is what you think."
My eyes widened as I jolted up from the bed, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as an image of a tall dark shadow of a man sprung up from the bottom of my bed.
"Who--!?" I tried shouting, but was immediately cut of by his eyes.
I recognize those eyes— oh I recognize them alright, those dark obsidian eyes that stared directly into my soul.
"It's y-you..." my voice couldn't help but shake.
It's the dragon from my....dream?
The man stared down at me, raising an eyebrow as he crossed his arms.
"I could say the same for you..." he replied with the blankest expression I'd ever seen.
Again, just like last time, he seems to be mistaking me for someone else. Rather than being intimidated, which I should've been, I was annoyed. I looked at him dead in the eyes as my brows furrowed, meeting in the centre.
"I'm..." hesitating I uttered, "I'm not the person you think I am."
The man sighed, defeated, and looked as me as if he already knew I was going to say that.
"Yeah, you're right." he replied.
I opened my mouth slightly, as if to say something, but nothing came out. He continued to stare, I too did the same. It was like that for about a minute or so, yet I never felt uncomfortable. He was searching for something, perhaps someone, in my eyes.
I guess, I also wanted to know deep down if I'm really that person he was looking for.
"You're..." he uttered almost in a low whisper, "...not her."
Honestly, I didn't know what I was expecting from his sudden silence before those words. I, myself, knew that I'm not that person he so desperately wants me to be. Even then, I can't help but feel this sort of guilt, turning away from him feeling a hint of disappointment.
How strange...why in the world am I disappointed?
"What's with that face?" he teased,
Smirking as he continued to say "What? Feel bad for being a parvotem?"
"A...what?" I asked, lifting a brow at him.
He gave me a surprised look, even blinking as he blankly stared a few times, only to let out a laugh not even a minute later.
"HAHAHA! Oh jeez..." snorting he continued,
Wiping a single tear from the side of his eye, he looked at me with heavy eyes as he smiled a melancholic smile.
"You're really not her," I could feel the pain in his voice, "Are you?"
I didn't answer, how could I?
Without even realizing it, my face softened, distracted by the way he smiled that I couldn't form any proper words. His eyes crinkled at the edges and the corners of his lips turned upwards. I've never seen a smile like this before; a smile so real, so true.
As I was starting get lost in my own thoughts like always, I felt a finger suddenly poke my forehead.
"Hey!" I shouted, annoyed.
To which the young man replied with a low "Shush....", his other hand covering my mouth.
He looked back at the door, my eyes following the direction of his eyes as it landed on the few shadows moving by the door along with some soft whispers.
Retrieving the hand hand he used to cover my mouth, he looked back at me with a questioning look and a single brow lifted up.
"That's probably Addie, " I said with ease, failing to notice the sudden change from the young man's expressionless face.
"What...did you say?" uttering his words rather slowly this time, only then was I able to recognize the look of complete shock from his face.
"I-I..." my voice trembled seeing his reaction.
"I said I-It's probably just Addie checking up on me..."
He clearly wasn't happy with my answer.
"How..." clenching his fist into a ball, eyes burning like hot coal.
"How in the world is that thing still alive?"
I froze in an instant, pondering whether or not I should've mentioned Addie at all.
Does he know Addie?
But how?
Before I could even utter a word, let alone— a sound, the young man quickly stood up and looked down on me with such a livid expression.
"Hah." he laughed, eyes flickered with barely suppressed fury.
"Of course you'd pick her over me."
My body could not help but tremble from his eyes that served as a window into the tumultuous emotions that roiled within him, reflecting the unbridled rage that obviously threatened to consume him.
"I-I..." was all I could let out.
I felt small and helpless in front of him, and I wanted to run away. But I was rooted to the edge of the bed, too scared to move. My hands were trembling at my sides, and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't know what he was going to do, and I was terrified.
"You're lying, aren't you?" he said, stepping closer to me.
"You remember me, and you're just pretending not to."
"I'm sorry," I said, my voice back but still trembling. "I really wish I could remember you."
He stared at me for a few seconds before leaning towards me as he whispered the words,
"Liar." his voice laced with anger.
"I swear, I'm not lying!" I said, starting to feel annoyed.
"Why do you keep forcing me to admit something that isn't even true!?"
His eyes widened in shock and disbelief as he struggled to process what I just said, even I was taken aback. I felt my chest weirdly tighten as soon as the words left my mouth. The young man's expression made it worse, I can see the hurt and disappointment in his eyes.
My mind races as I try to come up with a way to take back what I just said, but even I knew there was nothing.He stood still for what seems like eternity, glaring at me for a moment before finally deciding to turn and walk a few inches away from me.
"Oh really?" he uttered all of the sudden, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he looked me dead straight into my eyes.
"If you're such a honest saint then how come you're hiding your true form from everyone around you?"
Taken aback by what he just said, "What?" I could not help but ask.
He didn't answer me; in fact, I think he wasn't expecting such a stern reaction from me.
"You..." his voice softened, "...really have no clue?"
I furrowed my brow in confusion, trying to process the words that the young man was saying. His words does not make any sense at all and I could feel the confusion growing inside me with each passing moment.
"I don't understand," I said finally, feeling the frustration building inside me.
"What are you trying to say?"
He looked at me with a mixture of surprise and disappointment for a good minute before sighing heavily, as if admitting defeat and just letting the situation be.
"Never mind," he said, turning away from me once more and walking away.
"It doesn't matter." he continued to say.
"W-Wait!" I shouted, trying to stop the man from getting farther and farther away.
I couldn't shake off the feeling that the young man in front of me was hiding something important, and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of all the lies, sick of the unknown. How come everyone around me know what's going on in my life except for me? I'm the one living it. I'm the one who suffered all this time, so why don't I know anything?
"What are you keeping from me?" I asked, trying to hide the desperation in my voice.
He paused for a second, before looking back at me with a pained expression. At that moment, I knew I was on to something.
"It's complicated," he said, avoiding my gaze.
"I think there's a reason why you don't know and I don't think i'm the right person--"
"Complicated how?" I pressed, not willing to let him off the hook so easily.
He sighed heavily. "I highly doubt that now's the right time for you to know."
"Argh! Just tell me!" I snapped.
I couldn't take it anymore.
My frustration and anger had reached its limit.
"Why won't you tell me what's going on?" I yelled in frustration.
"Why does everyone keep hiding things from me?! I'm so sick of it! Ever since I woke up after being beaten by that cruel Viscount everyone's been acting so strange! So many questions keep being unanswered;
What happened after that day?
Why do they keep calling me their daughter?
Why are they so nice to me all of the sudden?
And now this?!
NO! ENOUGH!
I should've been dead for crying out loud! I should've been castrated that day!
So why....why...why....WHY AM I STILL HERE?!"
The young man took a step closer, his hands covering his face.
"You need to calm down," he said, "or else things could end up badly for you!"
He looked at me with a very worried expression.
I was confused for a second before I realized that a strong gush of dark cloudy mist was surrounding us like a tornado. It was so strong that all the furniture in the room was being swept away one by one and circled around us with such a terrifying speed.
"I can't calm down," she shouted back. "Not until I find out the truth!"
I look around frantically, trying to make sense of what's happening. But the more I look, the more I realize that it's not something external that's causing this chaos and it just confuses me even more.
"I understand that," he said, reaching out his hand to me with such soft eyes as he fought the strong wind with his body.
"but you need to trust me... I'm trying to help you!"
Though my blood was still boiling, I felt my heart sank at the idea that someone other than Addie was actually willing to reach their hand out to help me.
"Please!" he begged. "It's to keep you safe..."
His words made me feel all emotions I tried so hard suppressing after waking up to this whole different world I now find myself in.
"I..." I said, slowly reaching my hand out as well.
"I trust you."
The moment our hands collided, I stumbled backwards. My body feeling drained and weak, but I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. It was like I had finally found an outlet for all the emotions that had been building up inside me.
"Phew...." the young man relaxed with another sigh. "Your safe....Thank Sayohn you're safe..."
I can't help but let out a soft smile at his words, but that smile turned weary at an instant as I realized that even though I clearly remember being inside of a small tornado and all the furniture flying around the room, there was no such evidence of that happening.
"What the..." I tried recollecting my thoughts, sitting up from the bed as I walked around the room.
"How...how is everything—"
As I turned around to face the young man, I stumbled backwards, my body suddenly felt drained and weak, but I couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. It was like I had finally found an outlet for all the emotions that had been building up inside me.
Slipping in and out of consciousness, and I can feel my grip on reality loosening. The world around me fades in and out of focus, and I struggle to make sense of what's happening. I try to fight it, try to stay awake and aware of my surroundings, but it's a losing battle. Every time I open my eyes, I feel like I'm slipping further and further away from reality.
"Don't fight it."
Were the last words I heard before darkness claimed me, and I pass out.
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To Be Continued.