It was about 7 in the evening when I decided to take a shower. I had been watching TV all day and was waiting for Harin to come home. She messaged me saying she was going to stay over at Minseok's and she will see me in the morning. It wasn't the first she had slept out but I was kind of hoping I wouldn't be alone tonight.
I sighed as I got undressed and stepped into the shower forgetting to heat it up. The cold water hit across my skin but I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to care.
What would have happened if we had went further? I thought. It has in fact kept bugging me all day. The intensity in his gaze and the effect it had on me. Would I have actually let him be my first? No I shook the thought off scrubbing intensely the area where he had traced his hand.
My skin burned from how hard I was scrubbing and the cold water didn't help. I hissed as I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. I brushed my teeth then exited the bathroom while wrapped in a towel.
I sat on my bed applying lotion to my arms and legs then suddenly the thoughts of earlier resurfaced.
"You like him" said my self consciousness.
"No I don't" I said aloud shaking off my self consciousness and her stupid words.
"You know you do sis. No use in lying" she teased.
"I said I don't like him!" I yelled.
"Fine. Then why can't you get his eyes out of your head? Why can't you find other guys attractive? But hey who am I to say. I am just the voice in your head" she said.
"You're right you are just an allusion so now just shut up and go" I sighed in defeat.
She did in fact left me alone for the rest of the night but my thoughts didn't. Images of him on top of me while I pant in desire kept flashing through my mind. The way he would kiss every inch of me and fill me with pleasure to the max as I moaned his name. I felt horny to the max. I don't think I have ever felt like this. I wanted him and I wanted him now but I couldn't. He probably didn't want me and is probably fucking that bitch right now. Not that I care, and besides I have school tomorrow.
Rolling over I saw my trusty loyal stuffed Monkey George smiling at me and I instantly felt better. He was always there with a smile on his truth be told he couldn't do anything else with his face but that is besides the point.
He has never let me down, I thought as I brought him in for a cuddle. He was my everything but he couldn't bring sexual satisfaction Ughhhhh.
I still felt horny and it didn't seem as if it was subsiding any time soon. I decided to read a book that is said to guarantee a hot steamy romance. I started reading and had became so engrossed. The book worked in distracting me for a while but my body wanted one man and one man alone.
Shiwoo.
I contemplated calling him but I didn't even have his number. Probably for the best I thought as my stomach grumbled.
With all this thought of being railed I had totally forgotten to feed my poor stomach.
"Hmmm what to eat?" I thought as I opened the fridge pretending as if I wasn't going to eat cereal any way.
Truth be told I could made something better from scratch for I was a great cook but who would do the dishes? Harin wasn't here and it ain't gonna be me I thought as I poured the milk into my favorite bowl.
As a treat to myself I poured two different cereals into the bowl. I was feasting like a king tonight I thought. I decided to sit on the couch again and have my five star dinner. I twirled the cereal in the milk as I skipped through the channels to find something good to watch.
It seemed like only they only broadcast K-dramas at this time of the night I thought as I sighed. I kept skipping until I found what seemed to look like a Lawyer TV show. Although it was also another K-drama it seemed interesting and distracted me for a while.
The female lead was a bad ass heroine who would stand up to the misogynistic men and no matter how hard they tried to bring her down she would always prevail.
She was famously known for her debating skills and problem solving abilities. She was a really good lawyer. Although she was just a character from a movie she inspired me to be the best lawyer I could be. With that in my mind I decided to forget about Shiwoo and focus on my career.
I don't know why I was so hung up on him anyway. He was just another boy and I have dealt with many in the past. From this moment on I will no longer give him the privilege of occupying my mind for I sure as hell isn't occupying his.
If he cared about me he wouldn't have left despite me telling him too. We only knew each other's first name so there is no way we could possibly actually like each other. An attraction was undoubtedly there but it was just that and nothing more.
He was a guy and I was a girl. It was bound to happen.
I turned the TV off and washed my bowl. Shit. I already brushed my teeth, I thought. I dragged myself to the bathroom and rinsed out my mouth. I was getting sleepier by the second which was good. I laid in bed and the movie kept replaying but instead of me seeing the face of the lead actress I saw my own.
I quickly fell asleep with a smile on my face dreaming of the future when I would accomplish everything that I have ever dreamed of. Attorney Atalia Carter. Hmm its got a nice ring to it.