I wonder what will be the last act if the dead were given a second chance. Would it be revenge, would it be am sorry, would it be "I love you" to the one's they never said them to, or would it simply be goodbye? I've always wanted to say something nice on my death bed, something rememberable. Most people like myself claim to not fear death but the fear of death is one of the things that inspire most to say something inspiring at the end, the soul wants to be preserved even in the memories of others. The fear of death is what drives the living to seek peace, and if that is possible it compels us to seek security and protection, and if safe we want to succeed and that drives us to seek wealth and with wealth comes power, and with power comes certainty and hope for something better to come, hope is that feeling that assures us death is far. We surround ourselves with these feelings simply because we all fear death, for make no mistake, death will come when it will come, the only thing within our power to do is to accept it.
Sitting with this man who has no idea today is his last makes me think life is unfair, but again no one would be dead if they saw it coming. The peace in his eyes, the confidence in his voice, the feeling of safety that emits from his aura. Our body is totally ignorant of what is around us even up close.
We all sat at a round table close to the bar and continued our discussion. So you being here what are your plans, I mean if you plan to invest in one of my companies?
That's the idea sir but I came here mostly to know what am about to invest in, no offence sir.
None taken, but if you really want to know I hope you are aware this is not the place?
On the contrary, I think it is.
Oh, tell me something I don't know.
I believe most people here are investors right?
Most of them yes answered Mary.
If the business is bad most of them will not be here, and the rest of them who were able to come would not be putting on a smiling face. Everyone here wants to get richer as it is expected from the rich, no businessman would make one mistake twice.
That's one fine way to look at things, are you sure you are just an I architect?
I for one do not see myself to be just one thing because then my life would be too straight and predictable, I like intricacies. I sipped the wine in my right hand each time I spoke.
Alright, I believe we've talked about business enough for one night he said.
If you say so sir, there are rumours you once lived in this part of town, and I was wondering if it's true?
It's no rumour at all, I would like to talk to this young man privately my dare if you don't mind?
Sure dad, I've barely said a single word since, I'll leave you two gentlemen to speak. She got up and left.
All I could do is wonder what he wanted to talk about, could it be I've said something wrong, it often safe if executioners like myself don't ask personal questions, it gets things complicated and dangerous for myself, on the other hand, he looked relaxed like he was carrying something for so long and it was time to drop it in a safe place. He looked over his shoulder to assure himself no one was listening to our conversation, his guard was close by but out of hearing range.
I made most of my mistakes in life in this very town. Have you ever done something and you which to forget and just close that chapter of your life? I have, he continued, and for a time my brain tried to erase that memory but it just won't go away. It comes to me in dreams instead of memories and when I try to think about it my brain shows me only the lie I've been telling myself. Over the years I've told myself too many lies and now I no longer know the truth and I've started to believe my own lies. I don't know if you get me?
I think am going crazy for I don't know what to believe anymore, should I believe my dreams which is now constant or should I believe the memory I fantasize over the years?
Am no expert in these kinds of things but I believe something or someone must have triggered these memories.
The town itself is the problem.
In all your memories of this town, it can't be all bad?
Not at all, in a matter of fact, I had the best time of my life in these parts, I had the things I never thought I could have in life, but life also has its way of taking things in the end.
If you had everything why leave? I asked.
Like I said life took it. It was never meant to be or that was what I told myself to free myself from guilt at the time. Now things would have been so different, if only I can change the past I would have done things a lot more different.
"If only", that was what my mom always says before she passed.
That's a word for regrets, toast to regrets and memories, he raised his glass as did I. I believe you know most of the leaders here sir?
All of them I like to think, do you have business with any of them?
Not directly but there have been a few arguments that lead to the exchange of blows between a representative of mine.
These are extremely dangerous men, Mr John, I highly recommend you leave whatever business you have with them. Remember I told you I made some of my biggest mistakes in these parts. Most of those mistakes involve some of these men, although things back then were not like this and they had no power at the time, now things are different. These men a capable of killing, they have enough power to walk away, stay away from them if you still want your head on your neck.
During our conversation have come to see myself in this man, he too has his own demons, and it appears he's was bigger, judging from the way he was talking. He's a man with experience and he knows how to put words without giving any vital information. He must have known his past has cut up to him and that must be the reason the security was so tight and also why his memories have been popping up. His willingness to warn someone he barely knows is an indication that he has accepted his fate whatever it might be. The drink in his hands just finished and soon he will be ordering another one, I quickly drank the one in my hand and raised a signal to Tage for another one.
Doubt is the only thing I feel since the conversation with the target began but again I looked at my surroundings and found the big boss looking at me, and he was not the only one from the organization present at the party. They were top rank executioners also looking at me pretending to be discussing with people. Some of them I know while the others I just fill it in my bones, if I do anything other than what was expected from me then I would already be a dead man. It's funny how time pass so slowly when pressured, Tage was on his way to our table but it felt like he was in slow motion and he was the agent of death. I was told the poison was painless and most of the time the victims don't know what was happening to them till it was too late. This poison is slow to kill but lethal and unstoppable. He handed me one drink and gave the last one to the target. He took a sip from the win and looked at me for some time and said. You must be the same age as my fifth son, too bad I never knew him.
What do you mean sir? Some days ago I was told I had a son here and for some reason, I never knew him.
So you never knew?
Now that I think about it, I think I was told but I let myself believe it was not mine and that was one of the lies my brain has lead me to believe. Do you have plans of looking for him? Yes, I believe I owe him a lot of explanation.
Good luck with your search then. If he is your fifth, then where does that leave your supposed fifth son? I don't know, all I know is he will never accept another brother. You are aware this son of yours may not be what you taught he would be? At this point in my life, I expect anything, nothing surprises me.
If only you know was all I could say in my mind.