Son Dongmyeong's P.O.V.
"I'm sorry if you don't want to see me. I just... I needed to see you, I.. want to talk to you... If you really don't want me here then I'll sit.. over there... until they get back. I was... I just... I missed you. I don't know what I've done wrong because you won't.... you won't even look at me.. You won't speak to me... I.. What did I do, Jimin? What.. why did you leave? You... didn't even say goodbye. You didn't let me say goodbye... I was going to... I wanted to tell you... when I got back, I... before I found out you left me... I -"
I couldn't speak, forming the words I'd so long wanted to say to the man I'd loved since I got to know him, they wouldn't come. I really hoped I wouldn't be nervous about speaking to Jimin but with him yelling he didn't want to be left with me, I felt my chest constrict like a python wrapping around my torso and squeezing; expelling the air from my lungs, the blood from my heart, the strength from my body. After the meeting with Dr. Wang and Nurse Min yesterday I'd hoped to be able to sit with Jimin and have an actual conversation with him about life, how he'd been and what led him back here, where he'd been.
I hadn't expected that he would yell at the nurse to not leave him in here with me.
I... Maybe I was wrong.
I stared at the checkered lino floor and willed the tears burning my eyes to go away, to not overflow and fall to the floor like they were doing. I hate feeling so vulnerable and useless. If he wants me to leave so badly I'll just sit in the corner or something until they get back - in four hours. That's what we'd agreed on. But I didn't think Jimin hated me; he barely looks at me, won't speak to me, and with the outburst a minute ago he's made it clear he didn't ever feel the same way and doesn't want to be anywhere near me.
My heart shattered.
" 'm sorry. I'll just... over here. I-I didn't... I didn't want you to b-be uncomfortable. 'm sorry," I mumbled, not looking at him and trying to not let him hear the sobs which were trying to escape. Instead of the seat I climbed onto Jeongguk's bed and curled up into myself, burying my face into the soft purple blanket that Kook had on his bed and battled the flood of tears trying to escape the crack in my heart through my eyes. I lost the battle as hot tears filled and overflowed my eyes, my breath catching and the sobs escaping.
I was wrong. He didn't care about me - not like I cared about him.
That man broke my heart. I broke my heart.
I fucked up.
I fell in love with Park Jimin.
*******
3rd Person's P.O.V.
Jimin's eyes welled with tears as he watched Dongmyeong climb onto Jeongguk's bed and lay there, his back facing the blond and his shoulders started shaking. Jimin couldn't understand what was wrong with the other male in the room and it wasn't until he heard the muffled sobs that he had an unbearable feeling, a knowing, that Dongmyeong was crying. 'But why is he crying?'
Jimin cleared his throat.
"Dongmyeong? Uh, are you crying?" the blond asked tentatively.
"No." His answer was short, pointed.
"But, you are. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm not." Short answers, he didn't want Jimin to know he was crying because he was an idiot for thinking the other liked him before he left. Or that he'd never stopped looking for the younger, or that he was an idiot for being in love with him.
"You are. 'Myeo-"
"Don't." Dongmyeong interrupted. "Don't call me that."
Jimin was confused. Why couldn't he call him Myeong? Why wouldn't his hyung tell him what was wrong?
"Maybe if you tell me I can help? I mean, it's not like I'm doing anything else until Kookie gets back anyways." The blond offered innocently.
"Second choice. As always. Just... le-leave me a-alone, Park. Obviously you w-want nothing to d-do w-wi-with me, so ju-just d-don't. Le-leave me be." Dongmyeong stuttered, cursing that his speech impediment came back when he was overly emotional (or crying). He hated it. Very few people knew about it. And now Jimin did too. He would have known about it earlier if the younger had cared enough to have stuck around, back then.
" 'Mye- Dongmyeong. What's wrong? Something is because you didn't used to stutter. Talk to me. We were friends, right?"
Dongmyeong snorted. "Yeah. W-were. Then you f-found something, no - someone - better, ob-obviously better th-than me! So j-just fuck off and le-eave me be!" He cried out, upset that after Jimin practically said he didn't want to be around Dongmyeong, he then wouldn't stop bugging him and asking what's wrong.
"What do you mean?" Jimin was very confused, not linking his friend's behaviour to his own disappearance two years ago, or that he'd ghosted them six months after that.
"An-and you ju-just a-ab-abandoned me. You l-left me al-alone. You s-said you w-wo-wouldn't le-leave me an-and you did!"
Dongmyeong cried now, the sobs finally breaking free and loudly escaping his chest. Anyone who hears the crying might think it sounds as if someone's heart is breaking (they would be right). After Jimin heard the spoken words his own heart ached.
He remembered the promises he'd made to his hyung, he'd promised he wouldn't go away without telling him because of his fear of being abandoned that came from when he was younger. He'd broken those promises to Dongmyeong and he felt shitty for it.
"You don't understand - I didn't mean to leave you! You just, you won't understand!" Jimin raised his voice, causing Dongmyeong to roll on his back, his head falling to the side to look at Jimin with red and swollen eyes. "A-and you w-won't e-explain. You w-won't l-look at me o-or talk to me. So fuck you Park." He rolled back on his side facing away from Jimin.
"Please don't be like this," the blond pleaded, "please 'Myeong, I wouldn't've done it if I had a choice, you know me, you know I wouldn't have done anything that hurt you deliberately!"
The elder snorted again. "S-sure Park. Whatever you wan-nna believe."
Jimin couldn't handle not being able to help his friend, someone he held so dear to his heart, but with Dongmyeong's last sentence he had broken the last of the blond's defences. The elder heard noises behind him and figured the blond was just moving around, hopefully not facing him so he could cry in peace. After a short while he heard the distinct sound of wheels moving across the floor - he tensed his body, refusing to look despite an urge to check what the noise was.
Dongmyeong did look when he felt a body get on the bed behind him, an arm wrapping around his waist as if it had always been there. He felt a leg tangle around his as well but didn't untense.
"D-don't. J-just go back to your bed Park."
"No."
"Get off me."
"I won't."
"GO!"
"I won't."
"Why? Why w-won't you just le-leave me?"
"No. You won't listen."
"You w-won't talk!"
"I will. I will talk, if you really want to hear."
"..."
"Will you listen?"
"Will you talk?"
"Y-yeah."
"...."
Jimin blew out a breath he was holding. He supposed now was as good as any time to explain at least some things to Dongmyeong about why he left the way he did. The blond supposed it was well past time for him to explain his actions to the person he left behind.
"I... Even Kookie doesn't know most of this. I told him some, but he doesn't know everything. You'll be the first person I tell. Just- don't interrupt? Please?"
"Mhmm. Talk." Jimin assumed he probably deserved worse than that for abandoning his friends, his Dongmyeong.
Jimin held on to the older male like he was a buoy on a sinking ship. Then he began talking about the last two years, right from when he met the girl to when he walked out and left everything behind (except the meagre belongings in his school bag).
It was odd, that everything that happened over the span of two and a half years was able to be condensed into a five hour conversation.