Day 14.
It had been two weeks since Kathryn Ice Rewis had come to live with him, and Yuri had recently found himself starting each day with a mental diary. From day one, however, the main entry had been the same.
Still torture.
It was the simplest way to describe the agony of lying beside Kathy, who at first tormented him with her indifference. Fast forward a week, and she still tormented him, this time with the knowledge that his fiancée was his for the taking.
But for some reason, he just couldn't make himself touch her. Even knowing that she now wanted him as much as he wanted her, he couldn't make himself cross that line.
If he took her virginity, that was it. There would be no turning back, whether or not she deserved someone like him.
As if sensing she was in his thoughts, Kathy suddenly snuggled close, her breasts brushing against his arm. Her nipples puckered, and his dick twitched.
'Yup', Yuri thought resignedly.
Still torture.
Beside him, Kathy asked, " What are you thinking about? "
He allowed himself to smile in the darkness. " You. "
She giggled.
He loved that sound. Her laughter, her giggles, and her gasps, he loved every sound of pleasure she made, and it was terrifying how much that sound had become important to Yuri in such a short time.
Turning on his side so he could move back and place a bit more distance between him and the temptation of her breasts, he asked, " And you? " His voice was gently teasing. " Are you thinking about me? "
" All the time. " she said simply.
'Ah, Kathy'. He wanted to tell her not to say such words so easily, but he didn't. To do so would ask her to stop being different, to start lying and be as normal and deceitful as the rest of them, and that he realized, he didn't want her to do.
The longer he knew her, the more he thought that the world needed more people like Kathy and less of people like him.
" Yuri? " Kathy inched closer towards him, closer and closer until he had no choice but to cradle her head in the nook of his arm and allow her breasts to brush tantalizingly against his chest.
STILL.TORTURE.
" Why do you have a hard time sleeping? "
He didn't answer right away. Finally, he said, " When I sleep, I have a bad dreams, and they make me...unable to breathe. "
Even in the darkness, he could sense her alarm as she pushed herself up, demanding, " But won't you die if you don't sleep? "
He pulled her back down in his arms, murmuring soothingly, " It's not like that. " Not unless someone could die of guilt. " I have medication, but I've stop taking them. "
" Why? " She demanded.
He didn't answer.
She said sadly, " Because of me. "
Yuri froze. 'Damn.' He had again forgotten how exceptionally smart and intuitive she was, " Kathy.. "
She cut her off, saying quietly, " You're afraid one day I might do something, aren't you? "
His chest constricted. 'Yes'. He was goddamn terrified that something bad would happen, something that would tear them apart since his track record with love didn't exactly inspire hope.
But out loud, Yuri said, " No, of course not. " What else was there to say?
Kathy didn't answer.
In one swift move, he switched the bedside light on then rolled Kathy to her back while he loomed over her, his body between her legs and his cock nestled against her pussy. " It's all me, sweetheart. It's all me, " he said fiercely, " and only because I have a hard time letting my guard down. "
She gazed into his eyes, and he stared back at her.
Finally, she whispered, " I know it's hard to believe because I may be crazy. " She shook her head when he started to speak. " But I say this with all my heart. " Kathy took his hand and placed it on her chest. " I will never do anything to cause you pain. " Her voice softened. " Because I love you. "
'Ah Kathy'.
He cupped her face, wanting to kiss her because it was the next best thing after the words he still couldn't make himself say. But before their lips could touch, they both heard it.
Someone was knocking... No... Banging on the door.
God. Damn. It
People in their lives had the worst timing in the world.
There was another hard bang, and then Kellion was yelling, " Wake up, lovebirds. It's time to hit the beach. "
Yuri was jealous, and he didn't like it one goddamn bit.
Volunteer's Day, a special holiday. Hallie had recently come up with, was fast becoming Yuri's most despised holiday. If Volunteers Day would always have something to do with the beach, where his fianceé had to be on fucking display amongst hundreds of leering wolves, then he wanted no part of it next year or any other year.
No matter where they went, the stares followed, and Yuri had lost count of the number of times he had to restrain himself from throwing a punch at a guy who had stared at his woman one second too long.
In Kathy's defense, she was more covered than most other girls on the beach. She had the most deliciously feminine swimsuit, which was more like a dress, with its red tank styled top and blue white dotted skirt.
Unfortunately, the fact that she showed less skin than most was also why the men couldn't stop staring. The promise of cleavage swelling over the swimsuit's modest neckline made them salivate, and the big black ribbon at the back of her swimsuit was just begging to be untied.
Yuri took a deep breath and cracked his knuckles repeatedly.
Just another hour or so, he told himself, and they could finally leave this goddamn place and go back to the hotel.
Besides, it was a lot better now. Earlier, Kathy had asked him if there was a place she could build Sandcastle, and he had swiftly acquiesced by taking her to a private beach, along with Andreus and Hallie. It placed a good number of miles between Kathy and the crowds, but Yuri hadn't been satisfied until his bodyguards were stationed around them, forming another circle of privacy.
If its action made him appear territorial, then so fucking be it.
Kathryn Ice Rewis was his alone.
In Front of Yuri, Kathy was kneeling of the sand, building her sand castle in a furious competition with Andreus Fin Economou. Both had taken a sort of friendly dislike to each other, the way siblings had love-hate relationships, and even now Yuri could hear the two bickering.
" You never cease to confound me, " Kathy was saying as she carefully shaped the outer walls of her sandcastles.
Andreus grunted.
" First, you tell Hallie, the girl you love... "
" For fuck's sake, woman! "
" that she is ugly even she is not. Then when she cries and leaves, you look like you want to go to her but you don't. " Kathy rested back on her haunches and looked at Andreus quizzically. " Do you understand why I am confused? "
" No. " The Alcolyte's reportedly most dangerous member gave Yuri's fianceé a ferocious scowl.
" Now can you please shut up and let me build this damn sandcastles?! "
It had no effect on Kathy, who only shook her head, and murmuring. " Your so confusing. "
Andreus looked like he wanted to kill her. Again.
" If Yuri had not explained to me about you, I would have thought you were a liar. "
" And what, " Andreus interrupted in an ominously soft voice. " did your fianceé explain to you? "
" That he says you speak different language as a half Cyprian... "
" We speak Greek. " Andreus growled.
" and because of this, it somehow makes you end up saying the opposite of what you feel. "
" Do you realize, " he demanded incredulously. " how insane that sounds? "
Kathy blinked. " But your actions are just as insane, " she pointed out reasonably. " You love Hallie, but you push her away... "
" How many times, " Andreus bellowed. " do I have to tell you I don't love Hallie Daena Athanas. "
A gasp.
Andreus head snapped towards the sound, and he cursed under his breath when he saw Hallie, a sick looked on her face. She had heard everything.
Kathy and Andreus watched Hallie walk away.
" You should go to her now, " Kathy decided. " before it's too late. "
" Shut up! " Andreus snapped, but he was already rising to his feet and then he was stalking after Hallie.
Alone, Kathy looked at Yuri over her shoulder.
He walked towards her with a wry smile.
When he reached her, Kathy looked up at him, asking seriously, " Was Andreus love for Hallie supposed to be a secret? "
" Somewhat. "
" I see. " Something flicked in her eyes. " It's strange. Grandmother and I never kept our love for each other a secret. "
He had no words to say, knowing that in a way, she had it right.
Love wasn't supposed to be a secret.
Yuri started to say her name but closed his mouth when he realized she had already move on to other things. More specifically, she had gone back to building her sandcastles, and by the look of concentration in her eyes, it was as if she had forgotten him already.
His gaze moved to her work in progress, and he almost choked in surprised that she had managed to build a drawbridge and courtyard behind the outer walls.
He shook his head in amazement. " You can probably compete with that stuff, " he remarked.
But Kathy didn't looked up, and her hands didn't stop packing, shaping sand, and bringing it to life.
If he had known Kathy a little longer, he would have realized his fianceé was desperately trying to bury her fears. The look of devastations on Hallie's face had terrified her, bringing all her nightmares to the surface.
Nightmares that had nothing to do with Madame Antonia.
Nightmares that had everything to do with Yuri Daniel Athanas.
Nightmares that began and ended with the man she loved no longer loving her.
If Yuri had known Kathy a little longer, he would have known all of this.
But he didn't.
And so, staring down at Kathy, a guilty sense of tension enveloped Yuri as he realized that, in many ways, his fianceé was more child than woman.
A question sliced into his mind.
Was it truly right that he keep her with him, knowing it was only a matter of time before his control broke and he'd be fucking her and marking her as his for eternity?
Would it be better, if he took a step back now, before he could hurt her more?
It started as something cold and dark in the pit of her stomach, and then it rose up, so fast it took Kathy's breath away and she found herself gasping silently,
Something was wrong, the cold, terrifying darkness gleefully boasted to her.
Something was wrong.
Kathy didn't know what, how it happened, or why.
All she knew was that something was wrong.
The sand crumbled past her fingers. Her head shot up. Her gaze sought him.
She caught a fleeting glimpse of Yuri's face.
" Noooooooo !!!! "
Her lips parted in a moan of pain at what she saw.
" Yuri. "
Her heart called out to him, but his heart didn't hear her,
" Yuri! "
But he had started walking away.
" YURI! "
But he never looked up, and somehow Kathy found the strenght to make her voice work despite the cold, terrifying darkness that tried clawing her into silence.
" YURI! "
She screamed, gasped, and sobbed his name, not realizing that a powerful wave had crashed against the shores at the same time, drowning her voice.
All she knew was that she had called for Yuri, and he had not turned back.
Darkness had won.
She squeezed her eyes shut.
And then she began rocking herself.
It. Was. Not. Going. To. Break.
It was not!
As the foamy waters receded from the shores, tamed by the cycle of nature, that was when Yuri thought he heard something, and his steps halted. He listened, and a second later he heard it again.
Spinning around, he saw that he had not imagined it at all. His guards seemed to have heard it, too, all of them converging towards Kathy.
She was rocking herself, her lips moving feverishly as if she was whispering to herself. Her eyes were squeezed shut, but her face was contorted in pain as if even behind her eyelids she was still haunted.
Tears ran down her face, and sight destroyed his already broken heart.
Yuri ran fast as he could to get back to her. " Kathy! " He wanted her to know he was coming to her. " Kathy! " But she didn't look up, and her lips didn't stop moving.
Reaching her, he fell to his knees and asked in a fear-scratched voice. " What's wrong, sweetheart? "
But she continued to rock herself, and Yuri began to read her lips.
It. Was. Not. Going. To. Break.
Again and again, she said the words to herself.
It. Was. Not. Going. To. Break.
He remembered reading those words from the files Kristina Rewis sent him.
It. Was. Not. Going. To. Break.
Her pain was silent, endless, and raw, and regret tore into him.
He knew. He just knew he was the cause of Kathy's mind hurtling back into the past.
" I'm sorry. " He hauled her into his arms. " Oh God, Kathy, I'm sorry. " He muttered the words over and over, willing Kathy to come back and hear him.
" Sir, do you want us to call 911? " One of his bodyguards asked worriedly.
He shook his head, knowing that an emergency call would only make the situation worse.
" Kathy, please. " He kissed her hair, and it was as if the touch of his lips brought her to life.
A great shudder racked her body, and then she was looking up at him, violet eyes filled with so much agony his chest almost caved in at the sight of it.
" God. " He whitened at the way her body continued to tremble violently in his arms. " Kathy, I'm sorry. "
She was crying harder and mumbling incoherently now, and his fears worsened. " Tell me what's wrong. " Yuri begged. " How can I help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. " His own hands shaking, he framed her face and made her look up. " Tell me. "
More tears fell down her beautiful face as she whispered brokenly. " I saw you. "
Yuri froze.
" You looked at me like you didn't see me. "
Oh God, no...
" T-then y-you looked at me like you wanted to leave me. "
" Oh God, Kathy. " His face turned ashen at what she was saying, at what she had seen.
" And I started to calling your name, " she said brokenly. " but you wouldn't look back. I screamed your name and you k-keep walking away. "
Unable to bear any more of her pain, he kissed her, using his lips to let her know that he was not going away, and his heart cracked at how desperately Kathy kissed him back.
How easily, how guilelessly she had let him and the whole world know how vulnerable she was. She hadn't cared about who could hear her, hadn't cared about what people would think or even what Yuri would do, knowing he had that much power over her.
In his arms, Kathy's body continued to tremble, and he tightened his arms around her. " I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm so damn sorry. "
" I thought I was going to break," she whispered.
He kissed her hard. " Never. " He rained kisses all over her face, and he knew then. It really was too late. " I'll never leave you. I'll never let you break. " He swallowed. " I love you, remember? "