Leaning forward over his knees, head slightly lowered, with his hands clasped together as he sat down on the sofa opposite to his mother, it was time to have the life-changing talk. The talk that would lead to the first steps on this new journey he was to embrace fully. His mother who was soft and caring towards him moments ago had flipped her switch and began looking at him deeply as if she were looking into his soul.
"So… You said you left the uni dorms, and now you're considering leaving university altogether? Why? What's gotten into you? Didn't you say you were going to complete the course no matter what? You've already completed 2 years and there's one left. Once you've got that last year over and done with, you're done completely. You have a degree, and you can find a good job after that! Why are you leaving it all behind?"
Although her tone was stern and her eyes were scolding him, it all came from a good place. Being a single mother to two kids, she found it very hard to earn a good wage to provide for her family without a degree. With that being the case, she didn't want the same story to be told in Jack's life. Even after all this had been said, Jack couldn't lift his head to look at her. He felt a strong sense of shame for putting her through all of this, still feeling that deep sense of regret that he had since his return.
Recollecting his thoughts, as all the memories from his uni days flooded his mind, slightly unfolding his hands and lifting his chin to look at her. Jack began to prepare to tell his mother everything, all the things that he had once locked away deep inside him, as he didn't want to bother anyone, he took a deep breath and unloaded his confessions.
"Mum… Although you might not get it, I have a reason for all of this. So please, before judging and before getting angry, just listen to everything first."
Her serious and strict teacher like scowl didn't waver as she continued to look at Jack, however, she did acknowledge Jack's statement with a slight nod, taking a sip of her hot cup of tea, then finally leaning back into the sofa to hear what Jack had to say for himself.
"Uni… It hasn't been as good as I initially made it out to be for you. Although I told you I had many friends and I was doing great at my assignments and exams, it was all just a lie. The truth is the opposite, I just didn't want to worry you. You do so much for me and Rachel, how could I have you worry more?"
Listening to Jacks words, her once frowned expression and dominant aura began to slowly weaken. Up to this point, she believed every word of Jack's. That he was getting at least a B on every assignment, passing the exams each term and most of all, having fun with his roommates in the halls. However, finding out that it was all a lie to hide the truth from her, a swirling sensation began deep in her stomach.
"I said I was getting B's, but I'm actually just getting D's. Exams are the same thing; I'm only just passing, and friends? There's a reason I left the dorm. Unlike everyone else in the dorm, I didn't go out until 3 am drinking, so it was expected of me to do all the dorm chores. Cleaning, cooking, organizing the mail each morning. Everything was on me. So, between hating the course I thought that I'd love and hating my living situation I can't continue anymore."
In reaction to Jack's hidden truth, his mother sat in silence for a moment to try and absorb all of what was told to her. All that she had known and believed was true, in an instant was flipped upside down. Recollecting herself, she began to question Jack, like an in-depth interrogation. Why was he struggling when the course he chose was based on a subject he loved? Why are the people in his dorm walking all over him and more importantly why is he letting them? With every question she asked, she had one more in reserve.
After a vigorous questioning, Jack had told his mother every little detail and it was now the moment to make the final decision. His mother thinking logically laid out 3 options before him. The first was to leave the course and find full-time work instead. Option 2, was to change course completely, which would be a painstakingly long process for Jack as he would have to do another 3 years in total, instead of the initial last year, along with finding a new course that links to a passion, as Game Design did. Lastly, option 3, which was to stay on the Game Design course and take a gap year to collect himself and return to finish it when he's completely refreshed.
Tightening his lips together as he played with his fingers, nervous to make a decision. He gave thorough thought to each option. Option 2 was definitely out of the question, as the last 2 years were hard enough as it is, why would he want to go through all of that again for a longer amount of time. Option 1 seemed like a decent option as it would allow him his freedom, however, due to not being a student anymore and dropping out, he would be in the same position as his mother working many hours for little pay, due to not having a degree. The last option, option 3, looking into all the options presented to him was the best choice.
Taking a gap year would allow him to learn how to use the system properly, change his ways and start to embrace life in a whole different way. It will also allow him to return to classes and finish his degree in a year once his mind is in a better place. Taking multiple gulps of his tea and finishing it all at once, he made his decision.
"Mum, I think I'll take a gap year. I don't want to let you down and I want to be able to get a good-paying job to make the most of the future. If I quit, I won't get anywhere as you said. Most of the time degree's don't mean anything, I would graduate and end up working at the supermarket stacking shelves, but since the course is specialized… Maybe, maybe I'll get lucky. I'll notify my uni tomorrow."
With a slight smile, his mother's face lightened up, her eyes once filled with concern beamed with happiness. Although he's had a hard time and perhaps studied something that was not for him at all, Jack chose not to give up and continue pushing after a much-needed break. She slapped her knees as she stood up to take the empty cups to the kitchen, humming away to the tune that filled her head.
This was her sign of approval about the decision that Jack had made, leaving Jack both happy and relieved. He had reached the result that seemed like the perfect stance towards the near future. He hadn't let her down, he had a hope for the future albeit in a subject that he struggled a lot in, and he even managed to get some breathing space before going back to study, to get the breath of fresh air he needed.