Another late night in a small apartment block building, on a rainy night in South London, a loud screeching voice bled through the glass window from a 3rd-floor apartment, "COME ON! HOW CAN YOU GUYS SUCK SO BAD!".
For the fourth night in a row, much to the dismay of his many neighbours, Jack Keaton, was suffering once again from intense gamer rage.
"I can't be bothered to play this anymore; I can't believe I wasted my time on such a trash game."
After venting his frustration, he quit the lobby, returned to his computer dashboard, and sat in silence as the blue screen of his monitor illuminated his bedroom walls. Sat in silence, his thoughts rushed to his head.
When it came to having a fulfilling life, although being only 26 years old and barely having experienced a full-length life, joys and experiences he was supposed to have undergone sadly did not happen. He grew up as the elder sibling of a single-parent household. A mother struggling to raise two kids in an expensive city, a father who disappeared and abandoned his family in the pursuit of riches, a little sister who has never had the chance to enjoy the same things kids her age got to, and finally Jack, whom above all else, could not survive the modern world on a mental level.
He had always felt overwhelmed by society. In school, he was never able to fit in. He was too smart to fit in with the kids who struggled, but too 'stupid' to fit in with the smart kids. He was never athletic enough to fit in with the sporty kids, but never nerdy enough to properly fit in with the geeky kids. In the end, he shut himself away from it all and found solace in his passion, gaming. The one place where he could always fit in and find a comfortable environment, where he could thrive.
However, his comfortable environment, also led to him becoming a person who hides within his shell, unwilling to embrace the outside world. After finishing both school and college, he was forced into university by his mother, like most 18 years old's, however, the stress of not being able to fit in with the rest of his roommates who were the type of individuals who loved to consistently drink, party, and go on pub crawls, he decided that he couldn't hack it anymore and decided to drop out.
By doing so, he not only shut himself off from the outside world and limited himself in making friends and creating bonds, but he also isolated himself more than he knew, as his mother was filled with disappointment and could only struggle, when she tried to hide it from him and others.
He spent the next 6 years of his life locked away in his room, back at his mum's house, very rarely leaving it. Living on a diet consisting of GoobaEats and the local chip shop, devoting his life fully to gaming, which unsurprisingly became his addiction. To try and spur some motivation into Jack, his mother decided enough was enough and she would stop supporting him financially. If he were to stay in this house he would "have to earn your keep", as she once demanded.
At first, He tried to take the easy way of doing this by relying on government benefits. In his mind, this was the perfect way to go about it. He would be able to play games all day and earn enough money to; 1. Order food, so that he did not have to leave his desk or house, and 2. Use the leftover change to buy more games from the 'Rumble Bundle' site, to enhance his game collection. However, reality did not work like that. The government rejected his benefits as he did not qualify and Jack followed onto his plan b, working from home online. After scouring the internet for many nights, he found a simple transcribing job, that allowed him to survive off the bare minimum, working for only 3 hours a day.
This became his daily lifestyle. A lifestyle that consisted of rolling out of bed at 2 pm, ordering takeout at 3 pm, working till 6 pm, and then playing games until 6 or 7 in the morning. A lonely life to be sure, however, in Jack's head all that mattered was that he could relax by playing games and he could become pretty good at them.
Reflecting on the thoughts of his unhealthy lifestyle of the last 6 years, a flow of disappointment went through him. Standing up from his black leather chair, slowly walking towards the mirror, dragging his feet behind him, he stares at himself. Observing his tired face, with bags below his eyes darker than the night sky, a belly that had grown to a size too big for his original slender frame, and beard so unkept he resembled a Viking berserker.
"Where did I go wrong… Why am I like this?... If this is life, what's the point in it? Life's not that great at all, is it really that fun to work for peanuts and earn millions for some old guy, after spending £50,000 on student debt to get a piece of paper with a fancy stamp at Uni… And how do we celebrate that success and validate our purpose? Let's get drunk and dance until we forget it, then do it all again… It's not me that's wrong, it's life… there's no real purpose… As stupid as it sounds if only life was more like a game. If it were, maybe I'd be able to be happy for once… Truly, truly happy…"
The intercom to his apartment started to buzz. Who cares if life was dull, boring, and overall miserable, now being brought back to the present after being lost in his self-reflective thoughts, all that mattered now, is that pizza was here, and Jack was starving. After reaching the intercom, the delivery driver apologized, stating that due to the neighbourhood being slightly noisy due to the teens down the road having a fight in the middle of the street, he didn't feel safe, so he would leave the box of pizza slightly behind the bush at the foot of his building's door.
Although feeling the driver was overreacting a bit, this actually worked out in Jack's favour, as he never really enjoyed meeting face to face with strangers in general. So, with a timid "okay, thanks", Jack opened his door and began to head down the stairs. It was such a simple task to complete. All he had to do was to open his apartment door, walk to the landing, climb down 3 flights of stairs, get his delivery, and then repeat the same actions in reverse. However, it was the first time that Jack had left the house in nearly 6 whole years.
Due to the lack of movement withering away the muscle strength in his lower limbs, combining with the great weight gain that occurred from years of takeout consumption, Jack couldn't carry his weight. Whilst holding onto the bannister of the staircase, his left leg gave way under the pressure of his own weight and he fell down the stairs, leading to him banging the rear of his head on the foot of the cold concrete landing of the staircase, rendering him incapacitated as his consciousness slowly faded away.
After returning to his senses, thanks to the excruciating pain he was experiencing in the back of his head, Jack awoke to a very different scene. Darkness. Nothing but a black void without sound or airflow surrounded him. A feeling that can only be compared to being alone underwater, with the tranquillity of silence. Although his human instinct told him to be very scared of this situation, on the other hand, it was his mind that told him he had nothing to fear, that this was… normal.
Gathering strength into his body to conquer the fear that had built up in his body, he began to explore this lifeless place. The more he walked, the more he felt that he was standing still. Nothing but him moved, almost as if he was in a box, a black box that had nothing but him inside. After spending the next hour trying to find something to explain the situation, by hitting the floor, slapping himself awake, walking, and jumping, he came to a conclusion as he collapsed onto his butt.
"Haha… I didn't want to admit it, but I'm probably dead right? I mean I guess it makes sense… but I can't believe it's really over. What a pathetic life that was."
Jack pondered and reflected on his past. From his struggles in childhood to the uncomfortable reality that he lived during his early adult life. Then lastly, his family. After he had to come to terms with the life that he had led, the only thoughts that remained were of his mother and little sister. He didn't do much for them, nor did he have a bond with them, but regardless of that, they were his family, and they tried their best to look out for him. An individual who built walls so high, not even giants could scale them.
Thinking over these memories, brought a mountain of hurt and regret along with them. Tears that started out as small drips, began to pour like waterfalls, this was a hurt that he had never felt since the day his beloved father walked out of his family's life.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I wish I never did what I did. I miss you both so much, I don't want to die! I wasted my life, if I could get another chance, I would do everything differently. You did so much for me, and I did nothing. I'm so sorry your son was nothing but a worthless piece of meat… You lost dad to greed and lost me to myself…"
Rubbing away his tears aggressively, leaving him red-eyed, he began to scream into the void.
"I'M DEAD, BUT THERE'S NOTHING HERE! THIS ISN'T HELL, AND THIS CLEARLY ISN'T HEAVEN! GOD, UNIVERSE, WHATEVER THE HELL YOU ARE, PLEASE I BEG OF YOU, GIVE ME ONE MORE TRY, I'LL DO ANYTHING! PLEASE GIVE ME ONE MORE TRY."
His voice echoed into the darkness, with no reply. This wasn't hell, nor was it heaven, Jack was right on that statement, this was a limbo that had a sole purpose, and that was to torment a soul that had no purpose. Lying down on the floor, hopeless and exhausted from screaming to the being that put him into this hell for hours on end, in the corner of his eye, he noticed a light in the distance that shone like a car's headlights at full beam, as it floated down from the 'sky'. How could it be, that in a lifeless place that had tormented Jack, a glimmer of hope was to appear? Was this a test? Just as anyone in their right mind would be, Jack was filled with both confusion and fear.