Chereads / Lombardi / Chapter 20 - Fear of the Unknown

Chapter 20 - Fear of the Unknown

Deacon's POV

Wait till you're home. I just kept telling myself, but something kept eating at me that it needed to be addressed now. She's exhausted you idiot. Look at what she's just been through. I kept trying to rationalize what she was feeling, but somehow, I knew it was something darker than anything that I was thinking.

I took a seat off alone as my thoughts ran wild as to what was going on with Mia. I paused as I exited the room, pressing my ear against the door to listen for a moment. What I heard devastated me even farther, as soon as the door clicked shut, I heard her sobbing. What I wanted to do was race back inside, hold her and find out what was causing this sadness in her. Though I knew she wouldn't tell me unless she was ready.

Apparently, my mental distress was apparent to a couple others as well, before long Alex, Axel and Dimitri were all sitting with me silently staring.

"Where's Mia?" Axel asked happily. "I didn't figure you two would be apart for a while."

I looked between the three of them, the pain visible on my face. "She's sleeping, not really up for seeing people yet I suppose."

Axel and Alex shared a glance and focused straight back on me.

"So, what's really going on?" Alex asked. "What you're saying and the look on your face say two different things completely brother."

I ran my hands over my face slowly. "I don't know for sure." I sighed. "Something isn't right with Mia. She started crying while we were...yeah...and when I left the room, I heard her break down sobbing as soon as she was alone."

"Deacon, she's probably just releasing some pent-up emotions. Think about what she's been through in the last two weeks. This is probably the first time she's been able to actually been able to fully release everything." Axel said half chuckling.

I shook my head knowingly. "No. I could feel it throughout my entire body. This wasn't an emotional release or happy tears. Everything surrounding her felt heavy, sad and final as though something was ending."

They all looked at me oddly. "You're sure?"

I nodded slowly. "Positive. I know I should wait until we're home, in private to talk to her and all, but at the same time something is telling me that I don't have until we get home to make this right."

"Maybe one of us should try to talk to her? Maybe send Dad in." Alex suggested.

I weighed the options of who would be appropriate to go in with her. I looked to Axel first. "Would you mind? You've spent more time with her than most, with Rose and all she went through."

He met my gaze and nodded. "I can try, no promises man." Slowly Axel got up and walked into the room.

Axel's POV

As soon as I walked into the room with Mia I felt it. Utter sorrow and despair flooded my senses. I made my way slowly to her bedside. "Hey there momma how ya feeling?"

It was obvious that she wasn't asleep, but she didn't answer me. Hell, she didn't even move or acknowledge that I had said anything to her. "Mia? Anything I can get for you?"

I cautiously reached out and rested my hand lightly on her shoulder. "Mia?"

She pulled her shoulder away from me immediately. "Don't...just don't."

"Don't what? Come talk to my friend?" I asked sadly. "I bet you can't wait to get home to hold Teo and Alessia huh?"

I saw her shoulders quiver at the statement, like it upset her to even think about it. "Hey, what's wrong? Come on Sparky, talk to me. You've helped me, hell, you found me my Rose, I owe you all the happiness in the world."

"Why? It's not going to solve anything anyways." She whimpered. "You should just go back out with them; it'll be better for everyone anyways."

"What are you talking about?"

"Just go Axel."

I sat there for a few minutes before I got up and started to head to the door. I opened it quietly, turned at looked back towards the bed. I watched her silently.

Her entire body shook as she started to sob again. I closed the door again, "Mia, I obviously don't know what's going on right now, but I can assure you from experience that nothing is going to be as bad as you think it's going to be. Is there anyone you will talk to if you won't talk to me?"

I saw her shake her head. "Talking isn't going to help anything now, and no there's no one I want to talk to. I just want to be left alone. I should get used to it before we get back."

"Okay." I responded solemnly, before I left the room and returned to my seat across from Deacon.

He looked at me waiting for me to say something positive. I shook my head. I watched my friend's head fall forward. "Did she say anything at all?"

"She said that talking wouldn't solve anything and that me coming back out here with you guys would be better for everyone anyways. That's not the worst though. Mia said she wanted to be left alone, that she should get used to it before we get back." I looked at him cautiously before continuing. "Deacon, until she starts coming around, I suggest Mia isn't left alone. Something tells me this isn't going to disappear with a hug and wild sex."

"What are you talking about Axel? It's Mia we're talking about, our Mia." Alex stated.

"That isn't Mia in there Alex." I commented pointing to the door. "It might damn well look and sound like her, but it's not her. Whatever is going on in her head right now, I can tell you from experience she thinks that she has nothing left to be here for. I know that sound in a voice, Rose had it for a while."

Deacon just looked at me. "So how do I prove to her otherwise?"

"I don't know Deacon. First you have to figure out what is causing this and go from there. Do you have any clue at all? Is there a possibility that you accidentally said something that she took wrong?"

"Not that I can think of. There wasn't very much conversation honestly. We were just lying there; I was holding her. We were in the middle of...you can guess, I looked up at her and she was crying. I didn't have to ask if she was upset about anything. I could feel it. Her entire aura changed."

We all sat quietly pondering any ideas when Mr. Lombardi approached us. He looked at each of us individually, "Something tells me this isn't how you all should be looking right now."

Deacon's POV

I looked at my father seeing the sympathy in his eyes. "It's Mia, something isn't right. She started to cry while we...and when I left the room she started sobbing uncontrollably. Axel went in to try and talk to her, and she wouldn't even talk to him. She basically pushed him away, saying that him being out here would be better for everyone."

He stared back at me. "Maybe you should go back in and just sit with her son."

Axel looked at him shaking his head. "She made it abundantly clear she didn't want anyone in there with her. Sir, I'm worried about her. She sounds like she feels like there's nothing for her to be here for."

He looked between us and the door. "May I?"

"You can try, maybe you'll have some luck."

Declan's POV

As I entered the room the air felt heavy, heavier than it has ever been when Mia's involved. Nothing about her had ever felt so dark or unloving. "Figlia?"

"Your daughter is out there with Gregory, Declan." She retorted.

The response stopped me in my tracks. She hadn't moved at all. "Figlia, you are more my daughter than her. Can you please sit up and tell me what's on your mind? You have a couple people out there a little worried."

"Your family is waiting for you out there sir. I'll be fine, I don't need your kindness anymore and I would prefer that I don't receive it anymore. I don't anymore reminders. I just wish to be left alone, so I can get used to the silence." She sniffled quietly.

The statement took me by surprise, but confused the fuck out of me as well. "Reminders of what Mia, what silence are you talking about?"

"Anything."

Mia just lay there not moving. Her shoulders shook slightly while she faced away from me. Slowly I looked around the room for anything out of place. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"No. Just leave me be please."

"Of course, dear." I conceded as I left the room in silence.

"Anything?" Deacon asked hopeful.

"No." I replied calmly.

"Did she say anything that might help?" He said, sorrow seeping from not only his words. My son's eyes were dulled with sadness.

"She wouldn't allow me to call her daughter, basically telling me that my family was all out here. She told me that she didn't need nor want my kindness, that she didn't need the reminders, and she wanted to get used to the silence. Son, what is going on?"

"If only I knew that answer myself." He scoffed, as the tears that had been brimming finally fell, his gaze never leaving the closed door between the rooms. "What if she blames me? Mia knows how long it takes to get from our warehouse to home. What if she thinks I didn't care enough to leave? She could think I was involved in this, that oh god." I felt my stomach lurch as I grabbed for the trash can under the table, as I emptied any contents into the trash can.

Alex's POV

My brother had always been the stronger of the two of us. Never letting anything get the best of him, he adapted quickly, and learned quicker.

To see him like this was killing me. He loved Mia more than his own life. From the moment he laid eyes on her, he just knew she was his future. "We'll do what we have to do for her Deacon. Maybe a therapist would help her better than we could."

As his gaze shifted from the door to meet mine, I could see the lack of faith in my thought. "I would have rather gotten her back dead, than like this. At least she wouldn't be in pain then, she would be at peace, happy, she deserves that."

We were all silent at the statement. "How can I fight something I can't see?"