As he walked into a well-lit room, Johnny raised an eyebrow as he looked at a man sitting behind a fancy wooden desk, a hood covering his head and shrouding his features in shadow.
"An ambiguous hooded man for a host, Really?" Johnny muttered with twitching eyes as he sat on the leather couch next to the desk. "Couldn't the author come up with something... I don't know a little more original?" he added, judgementally staring at the host.
"Well, it's not like I wanted to be an ambiguous hooded man..." the host replied in a depressed tone, twiddling his index fingers as he pushed them against each other.
"It's all Wikced's fault..." the host added, turning to give the camera an indignant look, which sadly no one saw on the count of the hood shrouding his face. "But enough about me! We're here for you!" he stated, turning to Johnny.
"Roughly 9000 people have been reading about your adventures since you died and transmigrated to the world of one piece, and they have questions!" the host concluded, dramatically spreading his hand to the side.
"Just 9000...? I thought there'd be more..." Johnny replied, unimpressed as he raised an eyebrow. "Anyway, let's get this over with quickly. I've got places to be, buddy," he added, shrugging his shoulders as he gestured for the host to move it along.
"Right then," the host remarked, nodding his hooded head as he picked up a paper lying on his desk. "So you've been in the One Piece world for more than a year now, and the readers are curious about your long-term plans..." The host said after clearing his throat.
"So, what do you hope to achieve with your new life long term?" the host calmly asked, pausing as he waited for an answer.
"Long term... as in where I'd end up after doing what I set out to do...?" Johnny remarked with a thoughtful expression, receiving a nod from the host.
"I haven't really thought about it," Johnny stated, smiling as he shook his head. "I set out to the sea to gather power because even though I chose this world, I knew it was a crazy one, with the intent of making myself powerful enough to live as I please... that kind of thing, you know?" he added, gesturing with his right hand.
"And although I have a rough idea of how to get to that point... I haven't got the faintest clue of what to do with myself by then..." Johnny explained with a sigh, scratching his head.
"I want to see what this world offers more than anything... I'm not exactly the world-dominating, ambitious type, not in that way at least..." he added with a chuckle.
"Maybe I'll settle down in a little house near the beach, get married, and have kids once it's all said and done, but I might end up in the bottom of the ocean before I get there," Johnny remarked with a smile.
"In the end, it's a who knows kind of situation... so I'll cross that bridge when it comes to it. I'm more of an enjoy the journey rather than focused on reaching the destination kind of guy," Johnny concluded, shaking his head.
"As good an answer as any, I suppose," the host said, nodding his head. "But during this journey, you've made some questionable decisions, and more than one reader has taken it upon themselves to call you out on those decisions," he added, turning to the paper.
"One such reader said, and I quote," the host remarked, taking a deep breath and preparing to read the lengthiest question they have so far.
"Tell Me Johnny, why in your mind it seems reasonable to have bio-cybernetics that can heal like you do when that's not a thing in the one-piece world yet having Silver hands signature 14mm hand cannon is too much. You could have just claimed to have built it or found it with his cool cybernetics. I mean, an awesome gun isn't out of the question in my mind if someone or something made such impressive bionics?" The host quoted, pausing to take another breath after almost dying to asphyxiation while trying to convey the question in one breath.
"What do you say to that?" The host asked, turning to Johnny, who was looking at the host with a mixture of amusement and dumbfoundedness.
"Well, as my recent defeat made me aware, I'm just a human, you know? I make mistakes, and I'm at peace with that. But..." Johnny replied with a chuckle, trailing off at the end of his sentence.
"But that wasn't really a mistake," Johnny added, shaking his head. "I didn't know where I'd end up when I first came to this world, and a gun like that was bound to get attention... especially if I ended on some island under some yonko or underworld boss's thumb..." Johnny explained, waving a hand.
"They'd be all over me, tyring to take the gun and copy its design, and I couldn't defend myself back then," he remarked with a shrug.
"I see, that makes sense indeed," the host replied with a nod. "Then what about your cybernetics that heals you when you ingest poison and make impervious to all venoms? Wouldn't you say that's even more conspicuous? Hm?" the host asked, smugly humming as he stuck his hooded face in Johnny's direction.
"The cybernetics are inside my body, and no one can see them, unlike the gun... No one would know about them unless I used it in front of them, and even then, I can claim it's a devil fruit ability..." Johnny concluded with a smug smirk of his own.
"That makes sense... I suppose..." the host said in a begrudging tone, turning to look at the paper. "So as someone who transmigrated to the world of one piece, there are two certain women that most, if not all men in your position would try to... you know..." the host added, in a suggestive tone, making a penetration gesture with his hands.
"And it looks like you missed one of them in Alabasta... The readers want to know whether you'll make a move on them or not...? Like recruiting them or..." the host asked, repeating the same dirty gesture and pausing as he waited for an answer.
"As far as Nico Robin goes... I can't say I didn't think about it, but there are many reasons why I don't think it's a good idea to have her on my crew..." Johnny replied, scratching his head.
"The most obvious one is that I already have a giant target on my back, and I don't want to make it bigger. Sure, Robin can decipher Poneglyphs, but I don't really care about becoming the pirate king..." Johnny added with a shrug.
"Hmm? But the way to rafter isn't the only thing the Poneglyphs have to offer. Aren't you curious about the void century and whatever dirty secrets the world government is hiding?" the host asked, gesturing to the side.
"Not really, no. And even if I was interested, I could go for Odin's journal after I kick Kaido's ass and learn everything through it instead of busting my balls looking for Poneglyphs," Johnny dismissively replied.
"I see, and are there any other reasons you don't wish to have Robin on your crew?" the host asked, nodding his head.
"There is, but the most important of the bunch is because she wouldn't be the same Robin everyone knows and loves if she ended up in my crew..." Johnny replied, smiling, causing the host to tilt his head in confusion while gesturing for him to elaborate.
"Robin, like Nami, has too much emotional baggage... She needs someone to take care of that for her," Johnny added, pausing as he seemed unsure of how to voice his thoughts.
"Unlike Luffy, I don't have plot armor, nor the heart-healing power or talk-no-Jutsu anime protagonists usually have to help Robin get over her trauma..." Johnny explained, awkwardly scratching his head.
"Robin is Robin because she joined the straw hat pirates. It's that kind of thing where their goofiness and silly shenanigans rubbed off on Robin, helping her get her shit together," Johnny concluded with a chuckle.
"That... That surprisingly makes sense somehow..." the host muttered, suddenly turning quiet as he contemplated Johnny's words.
"Anyway, I'm guessing the other woman is Boa Hancock?" Johnny said, snapping the host out of his daze as he nodded in Johnny's direction.
"Well, Boa is a different story all together..." Johnny stated, chuckling. "It's not that I don't want to go for her. I can't, not now at least..." he added, shaking his head.
"I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm one horny bastard, and I'll probably turn to stone as soon as I lay eyes on her as I am right now..." Johnny explained. "Not until my Haki is stronger than hers so I can shrug off her devil fruit powers," he concluded.
"I see. While we're on the subject, there are other questions about Robin, so let's go over them while we're still at it..." the host said, clearing his throat.
....
One eternity of Johnny answering questions about Robin revolving around banging her or having her on the crew:
"Say Robin one more time..." Johnny growled, his eyes twitching as he pointed a gun at the host's head.
"Okay, man, jeez. Shoot the messenger much?" the host muttered under his breath, taking a stack of papers as thick as a phone book, filled with questions about robin and throwing it away.
"Hmm, say what...?" the host suddenly paused, touching his ear. "What do you mean we already reached more than 1.6k words!? I still have more questions here...! Fine, fine, I'll wrap up..." the host said, annoyed.
"Ahem, it looks like that's all we have time for today..." the host said in a sheepish tone as he turned to look at Johnny. "Would you like to say anything to the readers before we wrap up?" he asked, gesturing towards the camera.
"In fact, I do," Johnny said, irritation leaving his face as he smiled at the camera. "Thank you all for your support! I wouldn't have been able to have this adventure without your continued support, so stay awesome and keep those power stones flowing!" he added, bowing towards the camera.
"No, seriously, keep the power stone flowing! Wicked hasn't been feeling motivated lately and I don't feel like getting dropped (Author's note just kidding)..." he concluded in a hushed tone, winking at the camera before disappearing from sight with a quick Soru step.
"And there you have it, people! The remaining question will be answered next episode, along with any others you might have so keep the questions flowing! Like, please... I really need this job..." the host remarked, speaking the last part of his sentence in a tiny voice.
"And with that, I will see you all in the next-" the host said, suddenly freezing as a young man with green hair, wearing three swords on his side, suddenly strolled into the filming set.
"What are you looking at? You need directions or something?"