I laid down on my bed after a long day
As I closed my eyes
I felt a gentle voice in my ears
So soothing, so pure, so delicate
That I wish I cold hear it all day
The voice came from a little girl inside me
I had fed her with my dreams, innocence and happiness for years
And now all she was a little me
But I had caged her inside me
She shouted "let me out"
But I refused and told her to calm down
She shouted " you have changed"
I heard that and smiled In pain
"Why don't you play with me anymore,
Why don't you tell me your dreams anymore
Why don't you tell me about what good happened to you today
Why don't you talk about how beautiful this world is with me anymore
Why don't you let me go outside anymore
Why do you treat me as if I am no one
Why...just why...." she asked me with curiosity
I heard all that but I remained quiet
How can I tell her that
The beautiful world we used to dream about was actually a rotten place
The happiness we used to share, was now dead
The dreams we had, was now shattered by this world
How ...how can I tell her that
The dreams, the happiness we used to talk for hours was just a delusion
How..how
I don't want her to die because of the truth
So I had trapped her inside me
She pleaded to come out and see the world
But I refused everytime
She said to me she wanted
to see this world
to see the people, the place I always talked about
to be known by everyone
She wanted that everyone would be proud of her
She wanted to love everyone and everything
She wanted to live in this world
I knew her thoughts were pure and clear
Filled with wholesomeness and joy
I kept her traped inside me because of fear that
This world will ruin her
But I replied to her
I had a big suprise for you
I had been planning in this past time
So I couldn't talk to you
I am sorry for that.
Out of happiness,
She screamed and said it's ok
She was excited and thrilled
That smile on her face was very sweet
She said she had a question
"What is my name?" She asked
I thought a while and after that I said
Your name is Jun Kokoro.....
She was delighted
And she asked me
Why did I give her this name
I told her that
She was a person with pure heart
So I named her Jun Kokoro.
Tears of happiness came out of her eyes
Never had she been so delighted and happy
She then went to sleep.
I lied to her
I felt sorry for her
I couldn't keep her in this lies anymore
So I went to her and said
"Jun Kokoro I am sorry
Goodbye."
I killed her. This world world made me kill her
After that I buried her soul deep inside my mind.
Jun Kokoro's soul is still inside me
But burried deep inside
One day I will take her out again
Or
One day I will end up like her.
But however it may end
All I want to say is
I love you Jun Kokoro...I love you