Then when you Thought you were getting better but you feel the same loneliness when that day happens. POV you thought you were getting better but that same lonely feeling come back because I think that's how we want to feel sometimes when nothing really helps you feel better You have to go back in your shell, and do it all over again after the fact that you changed and became healthier when you're still in your mind in a toxic relationship, that was emotionally, drained, every living part of you out of your body with your soul got ripped out of your body because you care so much about that one person that turns up in the end of day he doesn't really want you in the first place he only wanted you for the fact that he wanted to feel love and for your body and you don't you were not naïve thinking he wants you for you not your body that was a lie. That's what I thought to myself in my head. That I thought I was getting better but in reality I wasn't getting better. I was telling myself I can do this I can do this don't give up yet you you need to live. I was getting better in my head. From last month and this month the few weeks before the 19th but no, I wanted to tell myself that stupid lie when in reality I have no one and no one really cares about me other than what's in my pants. My mom doesn't care that much about what I want and it hurts. They still live at home. I don't have a job, I don't have a credit card. I don't have anything to get me out of this house to live my life. I want to live my life before I go I wanna have kids I wanna have a house but I'm disabled apparently but I feel normal.