Juliet
I made myself comfortable in the sand, closed my eyes, and tried to think about Marcus and our days at the compound, my fifteenth birthday, to be exact. With the worst luck on my side, and the only thought haunting my mind when I thought about him—like a cruel reminder—was our time in the tunnels and being bound to chairs. It had to have been my desperation to get out of there or not wanting to see Marcus sleep with someone else, or I don't know what. The room in the dark city took me back there to where I felt it all went wrong. I glanced around, taking in the enormity of what just happened and what would happen in the next few minutes. It was true, and I was in the tunnels, for real. Soren was staring at me. Marcus was bound to a chair while I had broken out of my bondages and had stood up. Soren had said, "It seems it was never about Louis."
Marcus's words echoed in my mind, 'How you feel right now is my life… I sometimes don't even know why I am here.' Oh, how such a detached statement had broken my heart. In my office, even before I was taken, I had already decided what I needed to do. All the hurt and chaos I had chosen because I didn't know any better and was too young. Too naïve. An ignorant ass. I was older now, and I would be able to make more informed decisions—I hoped.
I had to smile when I felt it; I was going to travel again; the room would make me go back even further, and I would have a chance to see if I could fix it. Soren was disgusted at my moment of hilarity. I chuckled again and looked back at Marcus, "Did you see what I did?" His feed had luckily stopped, and I could breathe. Marcus frowned, and I said, "I'm going back. It's what we both want. I know it's all you can think about, sitting there." Marcus moved in his chair, trying to stand and get out of his bondages, wanting to talk, probably trying to stop me from giving up. "I'm going to choose you this time and see how it all plays out." Soren didn't know what was going on. I stretched out my hand and rubbed my fingers over his cheek, "I hurt you too… so much… I can't look at myself in the mirror, can you?"
Soren blinked and swallowed, and for a moment, he was my Soren again, unbroken and only a man. The new Soren came back a second later, "Julie, what are you doing?"
"I know you found out about the stone, and before you cause any more deaths... I'd rather take charge." Soren wanted to grab onto me. I pushed him so hard he flew across the room. I looked at Marcus, "Hold on. I'm going to make it all go away." He shook his head, pleading in his features. His usual inexpressive eyes were brimming with the loss of our whole family, "Don't worry about Naji. He will be there with us. I promise." I closed my eyes and traveled; the room was giving me all I wanted and where my heart would be forever changed.
I reluctantly open one eye, only a sliver to peek out. It was my room at the compound, decorated in light pink and flowery wallpaper, "Urgh, what was I thinking." I didn't need to worry about consequences or children dying, so I jumped out of bed and up and down in the air, clapping my hands together. The first thing I did was lift my nightshirt over my head and look at myself in the mirror. I turned this way and that way. It was all gone. No snakeskin. No Earth tattoos. No Caleb tattoo. No teleporter tattoo. I twirled in a circle and fell on the bed, kicking my feet and writhing in pleasure. Was this not everybody's dream at one point in their lives, to be able to go back in time and do it all again. Change that one decision you know messed up your life forever. Was it really happening, though? Or would it be like a dream… I pinched myself and yelped. I hoped Caleb was okay. My parents slowly opened the door, "Julie, you alright?"
I looked down at my naked body, "Oh yes, I—" I reached for my nightshirt and pulled it over my head.
"Well, happy birthday," my dad said and came to give me a hug.
"Thank You, Daddy," he looked confused as I smiled brightly up at him. Then my smile fell; it was the day I would ask Marcus to kiss me as a birthday present.
"Are you feeling well?"
"Dad, out. You too, Mom. Thank You, I'll be out in a little while." I closed the door and hurried over to the curtains, drawing them. The room was dark—enough. I jumped back in bed and pushed my pillows in under the sheets beside me. I covered my head and tried my manifestation and my ability. I sighed heavily when both worked. I scooted up, and my head peaked out of the sheets. I blew some hair out of my face. It only took a second, and I flung the sheets off me and lay there for a while, figuring out if my plan would work. I wanted this test to be before the brandings, but not so far back as what Chris would've had to go to make it all go away.
I got dressed and, without any emotional effort, pulled my veil over my head; if I was going to live with it, I would embrace it. Michael would never form his attachment to me; he had told me it was after my fifteenth birthday when he saw me differently. Chris didn't know I existed… and Louis… I smiled; he would eventually come for me. Anyway, Louis couldn't be a factor right now. I had to give it all to Marcus.
There was a knock at the front door—it was him. My sweaty hands were running up and down my thighs. I was going to be a good girl this time around. I giggled. Michael was still watching me, and in some way, I had to get him to let go of us. Luckily, he would never have met Stevie if we had never left the compound.
"Julie, Marcus is here," my mom's voice came from the other side of the door. The nickname I could do nothing about. Another thing I would have to overcome. I slowly opened the door and took in the old Marcus, who widened his eyes, frowned, and opened his mouth to say something, yet shut it again. He didn't like to see me in my veil. Well, if I had to get used to it, he would have to adapt quickly. I had forgotten what he was like back then. It was bittersweet to see him with long hair tied behind his head and a beard, dressed in a stylish summer kurta matched with off-white pants and sandals. No wonder I fell in love with him. He had an air about him.
I was still going to be myself in a way… So I bent down and kowtowed before him. Marcus laughed. I was trying desperately to hold in my own mirth. Maybe in three years, it wouldn't feel so strange anymore. My parents stared at me when I got up, "Julie. What are you doing?" my dad asked.
"Greeting Marcus Ahmed… Proper customs in the compound are expected."
Marcus's eyes hardened, and his lips pulled up in irritation. I went down again and lifted a hand. Marcus swore—loudly. "Julie, this isn't funny," my dad reprimanded.
I waited with my hand raised in the air. Inside, I was laughing so hard. I couldn't wait for my life to start. My compound life, letting Marcus have it his way, only one man to keep happy, a new beginning, and maybe even a path out of our current mess. The sex would be a problem for the year I was still 'maturing'; I had to wait until I was sixteen. It would be my celibacy before I got married if Marcus still wanted me.
"You may speak, Julie," my dad said with a raised tone.
"I would like to talk about my marriage in a year."
There was such silence in the room, although I couldn't see anyone because my forehead was on the floor—another thing I would have to get used to. I had to do all I could not to jump up and ruin it all. 'The way you feel right now is my life.' The words did not want to let me go. It was holding back every emotion. He was not even able to look at his own son. So angry at me when we fought about Soren. How difficult it was for him to accept the other men in my life.
"Julie, you may get up," my dad said at last. The look on all their faces was one I knew would be there—disappointment. I had to endure it. My dad and mom would never get out of the compound. Marcus would have it both ways, and I was okay with my choice. He never had to know what my mind had been through. My sorrow for my losses would carry me through the years to come, subdue me, and let me turn into what Chris hated. "Come sit, Marcus. It seems we all need to have a talk," my dad pulled out his chair in irritation and plopped down. Marcus could not keep his eyes off me. I was deliberately avoiding eye contact. He was so discomposed; he was fidgeting; his hand was nervously rubbing over his mouth, through his hair, and two thumbs were twirling around one another on the table. My dad noticed, and he cocked an eyebrow when he looked at me, "You may speak, Julie."
"I want to prove myself this year. I know… I have to be sixteen to get married. And if we are to live here, I want to make the best of it."
"Julie, you said you didn't want to go into that house," Liam said frankly. Marcus's eyes darted from my father to me.
"I have come to realize there actually can be worse houses, I suppose. It was only a thought or a realization. And you three can agree."
I waited. All three nodded.
"So… I know I have to be sold at an auction," I turned to my dad. I couldn't give away too much, "With the way you and mom talk about Qadir… there must be some history there?" I asked, pitching my voice.
My dad nodded, "You believe it would cause a problem with your auction. Julie, where did you hear about all of this?"
"I do apologize, Dad. I snooped and found the registry… and some other documents… in your room."
"Oh, Julie," my mom took my hand in sympathy.
I was such a good liar. It would be the performance of a lifetime. I would never get bored. "And I found my dress you're working on," my mom smiled, "It's really beautiful," my mom squeezed my hand. They didn't even know there was a third planet, let alone would they be able to figure out the rest. I dared to look at Marcus. I would wait to hear what he would say. I had done as little as possible; maybe I could've left it entirely. My parents followed my gaze. Marcus's mouth was gaping, and his head was in one hand. I hoped he was ready, but no, he was speechless. My dad thought it a good time to intervene, "Maybe we can give Marcus some time to think about it."
"Yes, of course," I said like the adult I was, suddenly.
Marcus's breath hitched. His eyes would have to accept what he wanted. It would be all about him. My dad stood up. I was not going to bow when my father got up; it would be too much. "Marcus, I think you should go. Give us a month here. I will call you." Marcus didn't even hear him. My dad touched his shoulder. I wondered if Ahasuerus would let him marry me. We would have to wait and see. Or if Rana pitched up or not. I would kill her in her sleep. Marcus got up, and I fell to the floor—elegantly, of course. Marcus cussed again and stomped out the door. I waited, "Juliet, for f— sake, what is going on," my dad exclaimed.
I wanted to giggle—get excited—however, that would never happen again, not in public… I was doing training—conditioning myself; I would not need to go into a camp.
I would govern myself.
"Get up," my dad said.
I did listen, "Mom. I do feel like cake. Can I help you in the kitchen?"
My dad swore as well and left the house. My mom watched him go and spun around. I yanked off my veil and laughed, "Oh, Juliet! That was too naughty," she smacked me lightly on the arm, "Although I think you got your point across."
I shook my head, "No… Mom… You have to listen to me!" I took her arms in my hands, "I want to ask you a big favor."
Her eyes widened, "Yes?"
"I need to see this through…" I said it slowly so it could sink in, pleading with my eyes, "If we are staying here. If I am staying here… It will be me and you, and I would need you."
My mom took my hand, "You've changed… You want to… conform? Juliet, what really happened?"
"I had a… bad dream… One where you wake up and it consumes you. It feels like you don't know what is real and what is not. I saw myself go down a path—" Tears welled up in my eyes; my tongue wet my lips as I thought about how much we'd been through.
"I understand," she pulled me closer, "I am sorry I didn't tell you everything or fight harder to not let your father go on the way he has."
"I understand," her grasp tightened around me, "I miss you so much. And I will when I move out."
"Are you sure? You have no idea what it will be like!"
The following sentence would be for Michael. He would be at the edge of his seat, or maybe back then, he wasn't—I couldn't take the chance. "I… want… Marcus… You told me he is in love with me… If I had to wait for him?"
My mom bobbed her head, "The man is so self-controlled it sometimes scares me. You're right; Marcus needs the push."
"I also manifested for the first time and had little control. I'm not ready for him to see it."
My mom nodded, "You would do anything for him? You want to do this for him?"
"Yes," I hoped my dad would not push through with the branding and ask me this time. I hoped my behavior would be enough all around. The only thing left was to wait and see what Qadir and Ahasuerus said or if he would come in there and take Marcus to En-gannim. Then another thought hit me, "Mom. On the compound… Do the first wives have a right to decline second marriages?"
"Yes, of course," I breathed out the breath I was holding, "The women get so fed up with their husbands they welcome it," I bobbed my head, "The one thing you would not be able to manage."
"No," I laughed, "Then… I would have to think again."
My mom giggled, "Let's go bake a cake. Chocolate?"
"Yes, please. And how does it work being fed every week?"
"Oh, don't worry. You will be fed by the end of the day. You ready to kill someone."
I chuckled, "I thought it was all natural. I would have no control."
My mom smiled, "You are growing up… too fast."
"Honestly, I want my life to start. And it's only a year. I think this way is better."
***
Marcus
When I walked out of the house, Kubra was waiting outside the car. His face seemed as confused as I was. How could he know what had happened? It was such a strange feeling I had. We were about to drive off when Liam came out of the house and slammed the door, walking down the road. He had been talking to me about the brandings. Still, after the change in Juliet's personality, it wouldn't be necessary anymore. Kubra watched me in the rearview mirror. I glanced up and met his eye, "What? Spit it out."
"You want to tell me why you came out after only ten minutes?"
"There is nothing to tell… I don't even know what happened."
Kubra left it and drove me back to the house. We had so many meetings to attend, and I had canceled everything because I would've spent the day with them. Now, I had to sit and think and digest what had happened. Juliet had taken off her veil for months. Liam even talked to me about marriage. Did he break through to her? My finger was tapping on the door handle, trying to make sense of Juliet's behavior. I would have to wait and see. Maybe she was playing a trick on us.
The moment I stepped foot in the door, on my way to greet my mother and have a meal, my father called me to his study. He was waiting for me at the top of the stairs. I was too distracted to care. Why had she put the veil back on? I was getting so used to seeing her face. Her beautiful face made me want to get up every morning. She was so adamant about getting out of there and going to school—restless. I took the stairs one at a time, not looking up at my father, going into the room, and sitting down.
"Marcus!" Qadir's voice broke through to me; I sat up and paid attention, "Hmm… Kubra tells me you've been going to Liam's house every day for months."
"Yes, Sir."
"What is going on?"
"He has a daughter."
"Oh… I didn't even know."
"I think that was the point."
"I'm glad you're so frank about it."
"Liam approached me about making it official."
"Why this chit?"
I didn't know what to tell him. He knew Liam was different. I didn't know how much Qadir knew or how much Kubra had stabbed me in the back. I knew I was being watched. If Qadir decided to keep a closer eye on the Furrows, their world would become even smaller. I had arranged for the streets out there not to be patrolled at certain times so Juliet could jump her heart out, get to go into the street and walk around. Guessed, it wasn't necessary anymore; if she would conform, it wouldn't matter. If Qadir found out she was reading and Liam was schooling her, it would not be good; he would not like it.
"Marcus!"
I sat up again, "I saw her face," I blurted out. It was all I could say to make it seem plausible. "I went there to talk to him. A few times. Have a drink. Nothing more. It was an accident, and I have been going ever since."
"I see. So it's about bedding her?"
"Yes. Nothing more. It's been a long time since I've been allowed out."
"I understand." I thought I would roll out my chair, Qadir using the words, 'I understand.' "You have not taken a wife. I have asked you many times."
"Yes, sir. I have been to so many auctions… but…" I took a chance and said, "Like you, I want what I want."
Qadir actually huffed/laughed, "You know I have plans. If this is one thing I give you… Will you follow without a word?"
Oh, I knew it was too good to be true, "Yes, sir."
Qadir got up to walk around, "The auction? Is she so available? Will it be a bidding war?"
"I don't know."
"Well, bring her to meet me, I want to see what she's like. And not in a month, mind you—this week." I watched him with interest. How did he know it was a month. He turned his head to look at me over his shoulder. I got to my feet, bowed, and retreated before I got locked up again.
The following day, I stopped outside their house; Juliet was not jumping. I had to shake my shoulders and prepare myself. Her bowing in front of me was not something I would get used to. It irked me. The… gesture had put me off… I hesitated to open the car door, wondering if I should be doing this. What the hell was going on? I could've married any woman if Juliet would turn out to be the same as the rest. Was it her I wanted?
Kubra opened the door for me, and I had to step out. Hesitantly, I took each paving stone at a snail's pace, my eyes on the ground. Liam opened the door.
"Hi."
"Hey, Marcus. Anything wrong?"
A sardonic chuckle escaped. Yes, a whole lot was wrong… The sound aggravated me. My emotions were all over the place. I was not used to it at all. Juliet was the one who had to unsettle me, make me smile, and someday anger me, not making some decision about whether I wanted a compound wife. No talking. At home on her bed. For the next thousand years. Could I do it to her? She was so against it, fighting us at every turn.
"Marcus!" Liam scolded, just like my father. Why was everyone up in my business suddenly? "Marcus!"
"No, nothing is wrong. My father wants to meet Juliet."
Liam let out a low hiss, "Oh! Come in then; it seems both of us are on that train. You want to get off?"
"I'll tell you in the next five minutes."
Liam laughed, "That's better. There you are."
I had to chuckle again. It was true. Juliet was a train down a track, and there was no point in getting in her way. It did make me feel a little better; he was as conflicted as I was. If it was something Juliet really wanted. I stepped through the door, and her room door was closed. I quickly looked at Liam, "She's been in there since yesterday." Cindy came out of the kitchen without her veil on. I greeted her like always. I never cared about the veils. They knew how I handled it. Why would Juliet put it back on… What happened in that house?
"Marcus, you want to sit down. Cindy, will you call Juliet for us."
Oh, how weird it was to hear him speak like that, treating Cindy more like a servant. I wanted to scream. Juliet usually opened the door for me, touched me, and took my hand for no reason. A whole year of this? A lifetime? I sat down absentmindedly. Her door opened, and she walked over and bowed again. I wouldn't swear again or make a scene—a little more in control of myself— yet I had not slept at all, and my teeth were chattering in an irritated manner. How could one kowtow put me off… If she took off the veil, would it be different? "Liam. Would you mind if I have a word with Juliet alone?"
Just saying her name and not having the endearment grieved me, but calling her Julie at that moment felt so out of place. I was suddenly the one who wanted to run, propel down the gorge, and see if we could make it. The next thing was even weirder. Liam didn't ask for permission. "Yes, of course. Juliet, get up and sit down." Oh, how my heart ached. Like it never had before. It is what I wanted. Although having what you wished for… might never be what you needed.
Juliet did what she was told. Liam and Cindy walked out to the firepit and closed the door. You could see them. I didn't know if they could hear us.
"Will you take your veil off?"
Juliet obeyed with a slight hesitancy in her hands, the tiniest pause you could've missed. Our eyes met, and there was only tenderness in them. I clasped my hands. There was also a flicker of a smile for a second, and I swear if she was acting, I would… No, I wouldn't; I rather hoped… She would not talk without permission, and it took all my guts to say the following words, "You may speak freely when I ask you questions." I had to force out the words, clearing my throat. She bit the inside of her cheek, holding back a smile; I laughed out loud, breaking our eye contact and rubbing my hands frustratingly over my face.
"My father wants to meet you." The light behind her eyes numbed, and I frowned in confusion. She nodded. "He says this week. Not in a month. Do you want to?" I would always ask for permission when we were alone. She nodded again. "Why?"
"Because… you… are enough."
The words had come so quickly and so out of nowhere; they floored me. My eyes closed, and my feelings consumed me. A heaviness. A relief. A knowing. Acceptance. She was trying. I would try, too, "It's really all you had to say."
"I love you, Marcus."
My eyes shot up to her face. She was so vulnerable and young, open and honest to a fault, one step ahead of me at every turn. I didn't know what to say. She would still be my Juliet in some ways, "How did you know?"
"My parents," I bobbed my head.
"You don't have to put it on indoors."
"Thank you."
My vision blurred as I batted away moisture and composed myself, taking a deep breath. She was giving herself to me in every way. I stood, wavering, and slowly went to sit next to her, holding out my hand.
She looked at it for a long time… "Marcus… I manifested for the first time on my birthday. I'm still getting used to it… and with it comes all the other aspects, including… desire." I blushed bright red— felt the heat in my core and up into my cheeks. At two hundred and something, I was sitting across from my future for the first time. "So if I have my veil on…" she looked down at my hand, "Don't touch you… That's the reason."
"Oh, Julie." Her eyes shot up and hardened in an instant at the endearment. "I'm sorry. I made a mistake."
She took my hand and clasped it with both of hers, "May I be excused?"
I wanted to consume every part of her. Take it all back and rewind time. Whatever happened should not have happened. I desperately clutched onto her hand, my inner walls lamenting at the loss of a part of her; I forced myself to let go.
Before she went into her room, she turned, "This year is going to be the most difficult year of our lives… I know it will be worth it."
"F—," I got up quickly and left the house, quit it altogether, and made a run for the car. I at least heard her laughing while her door closed.
I plummeted into the back seat, face down into the leather, "Drive Kubra. He jumped out and closed the door, and we left.
***
Ahasuerus
Jabin came into my office. I glanced up quickly to see who it was and continued with my work. There were too many prisoners, and I had to think of something. Sending Qadir more of our people would put a strain on the compound; his plans were a few years away, and we both had to be patient.
Jabin didn't say anything until I was done, "Speak.'
"There is a problem with Marcus."
My head slowly lifted, "What?"
"He…" Jabin's mouth actually twitched. My head tilted, "Marcus has chosen a wife."
"Boy's lust finally got the better of him?"
"It didn't happen at an auction."
"Show me."
Jabin waved the tube through the air. There was a condensed version of the last few days. I had Jabin pause every now and again during their conversation, and then I also smiled when he ran for the car.
"Do you remember how we were after a hundred years of celibacy… Our first wives… The chit is well-behaved for a young one… A little direct… He did give her consent to speak freely… Who is she?"
Jabin growled, "Liam's daughter."
My head slowly came around to him, and we stood facing each other. "No wonder! It's time I meet with Samuel and Qadir… After the meeting at his house. Bring me a tube when they come. I want to see more of her history, too. Someone is educating her. She cannot be so… something is afoot."
"Yes, your Majesty."
"Who is her watcher?"
"Michael Heinz, some random human. Nothing out of the ordinary."
"For now. If this goes through, he'll be promoted. Does Kubra know him?"
"Yes, I'll make sure Samuel brings him in."
I bobbed my head and cleaned my teeth with a black nail, thinking, and before he could leave, I said, "Jabin, set up a meeting with Avrio," he bowed and left.