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Chapter 71 - I’ll See You When I See You

Juliet

We all went for many walks. Spent so much time together trying to cram in the future. Chris and I didn't want to disappear into the mountains. We told Marcus about Chris leaving but that Michael came to tell us. Because the buzzing hadn't stopped, he went on as usual. We trained every day. Neither Charlene nor I had the luxury of sitting still. The two of us always stayed and cleaned when everyone was done. So it gave us a lot of time to talk. "Are you okay, Charlene? Still having nightmares?"

"No… I have been getting in bed with… Carl… It's the only way I can sleep… I'm scared he is going to have to leave too." She stopped working when her thoughts got the better of her.

"I don't think so. The watcher system will change. They will follow Qadir's orders. He won't want any part of it." I suggested. 

"He won't have a choice… And I won't see you ever again… I'll be stuck alone in this place forever. I had thought we would have more time." Charlene sat down on the mats. "I knew things would change. But this isn't at all what I thought would happen."

"Louis and I have been talking… Maybe you should move to the Paris house… Or even back home to your parents."

"Yeah, that would go great. Having my kid change into a little furry dog in the middle of family dinner." We both laughed, making jokes about her parents and how they would react. Or being in front of the Eifel tower and claiming it had magical powers. "Paris is too crowded. If Ben left me there. What would I do? Juliet… this is all my fault." 

I laughed lightly. "No! This is no one except Qadir… You and Miné are blameless."

"Will you put it on again?" 

I had to shake myself to get rid of the heebie-jeebies thinking about my… veil. "I don't have a choice."

"Well then, let's dance and get drunk and smoke. Fornicate." 

"Hell yeah! Before I have to cover myself again."

The sound of the werewolf boys coming into the house was noisy. Charlene and I quickly glanced at each other. Our mouths turned down simultaneously. Ben had been gone for far longer than he should've been. He gave an excuse. Said he stayed with his parents for a bit. But I could see it bothered her. He wasn't there to protect Miné. He wasn't there to comfort her after. Ben was still a boy, and so was Carl.

***

Marcus

Locked away in my room. I heard the music before I got the invitation to come out onto the patio. They were going to drink and play games. Grill meat. Two hours later, everyone was drunk except Carl and me. While she was going on with the evening. I was staring at Juliet… Deciding if it would be a good time to take things further. When she challenged me to take over from Chris. I wanted to call her bluff. She danced with Louis, Chris, and Charlene. They were having a good time. Even Liam and Cindy were letting loose. I could've joined them. Looking back, I should have. Ben had come back. After we heard what happened between Carl and Charlene… everyone was a little weird around them. Like the werewolves were… maybe not part of the family. Juliet was telling them about Michael's striptease. I couldn't help but laugh with them. Charlene liked the story so much and challenged Carl, pointing a finger at him. He flipped her off. Juliet and Charlene burst out laughing. I observed Ben carefully. He wasn't stupid. The cold shoulder he was receiving made me cringe. But… Charlene wasn't all over Carl either. It wouldn't surprise me if she dumped both of them for pushing her into a corner. She was a lot like Juliet in that regard. They wanted to be chosen. And felt like love should be unconditional. I didn't always feel like that. In the past, I would have laid down the law. Boundaries. It took Juliet almost dying and me allowing it to wake up. But I would never strip for Juliet... Carl didn't seem the type either… Michael, on the other hand. Sure knew how to show her all the human things there were to enjoy. That letter and a simple cat. I had a long way to go in showing affection like that. If I ever could. She really… just wanted to be happy. I would miss all of it… France. The house. The people that loved me. 

They thought I didn't know… but I did. It was plain in the way she was pushing herself to the point of exhaustion. The fear ran off her. Why we were going back… I had yet to figure out. Even the watcher tech had changed. It was the same as it was before the embassy. The surveillance was there… But different. 

After spending as much time with Carl as I could, I got up and made my way to the bathroom. I needed to check on Caleb and Miné in her room. They were fast asleep and still so cute. I wanted kids… Desperately. A family with her. As I was coming out of the room, Juliet was stumbling through the hall on her way somewhere. I grabbed her arm to steady her. Pulled her against me, "Where are you going?" I asked. 

"To bed." Her words slurred. 

It was all the invitation I needed to make up my mind. Sure, my grandfather wasn't watching anymore. I nudged her into my room, closed the door, and pushed her against the wall. She giggled. My arm rested above her head. I took her chin in my other hand and moved her face to the side. I kissed her ear, sucking the soft flesh between my lips. Bit and licked down her neck and pressed my lips onto hers when I couldn't keep myself in anymore. She pushed me away. Roughly. "What the hell are you doing?" She ranted. Or tried. 

"What does it look like?" 

She was drunk and cute as hell. "Like this?" 

I had to smile. Juliet was unavoidable, and it had been months of excruciating control that wanted to come undone. If I was going to let go. I would show her just how much she meant to me. "Yeah, why not?" I said before I took her bottom lip between mine. 

"Our first kiss is going to be when I'm drunk… And won't remember it... No… Screw you. You had a million opportunities." 

She wanted to leave. I pushed her back against the wall, licking her lips like she did with me in the car. It had been so unexpected. Driven me to comply and open my mouth. Like I wanted her to do at that moment. She turned away from me, exposing her shoulder. It didn't deter me… I kissed her everywhere she would allow me… "Mmm, Mmh," Her moans were low, and she fisted my shirt. "Why like this?" Her voice was ragged. She lifted her chin, standing on her toes… Inviting me to go lower. 

I picked her up and pressed her waist against the wall, closer to my prize. "Why not?" My fingers curled around the edge of her shirt. I pulled down to expose the important... Flesh… She dropped her legs and pushed me away. It made me stumble backward. I retaliated, pulling her onto the bed and falling on top of her. "We have to do it now." I kept tenderly assaulting her mouth, tasting the sweet alcohol she had on her lips. 

Her eyes were closed. "Why?" She whispered. I could barely hear her pressing my hips into hers. 

"Do you think we'll be able to do it at the compound for the first time? And you drunk… Is making it very difficult for me. You're so pliable." I whispered. 

My words didn't even get her attention. I tried kissing her again, but there was no reaction. Her eyes were closed. "Julie… Julie! I slapped her softly on her cheeks. The corner of her mouth lifted a tiny bit. She had fallen asleep. I rolled off her, wrestling with my need. "F-." I'd waited too long. Maybe I should have done it an hour earlier… 

***

It was hours before she woke up. Startled that she was in my bed. On my chest while I read. Her eyes darted nervously down her body. Like I would be reading after that. What did she take me for? She sat up jerkily, making sure, sighing, she fell back against the pillows. 

"Are you soberer?" 

She laughed lightly. "Marcus Ahmed… What happened… Why am I here?"

"You can't remember?" I smirked. 

"You wouldn't have kissed me when I was drunk? You wouldn't have let me miss out on the one thing I longed for… Since I was fourteen." 

I smirked for another reason… Best compliment ever… Hearing her use the word longing and me in a sentence was the ultimate turn-on. "No… Of course not." I said and pressed my lips together. So I wouldn't laugh. I was so happy, that stupid smile on my face. 

Juliet got up and headed for the door in a huff, stopping when it all settled in her mind. "Why am I here?" She paused. "Did you want to…?" She spun around.

I couldn't get the words out. Have our first time be like that. Another reason I let Chris have her. "You fell in the hall drunk. So I brought you in here because you insisted… Why do you want to…?" 

That face… She more than wanted to. 

I heard Chris in the hall calling out to her. My shoulders dropped, thinking about it… She wouldn't see him… For… We didn't know how long. I didn't want to take that from her. I got up when she started walking towards the bed. I pushed past her, yelling at Chris to come and get her. Drunk, he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Climbing up the stairs, up towards the loft, laughing. 

Louis walked into Juliet's room to sleep with Caleb. Stopped at the door and narrowed his eyes at me. "Wicked cool of you, Marcus. You're a romantic after all, aren't you?" I walked over and pushed him into my room. "Sleep there. I'll watch the kids." 

I wanted to spend time with Caleb anyway… I wasn't going to see him either. And Louis wasn't fit to look after them.

***

Juliet

"I think he has your eyes," Chris marveled. Caleb's little hand gripped his finger, moving it up and down. 

"Maybe… He's too small to say. It might change." 

We were both propped up in my bed with pillows behind us. Caleb was in my lap. We were taking in all of him, playing with him. "You never gave me that gift that you said you brought me…." 

Chris was quiet. "I… had Warden put it back into the safety deposit box… I went to get it. But I… believe when you really need it, you will go find it." 

It was a Sunday late in the afternoon. Such a peaceful day. The weather was perfect. The sky outside was beautiful, playing around with different colors as the sun descended. 

There was a knock at the front door… "Do you think Carlene came back for something?" Louis always did the honors. Because it was his house. So no one would jump up. We heard him, the door opening, and then… nothing. A few minutes had passed when all our heads came out of the rooms and stared down the hall. And at each other. We were all on edge… The time for Chris to go would be any second. No one could move. Marcus took this as his cue to see what had happened to Louis. But Marcus also didn't come back… The house was now deadly quiet. My eyes met my mom's and dad's, whose room was the furthest down the corridor. She nodded at me, closing her eyes. It was time…

"Marcus!" Chris called out. No reply. He took my hand. I could hear his heart beating faster. His breathing was shallow. He turned to me… "Juliet, I love you." I nodded. "And I'm sorry that I have to leave." I nodded again. "I don't want to go."

The heavy treads came up the stairs from outside. 

Chris pulled me closer. Put his head on the crook of my neck and held me as I clung to him. Caleb was enveloped by us. They came around the corner… Aliens… somewhat like Chris… Fully manifested and huge, bending their heads down to fit, coming into the house. Careful not to break anything. One of them was not manifested. From the orange hue of his skin. The black clothes he had on. It could only be Silvanus. My mom and dad came out behind us. We were all just waiting... Two more came through the door with an unconscious Marcus and Louis, putting them gently on the carpet around the dining room table. Those Riphaths were grown up. Made little Chris seem like a baby. They had horns growing out of their head. Ears large and pointy like Chris's but limping downward with earrings dangling from the top to bottom. There were five altogether. They came around the table. Went down on one knee, bowing in front of Chris in the shape of a v. Silvanus at the head. The weapon-like spears they carried in one hand planted on the floor next to their bodies. 

The floor shook when they all walked on the wood. But I thought the next one would fall right through. The biggest of them all came around. Walked over to me and held out his massive paw for Caleb. I placed him gently down. The man turned to Chris and stroked his face. "My boys." The voice was rough and low. His paw lifted to Chris's forehead. He rubbed his thumb from one side to the other. Chris fell to the floor in front of me. The men at his feet caught him. I guessed that it had to be Chris's father… 

The enormous creature peered down at me. "I am sorry. Thank You for loving him so much. But they have to go home now… If it wasn't for you… I would never have found my son. And now my grandson. We have been searching for him… until he manifested… for you… that night. It was such a celebration. I would have come for him. But we found out you were pregnant… The celebration continued… They can't stay. You understand why."

I nodded, my lip quivering. Caleb wasn't even crying. The love that came from the man for his son and his grandson was unmistakable. Chris was being carried out high on their shoulders. Silvanus watched me for a moment and nodded his approval. I walked quickly to the door… "Wait…! Please tell me how!"

Chris's father turned. "It's not that simple… You're a vampire… Species don't mix."

"Tell Caleb I love him. That this isn't what I wanted." 

"I will tell him all about you... Little Juliet." 

They stood in a circle where the watchers always teleported out. They disappeared. It was too quick and like a dream. My world was ripped out from underneath me. My child was gone. Chris was gone. All I saw was suffering at the compound. I didn't know what to do... So I disappeared as well. I kept running and running further into the woods. I could feel myself turn and not into a vampire. The fear of not hurting Louis anymore set me free. I let it be. Like he said, I should. Let the feelings consume me. If I had to change and be controlled, so be it. 

***

Louis

Opening my eyes, I saw the dining room table from the bottom of the floor. Sitting up, I quickly scanned the room. Marcus was lying next to me. It was only Cindy and Liam sitting on the couches. I didn't see Juliet. Groggy, I got up, gripping a chair.

"Liam…" I croaked out. They both came over and helped me into a chair. "Where is she?"

"We don't know… It's been hours." I sat back in the chair, rubbing my forehead with my hand. 

"Why did they drug us? It's so weird… I went out. They were friendly. We all knew what was going to happen. We could've said our goodbyes."

"I think it was about the time… They did the same to Chris. They didn't stay to chat. It was like they were in a hurry." 

I shook my head, trying to wake up. "Should we try and get Marcus off the ground. It feels weird leaving him there."

Liam bent down and tried to wake him up. He complained. "No, let's leave him. He is only a few minutes behind you. I got up and made my way to the kitchen. "The only way we will find her is if we get Benjamin to run around and search for her," Liam suggested.

"Stress makes her turn… what's going to happen… if she stays like that… and we can't bring her out?" Cindy stuttered. "Even if Ben miraculously finds her in the mountains. How will she come back out." Her voice was breaking. She was emotional. Her thoughts run to Caleb being gone. Liam pulled her into an embrace. 

"It will be okay, love." He coaxed.

"Has Michael not come by after they took Caleb?" Cindy shook her head.

"I don't understand why he would talk about this magic button. Rodrigo says the same thing, but he didn't give it to anyone… Of all people, he should have known when Caleb was going. He would have known that she would turn… What is that guy thinking?" 

I drank my coffee, sitting down across from them. "Do you feel any pain?" I sat up, eyes wide, wondering if I should tell them or use this opportunity for another dose… I hadn't thought about it. 

"No! Maybe she is still Juliet and fought it like last time... We should go out and help Ben call for her."

"Are you guys okay?" Liam sat next to Cindy with her in his arms and her legs draped over his. 

She shook her head. "It's so unfair. That we will never see Caleb again."

Marcus sat up. I walked over to him, putting my coffee mug on the table. I reached out a hand, and he grabbed it. He held onto me when the dizziness made him falter. I helped him to the couch and pushed my mug into his hand. "Wake up properly. We have to go."

"Go where?"

"Juliet disappeared with her ability. She hasn't come back yet." 

"But she… If she changes while being like that, wouldn't she… Did she plan this?" He asked me. 

I wasn't taking any chances. I was almost sure Qadir was lying. That the house was still under surveillance. So I ignored him and quit the house. I already said too much about Michael. Hoped the man would edit the feed. 

***

The four of us walked down the road to Charlene's door. I knocked loudly. Almost banging. Carl opened quickly. We went inside, telling them everything that had happened. 

After an hour of waiting for the sun to set and the moon to come out, it was up to Ben to go out and try and find her. We were on their porch when he turned. He stepped down and ran into the woods. He was the only werewolf there that night.

***

Marcus 

The five of us fanned out in different directions to maybe talk her out of hiding. Louis and I were walking together.

"I thought you guys were exaggerating about the size… Did you see the last one?" Louis asked. "They were different from Chris. It seems like they become bigger as they grow up… Have you learned anything else about the planets? I can't think that they are affected by the moons on their planets. Maybe it has to do with that. Chris took so long to manifest. Forgetting like a werewolf… You can't tell me the whole of Palmyra had days where they're uncontrollable." 

I paused and turned towards him. Louis stopped talking. His eyes met mine... "What?" 

"Maybe… we can force her out?" I suggested.

"I don't know if it's a good idea… What if she turned and ate all of us… Are you going to be able to fight her… Is she infectious? Did Rodrigo tell you? What if I turn, and you have two badass killing machines on your hands but no magic buttons?" Louis was rambling. It was weird. Avoiding my eye. He wasn't at all worried about Juliet. 

"We have to do something." I spat.

"Then you do it. Force her out." 

Just thinking about telling Juliet what to do. In that way… I didn't want to. I liked the fact that Louis was the head of the house. "You know I won't."

Louis scoffed. "You'll also do nothing when she needs you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"You don't hurt her. But you also don't help her." He hissed. 

Were we fighting? For the first time? "What, like you beating her in the ring." I snapped.

"Like you running away… again." 

I hit him in the face with my fist. Louis laughed as his feet moved from the punch. "At least we're getting somewhere… It's time you man up." He rubbed his face. 

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're not yourself."

"Oh, this is me… I think our friendship is over. I have given you time. NO! I've made you a part of this family. She has given you everything she's got. We're going back. And you know it. But you won't say anything. There is no reassurance from you… What are you going to do, Marcus?"

I had no answer for him. Do they want me to kill my father as soon as we step foot over the threshold? "Well, yes… will you?"

Angry, I pushed past him, going back towards the house. We were getting nowhere in finding her. "No! I'm not telling her to go back. You all decided that all by yourselves. You left me out."

He spun me around. "You would let her die?"

"No! She's not going to die. My father can't kill her. But I'm also not going to kill him. She needs treatment. She can't stay like this. Unpredictable. Unstable. To what end? We need him so that we can stay there. She will have to endure it for the time it takes. Isn't that what you've been doing. Toughening her up."

"What are you going to do if we both change? I had no choice. Because I know you. You would rather stand back and make your father decide. You will let her suffer?"

I hit him again. Louis laughed and grunted at the same time. I kept strolling down the path back to the house. 

***

Louis

I had to use the opportunity Juliet created to give myself the last dose of that formula, poison... Whatever. Before we went to the compound. Juliet had gotten it all in one shot. Where I was cautioned to stretch it out as far as I could. There would be no other time. I believed I had sufficiently rattled Marcus. So, I excused myself. I went to our dressing room and took out the little pouch that I kept hidden in a shoebox on my side.

I wasn't going into that place unless I could protect her… If he wouldn't do it. I would. At least had to try. I needed to be stronger, hoping it would have the same effect on me as it had on her. I locked the door and gave myself the shot. Threw away the tiny black tube. Usually, it was only a few seconds. 

That day on the roof, when Juliet had her first episode in ages, was the second time I could do it. Michael and I had planned it so carefully. That I would have something I could carry on me for the occasion. 

***

After my two-week sleep. After I put my mark on Juliet. Michael had come into my room at the embassy. I didn't know who he was until he stood next to my bed. Juliet's whole life flashed through his mind. All the things he witnessed. What happened with her and Michael on the farm when she woke up after her branding from Marcus. He showed me her and Chris. Years of her and Chris. How Michael thought Juliet really felt about everything and everyone. 

"Juliet is pregnant, Louis. And it's not yours." I was sickened to my core. All the time, I had hoped that she would not be. I had thought it would be her and me. Alone. When she asked me if I wanted her to have my babies that day in the car… It was one of the best moments of my life. Her wanting a family with me. I never thought Marcus would stay. I hated the situation. Jealous of not having her to myself. Marcus was already a part of our lives. Permanently and forever. Chris was at my house, and they were having a kid. I would've told her… After the branding, it would only be us. She had told me I got to decide.

Michaels's thoughts kept going, leading me down another path. 

Juliet wouldn't be able to carry Chris's baby. And that scared me more than all of us being together with her. There would be too many complications. She had only gotten pregnant because of Rodrigo. The baby was going to die. Juliet wouldn't be able to cope with that… losing a child… Then he showed me more of Rodrigo's zombies and what Juliet was turning into. The only way to save her. Stop the process and keep the baby was this. This one option… He gave me a solution, and I agreed immediately. 

He still didn't leave, though. His thoughts kept going about Chris and that he would leave. Never come back. The world would change, and Juliet was a ticking time bomb to Qadir… To Marcus's grandfather… They would come for her. Michael knew he wouldn't be there for her. If they didn't find out all that he had done… They would decommission him. He would have no power. No inside information. 

He offered me a choice... and I took it. He told me Liam was on his way to take me upstairs. Juliet was having her next spell at that very moment. I held out my arm, and he did it. We made an arrangement that he would do it. Change her treatment later when we were all upstairs. Michael showed me how closely the house was being monitored… There was no way we would let anyone find out. I needed to be discreet. Lie, do whatever I had to. He said they didn't know half of what was happening with the brandings. It had been thousands of years since the last vamps had even tried. They would use me as an excuse. 

***

It had been a whole year. Chris was gone. The baby was gone. Marcus would disappoint Juliet. I had no faith in him. Michael would fall away or even die. I had gotten what I wanted. But at what cost to Juliet. She blamed it on bad luck. She had told me that I was it. And what a failure I had been. What a disappointment all of us were. Four men couldn't make her happy. How did I think I could do it alone. Confident in my proposal. I hoped time would give me the opportunity to put it to rights. 

After giving myself the last dose, I walked outside to meet up with Marcus and the others, hoping I had a few minutes if I fought it. I sat on the steps leading down from the front door. Seemed like when anything happened, it was right there. 

***

Juliet

The world around me was that foggy white hue again. Everything had different colors, like infrared goggles, but dull and slow... My legs moved, and then my arms. My body walked forward. Like on the farm, I knew what I was doing but wasn't in control. I knew I couldn't get out of my invisible state like that. I didn't want to hurt anyone at the house. So, me like that. Invisible but turned. It was probably better for everyone. It had been two weeks. Michael still hadn't brought us the alien tech to control me. I didn't understand why. If it was just about who to give to. Anybody would be better than nobody. We had decided. Me and him. I feared something might have happened to him. 

I heard Ben long before I saw him come up the path I was on. My body sensed the threat and jumped into a tree. It was abrupt and decisive. Ben ran right past me. When he stopped and looked out over the valley, my body thought it was jumping down to challenge this new opponent. Silently, I stalked my prey. I tried to grab onto him. My hands went right through. My body was confused. I was relieved. If I could stay like that. Would Marcus go back to the compound? Would Louis tell him everything? Would Qadir still leave Miné alone? 

All he wanted was Marcus…

Ben had moved on. My body didn't really know what to do. So it kinda just shut down… Standing there. I was trying my best to get control of my newfound creature being. Nothing worked. My mom said that when a person got infected by a werewolf toxin, the person turned into an uncontrollable creature. That was what a full moon felt like. It was only that one night that they could bite and infect someone. The familiar tinge on my butt began burning. I had come to recognize when I was being forced to do something. Louis was pulling me back out. Or was it Marcus? I didn't think he would have the guts. Would it work, though?

***

Marcus

Ben had just come back from his first run. He said he couldn't see anything. It was getting later and later. Liam and Cindy had also returned from calling out to her. We thought that she had either changed or was still stuck. Or… she was just upset about losing Caleb. Louis came out to the house and sat down behind me. I joined him on the steps. "Louis, we have to bring her out." He didn't answer. 

It was quiet between us. It felt like the jabs Louis threw at me earlier meant more than he had said. That I was going to have to do it. I put my hand on his arm. For the most part, Chris and I had spent more time together than Louis and me. I was going to have to make an effort with my other half. His skin felt weird under my touch. It was leathery like Juliet's. From the corner of my eye, I peeked over at his arm. My heart started beating faster. I thought Juliet had surfaced again. Louis was affected because she wasn't invisible anymore. Louis's eyes turned to me. They were white and glossy like Juliet's when she dropped Caleb. I sucked in a breath. I stood up, walking backward away from him but keeping him in my sights. 

Liam and Cindy came through the door. I halted them when they spoke as they rounded the corner. They stopped in their tracks. Eyes darting at my point of gaze. Liam pulled Cindy in behind him. Louis was like that for a moment until his eyes returned to normal. He could speak again. He stared at the patches of leather that formed over his arms. 

"How are you feeling?" I asked nervously.

"Not bad, actually. My skin doesn't hurt as bad as Juliet's last time. I'm a little tired, though." Cindy came over to comfort him and helped him inside. 

"Liam, I'm going out to try and force Juliet out." 

His eyebrows raised. "Want me to come with you?"

"She will never forgive me if something happened to you." Take care of everything… I'll be back… I hope. Lock the doors. Don't let noise attract her."

How would I even know where to do it. She could've been anywhere by then. There was… A particular tree she loved. A little up the track into the mountain. I guessed that would be as good a place as any to start. It took me ten minutes to get there. By the time I did, my breathing was uneven. I haven't been scared a lot in my life. But that night, branding Juliet was one. The possibility that I could hurt her again was a close second. I didn't even understand how it worked or how Louis did it. Force her and magically make the tattoo glow… Manifesting, I balled my fists at my side. Trying to channel any authority I thought I had over her. But I didn't have any… I didn't want any… I wasn't going to be able to do it. 

"Julie… Please come out!" I pushed out the word. Desperate and softly. It was almost instant. She wasn't there. Then she stood in front of me. So close I could feel her breath on my skin. Her hand gripped my neck, squeezing. Juliet wasn't there. It was only a monster. She pushed me back and effortlessly lifted me onto the tree behind me. My feet dangling. I was going to have to get physical with her. I didn't want to. "Juliet, put me down," I croaked. Thinking my authority might work. It didn't. At first, I tried to open up her fingers around my neck. She was too strong and pulled off my hand with ease. I had never touched Juliet like that. When my arm hit the crook of her elbow to bend it. I had to yell and groan about doing it. She didn't flinch. Her fist came for my face. I dodged.

The crashing sound made the bark splinter. Everything I taught her came into play with muscle memory. Every jab and kick was countered. My every unpredictable move she knew before I even thought about it. She was like a machine that wouldn't stop. The first strong punch she got in hit me the same way Qadir had that day at the cages, full force. It sent me flying, sliding through the dirt and grass. A little better prepared. I had braced and was able to jump back up. How a tiny fist like that could knock a grown man around was above me… Guess we didn't have to worry about her and Qadir anymore. 

Slowly, she walked up to me. Strutting with purpose. I braced again. Her arm pulled back. I caught her fist in my hand, twisting her arm around until it was behind her back. I used the tree behind me to push her face forward into the ground, sitting on top of her. I quickly rolled, put my legs around her waist, and hooked my heels at her thighs, pulling her around and getting her arms in a choke. All I had to do was push up into her chin to get her knocked out. I was so close to her face, seeing her red and gasping for air. It wasn't how I wanted my legs wrapped around her the first time. That close and intimate. 

Wriggling, she started getting my hold to slacken. I threw my arm around her neck, securing that same hand in the fold of my other elbow so I didn't have to look at her. It took only a minute of struggling. She went limp in my arms. I released quickly and got off her, listening to her breathing. It was faint, but she was okay. I felt like crying. I haven't cried many times in my life. The last time was when I was twelve, two hundred… with Juliet, and the other day with Chris. Juliet made me more human. Leaning over her, I rubbed her cheek, begging her to be okay. I remember her leaning over me that day at the cages, touching my cheek, sobbing about seeing me like that.

I never wanted to cross that line with her. Scared that it would make it easier for me to hurt her… The next time, I pointed a finger at her smart mouth. Her sarcastic answers. The deviant attitude she wore so well. Her eyes fluttered open. Normal eyes. I breathed out the breath I was holding and wanted to get off her. She pulled me back on. "You should teach me how to get out of that one… And get someone into it." She croaked. She pushed my knees out from under me and made me lay flat on her, lifting her own legs into the air, wrapping around me, making me thrust down into her.

"Is everything about sex for you?" 

Her jaw quivered, and tears rolled down her temples. "Just when I lost my baby." 

F-. How could I forget about comforting her? I wished I had Louis's ability to know everything. To be there for her. I sat back. Crossed my legs and pulled her into my lap. "I'm so sorry, Julie!"

"I'm never going to see him again…" She started sobbing uncontrollably, gripping my clothes in her fists and burying her face in my neck.