He couldn't believe it.
He had spent a decade anticipating this moment, but, now that he finally had her before his eyes, he couldn't believe it. Yet who could blame him? A ghost from the past was standing before him.
No longer from the past, he reminded himself, but from the present. She is here. This is happening.
It did him no good in regaining his composure. If those thoughts had any kind of effect it was to make his condition even worse. His breathing was just as shaky as his legs. His head felt very light, as if full of air, as if it would burst like a balloon, as if he would fall unconscious, if he was careless.
He had to say something. He had to say something.
There were so many things he wanted to say to her. So many things he wanted to hear.
Desmond took a step forward finally, almost losing his balance in the process.
A step forward literally but not figuratively. His mouth opened and closed with nothing coming out of it. It was as if he couldn't gather enough air to speak... no, as if his throat refused to function as it should.
Knowing he couldn't say anything good. Yes, that's what it was all about. Anything that came from his lips seemed like a bad joke compared to the weight of this moment.
But, he couldn't sit still.
Desmond's chest was invaded by the darkest restlessness he had ever felt in life, and his eyes filled with tears in response.
He couldn't because what if she disappeared as easily as she had appeared?
What if she disappeared as she had that day, only this time she would never come back, believing that he had rejected her, that he didn't want her when she was all he longed for?
That line of thought was the only thing that gave him the strength to speak.
"Is it really you?" They weren't the best possible first words. However, it was something and.... needed to hear confirmation. Even though it was what his eyes were telling him, he needed to hear her voice confirming it.
He took another step just as wobbly as the first, or maybe even less. He felt like a child who was just beginning to learn to walk.
Desmond received no response.
Like a real ghost, she didn't move, didn't say anything and seemed like she could disappear at any second.
However, she was still there and had her gaze fixed on him.
"Are you... proud of me? This is what you wanted, isn't it? What you would have wanted for me if you had stayed with me? I've shed blood, sweat and tears for so long, believing that. And I'm right. I'm right. Aren't I?"
Desmond fell forward, was on all fours on the ground, millimeters away from literally eating dust.
"That's why you gave me this power. You saved me that day and a few days ago too, when all was lost." Desmond raised his head slowly to look at her, half fearing that she had indeed disappeared.
As he had said, the darkness was no obstacle for him. But he could do nothing against the tears shed.
They kept falling and he couldn't stop them.
To tell the truth, it was not that he wanted to do such a thing either, even if it was in his power.
There was no need to hide anything and pretend in front of her.
If he couldn't trust her, he couldn't trust anyone. Not even in himself.
Especially not in himself.
Desmond placed a hand over his heart, feeling the beats pounding in his chest almost painfully, his lips traced a smile.
"It must be so. My heart was shattered. The heart that now beats in my chest is yours, not mine. Just like the rest of my body. I belong to you since that day, it will do anything you ask of me, anything you want. I only want to ask you one thing. Stay with me."
Yes, that was all he wanted.
He had tirelessly thought about the reasons she might have had to save him, without finding the answer, of course, because he didn't even have a place to start.
But, at the moment of truth, he had discovered what really mattered to him.
Her reasons, whatever they were…
Even if she had had a selfish motive, nothing could change what she had done for him.
His devotion and love were unwavering.
From now on, he would put everything in her hands. He would travel the path she chose.
And, as he was lost in thought, she turned around, still saying nothing, and began to walk. To disappear into the night. As he had feared.
But why?
Why?
I've done everything you've wanted, haven't I? I'm everything you wanted, aren't I?
He shouldn't think like that. She had judged him. Regardless of the criteria used, her judgment was correct, it was he who should correct himself, not her.
Besides…
Now that he thought about it, he had an idea of why he had failed in her eyes. He should have known from the beginning. But he guessed he didn't want to accept it.
That day, she had said goodbye not with words but with a smile... and a sword that he saw beside him as he opened his eyes, conscious again. The sword she had bestowed upon him, that she had cared for and maintained, had been destroyed in the attack.
He had found it in pieces, among the dust, the blood, the rubble and the corpses.
From then on, though deep, deep down, he knew he had failed miserably.
He had a frighteningly vivid vision of his swinging body hanging from a tree branch.
No. It was too soon for such a thing.
He would really put everything in her hands.
"Please give me another chance," he begged, staggering behind her.
She kept walking. She didn't respond to him, verbally or physically.
She kept walking. She was walking instead of running, as if she had no intention of leaving him behind. Maybe he was daydreaming, clinging to whatever hope he could, even if it was imaginary.
But maybe not. Maybe what she intended was to guide him somewhere.
Show him something or... he couldn't tell. To get him out of here with her? Whatever it was, he would accept it. After all, it was what he wanted to believe.
He continued to walk behind her in silence, satisfied that she would give him an explanation when and if she saw fit. She wasn't leading him into the woods or out of the academy. It soon became apparent that she was circling the academy and its towers as if looking for something.
He was right about that too.
Desmond noticed that they weren't alone. In the darkness, a man and a woman.
But he was not contemplating the scene of a love affair or an attempted sexual assault. The man fell further, this time to the ground. Along with a thick stream of blood.
The man's fall revealed that his partner was holding a blood-stained knife.
That in itself was an eerie detail, but it wasn't too much. But he forgot about it completely because what was really important was that he couldn't see the woman's face. It was as if it was covered in shadows.
Only the shadows shouldn't pose a problem for him, so she was using some kind of magic.
His and the woman's gazes met.
A tense silence enveloped them for what seemed like minutes, but it was only seconds.
The woman came to a decision first.
She turned and ran in the opposite direction, instead of trying to eliminate the witness. Partly because there was no need, partly, perhaps, because she wasn't sure she could take him on, student or not, and she didn't want to try her luck.
His savior, who had been at his side up to that point, had also moved on, disappearing without a trace.
But she had left behind a clear message.
This was the second chance he had asked for. And he wasn't going to waste it.
That's why he didn't pull out the gun and shoot.
That's why he didn't pull out the gun to shoot her in the head or a leg, depending.
He wanted to stop her with his own hands.
As to whether to kill her or just incapacitate her, that was up in the air.
Not because he didn't quite know which would be the better option acting like a soldier serving his country, but because he had no way of knowing what she wanted from him in this situation. And those two things didn't have to be mutually exclusive.
But they could be, and clearly his duty to her was the one that took precedence.
No, that was his only duty.
He would have to make that decision quickly. This woman wasn't going to get away from him.
With his body coursing with explosive magical energy, he had reached a blinding speed.
Even if the woman used physical reinforcement magic she couldn't match his speed.
Therefore, her best trump card was to disappear with the help of magic, slowing him down or sending him somewhere else.
He just had to be careful with those things. In other words, he'd soon have her on the ground.
And he would rip off that mask of shadows.