Azriel was stunned when she heard the voice in her head. Her steps faltered and she almost slipped, falling against Ashdeer.
The voice spoke again, "Azrielllllllll........"
She felt a dread spread across her. It was not her imagination, there was a voice. It was stronger now.
"Azriellllll..mia kara...."
She stood up again, quietly walking a few steps away from Ashdeer. There was only one person who called her that- Ashmeer!
"Where are you?", she hissed into the void.
Ashdeer followed her with sure steps and said, "Azriel are you all right? You look very pale. Is all well?"
"Yes, yes of course..I just am feeling a little queasy after the ride. I need to walk about a bit. I hope you understand."
"All right," he said reluctantly, "But, you can't go too far Azriel. It's not safe at all. The fortress has many wards and this place is more vulnerable. While I'm here to ensure nothing happens, we can't stay for too long in this place. I'm standing here, and I understand you may need some space. Just...just be safe Azriel."
She smiled up at him, trying very hard to quell the storm in her heart. She took a few tentative steps across the slope, keeping her balance as she frantically tried to throw more of her thoughts in the void.
"Where are you Ashmeer? Where did you disappear?"
"I....miss you Azriel.....come to me....join me."
"But where are you?"
"Wait....wait for the girl who brings you the red rose...I must leave now."
There was dead silence. Azriel stood against a large pine tree, trying very hard to search for more of Ashmeer somewhere in her consciousness, but there was nothing but silence.
"Azriel...", she looked up in shock to see Ashdeer standing very close to her.
"Are you all right Azriel?"
"Ye,s yes of course I am."
"We need to leave Azriel. I can't risk us being out and exposed here for much longer. If they could send someone inside Fortress Irismus, then this forest is infinitely more hostile. Will you be all right to ride back?"
"For a moment, Azriel felt a pall. She knew Ashdeer was also trying his best to keep her safe from a largely unseen enemy. She had seen the wraiths and the havoc they could unleash. Yet, the thought of going back into the Fortress made her feel Claustrophobic and nauseous. She nodded sadly to Ashdeer and he said, "I know what you are going through right not Azriel, but I need for you to understand your own magic and your own power before you can get more freedom. I need you to be able to defend yourself without hurting yourself and others. Your magic is too powerful and you are still struggling with your transformation. Please....I ...."
"It's ok Ashdeer, it really is. Lets go back to the Fortress. I'm sorry, but being out here in the forest made me realize how much I'm missing of a normal life."
He held her in his arms, stroking her hair and her chin and said, "Azriel, marry me. Let me look after you in all ways I possibly can. Lets go and meet Ishatar and take her blessings for the union. I can make this work better. I can speeden up the grace period we have."
Azriel stiffened in his arms, "You wish to marry me?"
"Yes....Azriel, I do. I think it's going to be for the best, don't you think?"
She felt her heart twist. Of course, he wanted to dispense his duty towards her. Fulfill his promise to Andora, and also keep her here at Irismus, forever chained to him. Yet, a part of her was wondering what it might be like to marry someone like him. To feel his roughened hands on her naked skin, to burn with desire for him and to entwine her body with his. Ashmeer had left her with a taste of what was possible, but she had felt unfulfilled.
"Ashdeer, I....."
"I understand Azriel, I am not the husband you sought. But, life has ways of changing our plans. We can may have been dealt tough cards but lets make the most of it."
"Most of it, " she mused. After Layla, she was obviously a compromise. He would marry her to keep her safe and make the best of it as he had said. But, she didn't want that. She wanted more from him.
"I....Ashdeer, I need to go back to the Fortress, I don't feel too well. Please take me back."
Ashdeer sensed her sudden change of mood and helped her on her beast. They made the journey back in silence. As Azriel's mount moved towards the mountain cliff to make the jump back to the Fortress she heard the voice one more time, "Blood of my blood, my love bound to me by blood and skin..........wait for the girl with the red rose."
Her mind was a whirl of thoughts as they landed back and made their way to the rampart. Even the Erol's lurching movements could not distract her from the storm in her mind. Ashmeer was trying to reach her from across the Blight, and was trying to tell her something. Ashdeer was trying to cajole her into a marriage of convenience. Had anyone ever loved her? Ashmeer had used her to get his way to the Blight. Ashdeer might be a knight in shining armour, but really what did she know of him, except that what he told her.
Ashdeer sensed her change in mood as he helped her off the beast. He said, "Azriel....I meant what I said in the forest, I wish to marry you. I...."
"Duke Ashdeer, " she answered coldly. "I am not well, and would like to retire to my chamber for the rest of the day. I will of course be happy to discuss this with you another day."
"I'm never going to force you Azriel....I ...only want what's best for both of us. I ..."
"I'm still engaged to your brother, Duke Ashdeer, and the law dictates we must wait for a few more months before I can be betrothed to another."
"Dammit Azriel...do you really think the dark forces will let you live in peace in the rest of the few months? Let me marry you and bond you to me. I can protect you."
"I'm already paying the price of the blood bond with your brother, Duke...I need some time to deal with all this.", she said stiffly, making a bow and returning to her room only to fling herself on the bed and sob her heart out.