I said goodbye after I had another cup of tea, we chatted a little about just how loud and crazy the boys get around her compound sometimes she had to begged them to go over to friends; how terribly she missed phoenix. How Jake kept to himself more after the lost, they would just stay by each other for a while and Jake would retreat to his room. With that bag handle in my fist, the weight of it seemed to be added.
Peggy went off to friends and made me promise that I would take her with to more secret mission; I reached the cabin just as the sky was starting to bath in deep orange color on the horizon and the breeze became softer; just on the porch he seemed to have become the look out. I rolled my eyes as I looked pass him into the house and he walked in after me.
"I hope these helps me" I hurled the bag onto the kitchen table where Ruby was sited, making it jiggle a bit. Ruby remained unresponsive, "What do you think?"
"I had never tried a locator spell before" She said examining the bag filled with clothing, I knew that fact also as she was not a witch and could not have possibly practiced magic
"But you have a lot of witch knowledge"
she sighed and rolled her eyes, "Fine come with" she rose from her seat while I took the bag happily
"You can join too" She said towards Cassuis, who moved apathetically into the living room.
The procedure was the same as I tried just me and his belonging; I was wrong to think this was going to be simpler because of the environment.
"You have to stay focused" Ruby said yet again casually sipping from her medicinal tea while seated comfortably in the couch. I exhaled heavily; I had lost count of how many trails I had given already and it was getting to midnight; hungry and drained.
"I am trying to; I am close to getting it right"
"But you keep getting distracted" She pointed out, it was her relaxed attitude while she pushed me that was getting me more on edge or maybe it was because I didn't have dinner yet.
"It's not like I can help it. I can't keep them out of my head" I ranted throwing my hands up, my thigh muscles were cramping and I couldn't get it done.
"Or you don't want to," She glanced at me for just a moment before she got back to reading her heading less book. I closed my eyes for a moment before I opened them back up
"Can't I just do this in a chair?" I asked
"No" she answered simply
"Go on" she added.
I felt like she was just punishing me because I made a major decision without consulting her first.
"Gia, you need your strength for this," Cassuis had been out of this family drama for quite a while, he sounded gentle again. I looked towards him, beside him was laid my cold plate of ration, smoked meat and mashed potato.
"I can have it later" I said
"Yes sure. After all her powers don't need food; her body does. The weaker you get the harder it gets to perform the spell" Ruby chimed in and I knew she was telling me indirectly to eat something. I extended my hand to Cassuis and he gave me the plate, I started to eat.
"I know you are mad at me but the least you can do is not use that backward attitude on me" I said almost mouth full, I heard something whoosh in the air and I ducked instinctively; I looked behind and I saw she threw across a scroll at me.
"Don't talk with your mouth full" I felt heat arise inside of me, I felt ashamed for some reason. I ate silently from there on, right as I was on my last mussel she rose from her seat and started heading down the hall
"Where are you going?"
"An old woman needs her rest" she disappeared into her room
"You also need one" Cassuis stated taking a seat adjacent to me, crossed his legs and stare.
"I don't. I am not leaving this spot until I can find him" his demeanor didn't change, he rested his head on his knuckles before saying
"As you wish"
Failure came after failure; the angrier I got the more I was thrown off going to absolutely nowhere; stressed and exhausted, the morning call startled me from a quick slumber that snatched me not more than two minutes ago. I pushed the hair off my face and it seemed that I drooled a bit; I wiped the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand. I straightened up; my croaked neck stung a bit before I cracked it and looked down at the task in my hand. I took up the shirt I had seen him more than once in and brushed my fingers through it, sighing.
"It seemed you slept well" I was more startled; I forget he was there with me in the living room. I squeezed my eyes for a moment and turned towards him. He was in the exact same posture he was hours ago, his eyes crisp but he looked neither strained nor exhausted
"You didn't rest through the night?" it sounded more like a statement than a question. He pushed out of his seat, rested his hands over his knees and intertwined his fingers
"Vampires don't need to sleep," he smiled
"We only have one night left here and you are──"
"I know, but twenty hours or so is a lot of time" I said dedicated
The say was the same also with me trying harder on the spell and at the same time trying to convince ruby about the Paradlag. She dragged me into her room and shut the door
"You are still young and don't know about how unkind this can be for you"
"Neither is getting married to bear a baby for the only pure vampire around with bad intent, or worst whose target I'm not certain of"
"And you think having to give him the Paradlag was a better way to switch his bad intent? That thing will bring out the worst in him" gently I turned Ruby to face me, keeping my hands on her shoulder with a lot more softer tone I said,
"I do not want to force a choice on my child's life just like I was given,"
"My child" she cupped a side of my face with one hand and caress my check gently
"Whatever you fear will be a lot worse with the Paradlag in wrong hands neither can you prevent your children from the preordained truth of their existence"
She was right, the fear I have of a life like mine will forever follow the line of my linage no matter how I try to prevent it; they will all be celestial; they will be ridiculed for what their grandfather put upon the world, never to be accepted again. Truly speaking I know handing over something with so much power will most definitely be like killing millions with a flick of my wrists and the world will surely turn on its head. I'd doubt humanity will stand after that──or the human race will even survive.
It will be a never ending war, world of darkness will be burn by my hands, but if I give birth with the prince will I ever be able to remove him out of my life knowing I had a young with him? Will I be able to nurture that child and keep him away from harm's way when I am barely doing that for myself? Can I really be at peace with Jake when I don't have my child with me? Will I even be able to do that to Jake? Can I risk everything for this decision? Tears filled my eyes and I felt weak in the knees; I wearily walked to her bed and sat by the edge of it; chest tightened and it felt like the first day I was exposed to this life all over again. Finally I gave in to tears and not only my body but the bed quaked with me.
"I don't know what to do" Ruby sat beside me and rubbed in circles on my back I breathe
"If only I never left here in the first place. I should have listened to you"
"I'm sorry" I lunged myself into her soft body, buried my face in her chest and cried heavily. Urgently my mind needed Elisabeth's and James's presence because I was breaking down all over again; I needed them to say−"it's ok. We're here"−I needed their warmth.
"There is no need to reminisce in the past; this is a time you need to be stronger; to be a stinger to the foes and stand for what you are" she brushed through my hair carefully
"For Elisabeth and James──for what they know you are" I pushed out her body and looked into her gentle face through my glossy eyes.
"I need you to trust me like they would have"