Everything was quiet. With black hair that seemed to have drawn out darkness and a face resembling the moon, Abraxas' presence was overwhelming enough to dominate the world to which Demian belonged. But on the other hand, it was also blurry enough to naturally melt among the shadow of the candlelight.
Meeting God in person at such a close distance was like a miracle. But it did not matter to Demian, he would still act the same even if the being in front of him was not Abraxas, even if it was something more than that.
Back when Demian had followed Lara to the sanctum, Abraxas was in the form of a statue. When he looked at it, Demian felt uncomfortable and uneasy.
Hating such a strange feeling, Demian did not wait any longer. He suddenly asked questions.
"If you really are Lara's God, of course, you should know everything. What's the reason Paimon suddenly disappeared? Why can't I reach Lara?"
Abraxas was silent. God stood in the pale shadow of the moon, staring at Demian.
Demian felt worse and worse. If he could, he would grab Abraxas by the collar. But he did not. He had to raise his patience to the maximum level so that he would not disrespect the God who cared about Lara.
"You…"
When Demian once again opened his mouth to God, Abraxas walked out of the shadow. The hem of his long clothes scattered like fog before becoming shorter, the same went for his hair. His body had been energized, but it was unbreathing, unlike living people. His black hair swayed slightly on his forehead.
Blue eyes, a tall and slim body, and red lips that naturally twisted, giving the impression that he was mocking his opponent.
God was in the form of Demian. Two people who looked the same stood three or four steps away and faced each other. Demian closed his mouth, Abraxas stared at him still.
Was this the cause of the unidentified discomfort?
Demian learned the cause of the discomfort that was filling his heart.
Even their voices were the same. If anyone else was there, they would have struggled with the goosebumps that came upon their skin.
"Bullshit."
"Don't try to mislead me with nonsense. There's only one thing I'm curious about from you."
Demian gritted his teeth toward God, who was looking at him with the same face.
"Tell me what happened to Lara."
Abraxas realized that no words could persuade Demian. It was a matter of course. Since there was only Lara in Demian's world, he would not change his attitude or delay his priority even if Abraxas told him about the secrets of the world.
"Show what?"
Abraxas reached out to Demian. God's palm was no different from that of humans. While the movement attracted his attention, Demian's world turned upside down.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Lara was a lovely girl. Although she was misunderstood a lot because of her sharp tone, angry gaze, and unkind personality, in Demian's eyes, young Lara was the most lovely and frail child in the world.
She looked ten years old. Lara, who was short, had small hands, and did not know how to hide, stood wiggling her fingers in front of her scary father.
"Smile."
The young Marquess of Bailey put little Lara in front of the fireplace and asked her to practice her facial expression.
Lara thought that she had to do whatever her father told her to do. Unlike her busy mother, Marquess of Bailey spent a lot of time at home.
The pure Lara was brainwashed by Marquess of Bailey's daily mumbling.
'Isadora is actually nothing. You are my child so you have to follow me. I'm the only one who takes care of you.'
"Smile. Smile like a woman and act cute. At the same time, you must not lose your elegance. Be a woman with a calm behavior and attractive eyes."
Marquess of Bailey just said what he had to say, as if he was oblivious to the fact that Lara was still a young child.
"Father, I'm not having fun… so why do I have to smile?"
"Because only then will people feel like giving you anything."
"But I don't want it."
"Think of it as your duty."
Demian knew Marquess of Bailey was a bad noble and a bad father, but he was still angry. He watched Lara wriggling her small hands and sticking out her lips with a disgruntled face. She was lovely enough to die for.
Lara could not look straight at Marquess of Bailey. She was not an obedient child. She looked elsewhere so as to somehow not smile, or she would say that she had a sudden stomach ache and go back to her room.
That day, Marquess of Bailey eventually failed to make Lara practice her smile. Lara returned to her room and lay down in a blanket. She complained for a while about what she could not bear to say in front of her father. She had a diary with her name on it and it was written like a letter, it was full of longing for her mother and dissatisfaction with her father.
"You know? Does mother really not love me, just like what father said? Is that why she works outside every day and doesn't come back home? If I become a kind and pretty woman, will mother come back home and stay with me? Just as father said?"
Demian was annoyed by his situation of not being able to say anything to Lara. He wanted to let her know that she was wrong and that her mother loved her the most in the world.
Isadora was just busy. She was responsible for too many people. She did not know her husband, Marquess of Bailey, was such a trashy father.
Abraxas said that he would show Demian Lara's life. After having changed a lot of things after living two lives, what Demian was looking at now was Lara from her childhood; the only past that had not changed for her.
It was time to show her different past.
"Be the saintess."
After becoming an adult, Lara became a saintess as her father said. She did not hear God's voice nor did she receive any blessings from God, but when the Prince and the temple joined hands, it was a piece of cake to make a young noblewoman a fake saintess.
It was around this time that Lara began to commit the mistakes she regretted the most in her first life. He used Demian, banished the innocent Princess Sonnette, and sided with the corrupt temple together with Prince Sidhar.
Demian could not help but laugh at himself who was living and breathing in Lara's past.
He was crazy. Lara thought that Demian was a slave despite not actually being one. Nonetheless, he did not tell her the fact. Because he was afraid that Lara would let him go. He was afraid that she would tell him to go back to the Empire. He was afraid he would be worthless if he was not a slave.
Even then, he was already in love with Lara. It started from the moment their eyes met on the first day they met. Lara was like an irresistible force to him.
Her eyelashes wrinkled like a cat's whiskers, and underneath them were her wonderful eyes, resembling the bright sun. Her voice was like water while her breath was like fire.
Love was a disaster. In Lara's past, Demian Rhode Drake was a man who put those words into practice. It was his first love too, so he did not know what to do. He had no thoughts on rescuing Lara from Prince Sidhar's clutches and running away with her or talking to her and clearing up their accumulated misunderstandings.
He just did whatever Lara told him to do. If she told him to fight, he would fight. If she told him to kill, he would kill. If she told him to go, he would go. If she told him to come, he would come. He was just a slave.
The mighty warrior of the saintess. Even then, the only person who could move him was Lara.
"Why aren't you leaving?"
One day, Lara asked him. Even she, who asked the question, said it without much thought. When Demian saw her looking around with a surprised face to see if anyone had heard her, he was so angry.
"Because you didn't tell me to leave."
Lara looked at him with a poker face. By this time, it had been a while since she had lived as a fake saintess so she had become proficient in hiding her innermost thoughts.
Lara asked again.
"Is there anything you want from me?"
"There's no such thing."
He could not say anything like, 'I love you, so I want you to love me.' Because the Demian at that time thought Lara was in love with Prince Sidhar. He was just satisfied with his unrequited love. He would devote his time, ability, potential, and even life to Lara before dying. He thought that action was love.
That was the only love that he, who was born broken, could do.
It was the same even after leaving Lara. Demian settled in the lawless zone with his comrades and fought against demon worshippers.
He could choose not to fight with them. The Barbarians were not a friend of Hautean nor the Empire. Whether the demons appeared or not, they could just turn a blind eye to it. There was no reason for the Barbarians to deal with demon worshippers at the risk of their lives at the beginning of the war.
However, Demian fought nonstop in the middle of the battlefield. As long as he was still breathing and could move his limbs, he tried so hard to send even one more to hell. The Barbarians scorned him for being a madman, but they silently gripped their weapons when he said the woman he loved all his life was the saintess.
Saving the world was a piece of cake if it was for Lara, Demian thought so. It did not matter should his limbs be broken, should he be cut countless times, and even should his life be put at risk. Still, he did not stop fighting.
Demian realized that he was getting stronger and stronger. After a little more time, after driving the demon's forces out of Hautean and locking them in the lawless zone, he felt like he could protect her forever.
But Lara died. The woman he loved all his life died. Moreover, she died alone in a place he did not know, by things he did not know, and at a time when he did not know.
Demian lived isolated in the middle of the battlefield, he heard the news of the saintess long after it happened.
The demon who demanded the saintess as the sacrifice, the humans who supported the saintess to be a sacrifice, the Prince who willingly threw the saintess as the scapegoat, and he himself who did not know all this.
Demian heard something breaking into pieces in his body. The Barbarians slapped him on the cheek and shouted for him to get a grip. They wailed. They said to him that his actions would not bring the woman back into the land of the living. However, Demian felt that his mind was clearer than ever.
His broken heart led to his soul being set free. The causal link that had bound him up until now was broken. An exhilarating yet floating feeling came at the same time as the excruciating feeling of pain he felt from his trampled heart. He felt as if he was ascending to the sky.
A world without the woman he loved was of no value to him. If it was to recover Lara, it was nothing for him to destroy the world.
He would break the land into pieces so that no one could live there anymore.
Demian realized that he was crazy.