「Now, Brother, wake up. Let's prepare and go out. Come on, hey, come on, come on.」
「Nm, Mmm? Is it Mai? Wait for a bit, Brother is still sleepy… At least let me sleep until mister alarm clock permits…」
While I was violently shaken, I slightly opened one eye and saw that time was even earlier than the one we wake up for school.
「Oh, that won't do. Lazing like some pig will lead to the downgrade from hopeless brother to outright-garbage-brother. I would not want my beloved brother to turn that way. I want you to become a brother of one rank higher, the one that actually cares for his sister.」
「...」
「Brother that ignores his little sister gets this!」
「Hugyaa?! Ah, Ah, Ah, hegyyu.」
I let out a weird voice because of strongly pinched cheeks.
And just like that, like a caught fish I was dragged out of the bed and then released.
I unsightly lost my balance and plunged to the floor.
「Well then, Mai will go and dress up, Brother should prepare as well.」
「Yup.」
As Mai was leaving the room with light steps I followed her with my eyes until she was out of sight and then got up.
「…That was one weird dream.」
Contents of the dream, that I faintly remembered, made me feel bitterness in my mouth.
「Aaaah, it bugs me so hard, enough, ain't gonna think about anything today.」
The problem is, I'm was thinking way too much these days. To begin with, as if I can reach an answer by seriously thinking with my dumb head.
For this whole day, I am not going to think neither about that knife or about lost memories.
I'm going to completely empty my head and enjoy the date with my little sister. Such is my decision.
「『Brother, breakfast is ready』」
「I am coming!」
After answering to the voice the came from the lower floor I took off my sleepwear and put on clothes.
————————
「Whew… That was a good movie. Very touching.」
「Eh, for real? Touching? That movie?!」
A crowded and noisy city, my dear sister was wearing a one-piece with a cardigan on top of it, a beret and fake glasses. I was in my casual clothes with sunglasses and a cap.
It's the disguise for the times when we are going somewhere far away from the school.
I have spent last three hours, which felt like an eternity, watching a movie about a squirrel and a cat just messing around and was absolutely astonished by the impression that my little sister shared the very moment we left the building.
Eh, but that movie is really just a movie about a squirrel and a cat endlessly messing around.
There really was no story or shit, simply put, that is just home video deluxe edition.
Moreover, it's pointlessly long, three-hour epic. Just what were they trying to do?
「I think you must polish your sense for art more. That was a rare masterpiece.」
The face of my little sister saying that was completely serious and I could feel that she really meant it.
That's absolutely not the case, but even if I tell her that she won't admit it.
It didn't matter what clerk looked at us with almost a pity when we bought tickets or what no one else was watching the movie besides us. Yeah.
「Well, it's still early, wanna go someplace?」
「Pet shop let's go to a pet shop, Brother.」
「Yes, yes, as princess wills it.」
We pass through a block of urban building and head towards the shopping mall with a lot of tenants.
Today as well, we were holding hands and got from a people passing by reactions like『Such a cute couple』.
Yup, though we are siblings, I'm quite happy… Perhaps, I might actually be a siscon.
「Welcome.」
「Brother brother, here, there are squirrels, squirrels! Aah, and there are kittens.」
Mai was ecstatic after seeing the movie about her beloved cute animals.
She was trying to control herself, but her jolly behavior and the way she spoke showed, that she was unable to contain herself, which was extremely cute.
Yup, I really am a siscon.
「This little one was born in the previous month. Would you like to touch it?」
「I can?」
「Yes, please, pet it gently.」
Encouraged by the shop assistant, Mai happily holds the kitten.
「Brother, Brother, please look, it's so squishy and fluffy and fuzzy, it's too cute, what, what should I do, Brother?」
Yup, the kitten is one thing, but you are what should I do as well. Soo cute.
I don't care if I am siscon anymore.
For a while, I was admiring cute Mai, that was admiring small animals.
「Whew, I am satisfied. Kittens, pups, hamsters, squirrels…」
「I see, I see, that's good.」
「Brother let's check fancy goods store. Your little sister wants a plush toy.」
「Ah, Wa, Wait!」
My hand was grabbed once again and I was dragged into the cutely store, what a guy would find a bit hard to approach.
Inside it was crowded with couples and schoolgirls.
「Hm, Hmmm.」
It's not like I'm doing something bad, but for some reason, I feel guilty and unwelcome.
That must be that, since we are just siblings and not a real couple, I'm conscious of being a fake normie, so being in a place for true normies causes me pain.
「Brother, that is the face showing, that you are thinking about something strange?」
「? Mai? Muguh.」
When I turned around after my shoulder was patted from behind, I felt the sensation of a cloth filled with cotton on my cheek.
「Your sister knows, when Brother makes that face, he is worried about something stupid. You know the saying, dumb ideas are worse than none at all, Brother should only be thinking about Mai. Understood?」
「Ngu, ngu, mugugu.」
She was pressing the limbs of the plush sheep against my cheeks.
Suddenly Mai appeared from behind the stuffed toy.
Aah, what is this feeling of happiness?
What is this, isn't she just way too cute?
Yea, it's really is not my fault that I became a siscon. No mistake.
She played with hand puppets of a frog and a cow, tried various hair clips, aaah, I understand, this is what being a normie is like.
Siblings? No, no, that's even better. Right now I am a complete normie.
I mean I'm on a date with such a cute girl. She is my sister though. But that doesn't matter, right?
「Brother, there is one more store I would like to check out.」
「Oh yea, I will go anywhere with you.」
「That's great. Then, let's go in there together.」
「M? Which store do you, me… an… 」
『Lingerie Shop・A Cutie』
In the direction that Mai was pointing, was located a pink, sparkling, and shining store, that rejected males.
Light and happy feeling disappeared as if a filter was removed by an impact.
「Not happening.」
「Oh, what's wrong? Suddenly making such a serious face. Your face is not that great to begin with so you don't have to get so concerned, Brother. Now, let's go.」
「No, I am not going. Only a truly brave man can enter there. Or rather, why are you so naturally luring your brother into such dangerous places? What were planning to buy at that store together with your brother?」
「Lately, my breasts grew one size bigger, so I thought of purchasing another bra for sleeping.」
「Aaa, aaa, aaa.」
「So I thought I might as well choose something that would go along with your preferences.」
「I am pretending not to hear, so get the hint and give up?! Going against the rules isn't cool!」
「Brother, selfishness isn't good. You are going to turn into a bad brother.」
「Brother that tells little sister his preferences in underwear ain't just bad brother anymore, he is gonna be called sex offender at that point!!」
In the end, our argument continued until I persisted my way to victory.
I shouldn't have gone on a date with my little sister after all.
There I thought, that we should have properly named it a walk instead of a date. Over.
☆
「Your order is a drink bar, drink area is over there, please use it freely.」
In the family restaurant with well-working air conditioner I finally calmed down, poured myself a soda, and returned to my seat.
I was about to get sucked into the purgatory known as women lingerie shop, but barely was able to fight off my sister and thus able to escape.
She said she will come out in about an hour, so it became, that I had to carry all of the stuff, that we bought until now, like stuffed animals and accessories, and had to kill time somewhere.
「…Even so, one hour… That's quite long.」
I realize that it's nonsense to compare it with buying man's underwear but exactly what can take a whole hour.
「So freee, so boored..」
「Well well, as expected of a high school student. Such a magnificent display of thoughtless indulgence in what we, corporate warriors fighting on a daily basis, are longing for.」
「Ah, Kawakami-san, hello.」
Leaning on the table and drinking juice through the straw, I was approached by Kawakami-san in her suit mode.
A faint fragrance of sweet perfume somehow reminded me that Kawakami-san is indeed a woman.
「It's been around two months since we last met, are you here for some kind of an interview again?」
「Yeah, came for some pretty boring scoop on an idol. And I just found out that I wasted my time, since it was hoax, so I'm in a bit of bad mood. Therefore, why won't you treat me?」
Kawakami-san that sat in the opposite seat as if that was the most natural thing to do, pulled a smile of a capable woman and said an outrageously unreasonable thing.
「No, no, what is this absurd reasoning, you are an adult, don't try to sponge off a high school student.」
「Ah, Miss, one rib steak set with a large serving of rice!」
「She isn't listening… And even nonchalantly ordered the priciest item on the menu.」
She is as pushy as always.
Well, she didn't take back the thirty thousand yen that I borrowed from her when we first met, so I wasn't really against this.
「And, what are you doing at such a place?」
「Waiting until my sister is finished with shopping. So for almost an hour, I am an idler.」
「Date with your little sister? What a sad youth you are having.」
Those words stung deep.
「Shut up, you just don't understand. I am super normie. A winner in life. How can you say that I'm having a sad youth when I can have a date with such a cute little sister?」
「Eh? But she is your sister? She isn't your girlfriend or anything, right?」
「...」
The woman before me easily shreds my bluff into pieces and keept stabbing me right into the heart.
Enough, this person, I hate her.
「Well, fine. By the way, how is your memory? Did you recall anything?」
「…I did not recall anything. Unfortunately for Kawakami-san.」
「Huh? Are you mad at something?」
「I'm not mad. …I just temporarily put on hold all recalling activities.」
「Huh? Mm? …What does that mean?」
With a fingertip, I drop a condensate from the cup onto a crumpled paper bag, in which came the straw.
「…To be honest I thought that I perhaps I don't have to recall anything. I don't think that anything would change even if I were to remember something.」
While I was watching the paper wiggling around, those complains came out a lot more naturally than I expected.
When I said it out loud, it suddenly dawned on me『Aaah, so that's what I actually think』
I'm trying to find various excuses, but I'm just afraid of remembering.
While thinking that I should do it for Yuuto or for detectives or for resolution of those incidents, but in the end, I was afraid of the stranger inside me.
「More importantly, I want to entertain my sister at the moment. She suddenly became all alone and most likely had a very bitter time during this year. And as I finally came back she became a bit emotionally unstable. My own affairs can wait.」
Nonetheless, those words also were true.
Right now, Mai has only me. For me, Mai holds priority over everything.
「Hmm, is that so? But in that case, isn't it all the more reason to work on your memory? 」
「? Why is that?」
「Well, isn't that so? If she is emotionally unstable then wouldn't she worry even more having beside her a big brother carrying a time bomb called amnesia?」
「...…」
Her words left me speechless.
「Furthermore, you are her only blood relative, right? And you already disappeared once, with this matter being still unclear it is not strange to worry on when will you disappear again.」
「Eh, no, that's, eh?」
「I don't know if anything would change with your memories coming back but『I'm not going to recall』isn't an attitude you should be taking?」
「...」
As I was unable to reply anything, Kawakami-san continued as if she sensed something.
「…Well, your case is a special one, but you know, people that experienced a long term memory loss seemed to ponder about it a lot, yet when they manage to regain memories it's often pretty trivial.」
「…Is that, so.」
「Surely there are a lot of troubles, but do your best, big brother.」
A waitress brought Kawakami-san's order.
「Thank you for waiting. Here are rib steak and large rice.」
「Today as well let's do our best aiming for a scoop, Kumiko-chan!♪」
Faced with the sizzling meat on the iron plate in front of her, Kawakami-san said that while making a triumphant pose raising both of her hands and completely throwing away all the serious mood.
A second later I remember that『Kumiko』was the first name of Kawakami-san.
「Uuhm, this, this, this is what I wanted to eat after all. Something that makes an impact on the stomach.」
Watching her cut the meat and put it into the mouth with great relish, all I could do was keep quiet.
☆
After that, Kawakami-san consumed ordered food and left leaving only a few parting words.
Shortly after, I rejoined with Mai and since it was getting late we started to head home.
Rattled by the train, by the time we passed through a ticket gate, surroundings were dyed in red by the sun, that already was quite low.
Holding hands, we were walking together on a path illuminated by a red sun.
『Wouldn't she worry even more?』
『Do your best, big brother.』
I was ruminating on my short conversation with Kawakami-san.
（Mai looked dependent on me only because she was worried about me…?）
I'm certain that Mai's mind grew unstable.
However, what if that instability leaning towards dependence, was the result of the fear that I might disappear again.
「Brother? Is something wrong?」
「M? Ah, no, I was just thinking about something.」
I stare at the little sister walking next to me.
Hand in my grasp was as warm as always but it felt very cold.
「…Brother, you couldn't get a change of pace today?」
「Mm? Change of pace?」
「Lately Brother is a bit strange. Are you reluctant about regaining your memories?」
「!!! Why…」
I gasp in surprise.
「Mai cares very very deeply for her brother. I can see that you always look a little depressed when you come back from the hospital and that you act apologetic towards Yuuto-san.」
Stopping, Mai looked at me worried.
「Brother, if you don't want to remember, I think it's fine not to force yourself… No matter what others say Mai is on your side. Mai does not want Brother to get hurt. Memories associated with such injuries must be awful. Matters related to the incident should be left to the police. There is no need for Brother to overextend yourself.」
「...」
She saw right through me. Moreover, on top of seeing right through me, she even consoled me.
And Mai's grip on my hand got stronger.
「Brother is together with me. When you are with Mai you should smile as you always did, think about stupid things and get scolded by me. That alone is enough.」
Such Mai looked far more likely to disappear than me.
「…Sorry, I made you worry.」
（Shit, having my hands full with Mai? What a nice delusion.）
Made wrong conclusions on my own and then used them to run away from the unpleasant thing, how disgusting.
Aaah, just how spineless I acted. I'm so embarrassed.
「But it's okay, I'm gonna be fine. Because no matter what, you always gonna be by my side.」
That's right, if I can't do it, then what kind of a brother I am.
I once again face forward.
What scary is still scary but…
I'm really scared of accepting that me, but…
『You will end up losing something important again.』
I suddenly remember the dream I saw this morning.
（…Is this the time to be afraid? Isn't this where I should show my will?）
Tomorrow, let's once again start the day from trying to regain memories.
After recalling everything and coming to terms with the other me, I will get rid of my anxiety. I will close the case and tell Mai that I will never disappear again.
About that bloodstained knife as well, I should face it without running away.
I have to put an end to all of it, so we can walk forward.
At that time, I truly had faith in such misled determination.