–『Who do you want to kill?』
That was the first question I was asked by Goshujin-sama.
Even though I was nearly broken, I could at least understand that these were not the words that were supposed to be said when speaking to a slave for the first time.
That was why I looked not into this『human's』, but this『person's』eyes.
In those eyes, I saw a thick impurity that seemed as if it had been rotting in the depths of some dark mud, and a red-hot fire that might inflict burns that would never heal.
By instinct rather than reason, I thought that he was the same as me.
–『Who do you want to take revenge on?』
And so I answered the second question that he asked me.
I answered that I wanted to take revenge on those directly involved in making my mother and I suffer.
『Isn't it obvious? It might be possible to think of a more enjoyable revenge with two people rather than one, am I wrong? With more people, more effort can be put into making the enemy suffer, breaking them and crushing them, right? If you just want to kill them, you won't be of any use in my revenge and I have no need for you. But you aren't like that, are you? What do you say?』
TLN: This line appeared in chapter 15. Daily's version of this line is as follows:
「Isn't it already decided? Rather than alone, wouldn't revenge be much more fun if you shared it with another person? Even if the number of people increases so much, to be able to torment, break, and destroy so many, would it really take up so much of your time? However, I have no need of someone who just wants to kill and not truly seek revenge… You aren't like that though, right?」
My version should be more accurate to what the raw says and makes a bit more sense in English.
Though his goal may have been for our interests to align, his words did indeed save me.
As if pouring water onto my desire for revenge that I could barely hold onto, he gave my almost-broken heart strength and nourishment.
In my heart that only had a burning greed for vengeance remaining, one new emotion grew. One more desire was born.
I want him, I want to be near him, I want to be of use to him.
I want to feel him, I want to be together with him, I want to make him mine.
I'm sure I have fallen in love with him.
Ah, I think I understand Lucia's feelings a little now. Of course, I'm sure my feelings are much, much stronger than those of that f.u.c.king b.i.t.c.h, so only a little.
Even these feelings become fuel for my revenge.
I'm sure that knowing these feelings will be useful for when I tear that woman's heart to shreds.
Ten days pa.s.sed since I met Goshujin-sama.
We entered the Dungeon and Goshujin-sama engraved into my mind once more just how amazing he is. Even though he is only level 1, he is definitely stronger than me.
The abilities he displays are clearly beyond what his stats suggest that he is capable of.
According to Goshujin-sama, there are stats that are not displayed on the Status Board in this world and there are differences in those hidden stats.
I have become able to consciously think about how to conduct myself on the battlefield and how I wield my sword, but it is not going well. I have to be more diligent from now on.
「Nnh…」(Kaito)
「Oh dear. I almost let this precious chance go to waste.」(Minnalis)
I finish the task of filling the chamber with poison that Goshujin-sama entrusted me with. Goshujin-sama is sleeping with his back against the wall, but I lay him horizontally so that he is using my lap as a pillow.
As I run my fingers through Goshujin-sama's hair, I think about my non-battle-related problem.
The only flaming desire I have other than my desire for revenge.
As regrettable as it is, it seems that it will take some time for Goshujin-sama to become mine.
Fortunately, it seems that he is not completely oblivious to my charm as a woman. On the regular occasions where I pretend to be manintoxicated, his gaze shifts to certain places.
My lips, my chest, my bottom, my legs and the area around the base of my legs.
He has come to not be so obvious with his eyes in our everyday interactions, but if I pay attention, I become surprisingly aware of that kind of conscious gaze even when he is being more inconspicuous.
… Every time this happens, I feel like breaking into a smile, so concealing my thoughts has been quite difficult.
With that said, this is a bad time to tell him about my feelings. The shadow of the Demon Lord, a girl named Leticia whom he apparently met during his first time through this world, still resides within Goshujin-sama.
She is someone who held onto Goshujin-sama for his worth as a person, just as Goshujin-sama did for me.
If I put together the pieces of the memories that I received when we signed that contract of vengeance, she is likely Goshujin-sama's loved one.
However, this is his second time through this world and Goshujin-sama has no relation to that girl at all.
I don't have to ask Goshujin-sama to know that he will likely not invite that girl to join him for his vengeance.
So one day in the near future, Goshujin-sama will lay the illusion of Leticia, the Demon Lord girl, to rest.
When that time comes, it would be troubling if he were to reach some strange enlightenment and decide that he does not need another woman. That is why I cannot approach him conspicuously as a woman right now.
If he rejects another woman once, even after he has settled things with the woman in his past, that woman might end up forcefully rejected forever. I once heard a similar story from some adventurers who were visiting my village.
That is why Goshujin-sama's relationship with the Demon Lord girl must become a thing of the past and he must accept the new reality of this time. And I must slip into his heart the moment that happens. Until then, I must be careful to avoid doing anything that would cause him to reject me.
With the excuse of mana intoxication as my shield, little by little, I will whittle away his resistance to those kinds of behaviors and the walls around his heart while waiting for that moment.
And so I must remain composed in times when nothing is happening, while showing Goshujin-sama my womanly side as if embarra.s.sed by the actions that I carry out under the effects of mana intoxication.
I will pretend that those actions are not my real intentions, so that Goshujin-sama will think that it cannot be helped and be unable to reject me from his heart.
「Goshujin-sama's hair, I have obtained another treasure~♪」(Minnalis)
Carefully the hair that came out when I was running my fingers through it, I place it into the round pouch of the[Round Squirrel's Pouch Sword.]
Because Goshujin-sama shared this power with me, I am able to gather a collection that is secret even from him.
This is currently the ace of my collection.
「Ah, this is… kufufu, as always, it is delicious.」(Minnalis)
The object I am running my tongue up the side of is a wooden spoon that Goshujin-sama used before.
Ah, it was definitely worth the effort that I took to obtain this~♪
「Oh dear, it seems that I really have used up too much MP.」(Minnalis)
Acts like this in particular must definitely never be seen. This would expose my desires as a woman. If he sees me like this, he will definitely be more cautious around me.
Most importantly, I must not show him this because it would be embarra.s.sing and I cannot deny that it is a little pervert-like. If Goshujin-sama saw this and began to hate me… I feel afraid just thinking about it.
「Nnh…」(Kaito)
I put the wooden spoon away. The time that I spent looking at Goshujin-sama's face has pa.s.sed quickly. However, it seems that he was having some kind of nightmare.
I wanted him to experience the softness of my legs a little more, but I shall leave it here for today.
I can blame mana intoxication for letting him use my lap as a pillow, so there will be no problems.
I will hide this fire that is separate from my desire for revenge behind an illusion while slowly planting my roots in the openings of his heart like a poison taking hold of its victim, and then when the time comes, I will have the flower bloom straight away.
I will enclose him so that there is nowhere for him to run. I will close the gate on him the moment Leticia leaves Goshujin-sama's heart.
Until that day comes, I will comfort myself and endure by gathering things for my collection whenever there is a chance.
I will definitely never allow you to escape, you know? Goshujin-sama.
Not during our journey to achieve revenge or after it.
Not until I can see myself reflected in your eyes.
Kufu, kufufufu~♪
Volume 1 Ending Character Statuses TLN: These things are in fancy tables in the raw but I don't know how to make that work on our site without a lot of effort and I don't want to f.u.c.k things up for people reading on mobile devices so I've just rearranged everything into lists. Also, some things might be slightly different from Daily's previous translations but hopefully any adjustments are mostly obvious/self-explanatory.
Also, thanks to Daily for providing me with his group's translation of this section, which I used as a base.
Ukei Kaito
HP: 645/645 MP: 420/420 (442） Level: 1 Strength: 224 Stamina: 364 Endurance: 545 Agility: 587 Magic Power: 137 Magic Resistance: 547 Inherent Abilities:「Spirit Sword ▽」「Language Comprehension」 Skills: 『Punch Lv1』 『Tracking Lv2』 『Conceal Presence Lv3』 『Night Vision Lv3』 『Swordsmanship Lv4』 『Sky Walk Lv3』 『Haste Lv3』 『Thought Acceleration Lv2』 『Physical Manipulation Lv3』 『Magic Manipulation Lv3』 『Meditation Lv2』 『Magical Overpower Lv2』 『Presence Detection Lv2』 『Stealing Lv3』 『Vision Enhancement Lv2』 Status: Healthy
Ukei Kaito
Hidden Stats: Technique: SSS Thought Processing Speed: SS Body Recovery Speed: F Status: Healthy Magic Apt.i.tude: Fire Apt.i.tude: 0 Light Apt.i.tude: 0 Water Apt.i.tude: 0 Darkness Apt.i.tude: 0 Wind Apt.i.tude: 0 Non-elemental Apt.i.tude: 0 Earth Apt.i.tude: 0 Extrelemental Apt.i.tude: 0 Acquired t.i.tles: Otherworlder Hero Bearer of the Soul Swords Swift Champion Indestructible Guardian Slayer of the Demon Lord Enemy of the World Master of Techniques Fugitive The One who has Sworn Vengeance Lord of Avengers Dungeon Clearer
Acquired and Unlocked Soul Swords
[Soul Sword of the Beginning] [Fire Spider's Leg Sword] [Verdant Green Crystal Sword] [Hook-Blade of Magical Repair] [Holy Sword of Vengeance] [Eight-eyed Transparent Tome Sword] [Water Fairy's Droplet Blade] [Round Squirrel's Pouch Sword] [Sword of Demonic Beast Eggs] [Slave Driver's Whip Sword] [Herb Insect's Wing Sword]
Minnalis
HP: 816/816 MP: 798/798 Level: 72 Strength: 783 Stamina: 643 Endurance: 544 Agility: 988 Magic Power: 899 Magic Resistance: 612 Inherent Abilities:『Poison Demon of Phantom Flames』 Skills: 『Illusion Magic Lv3』 『Poison Magic Lv3』 『Pain Resistance Lv2』 『Harvesting Lv2』 『Presence Detection Lv4』 『Conceal Presence Lv5』 『Stealing Lv3』 『Night Vision Lv3』 『Swordsmanship Lv2』 『Meditation Lv1』 『Tracking Lv3』 『Audacity Lv1』 『Vision Enhancement Lv2』 『Hearing Enhancement Lv2』 『Smell Enhancement Lv2』 『Taste Enhancement Lv1』 Status: Healthy
Minnalis
Hidden Stats: Technique: E- Thought Processing Speed: E Body Recovery Speed: D+ Status: Healthy Magical Apt.i.tude: Fire Apt.i.tude: 20 Light Apt.i.tude: 89 Water Apt.i.tude: 61 Darkness Apt.i.tude: 85 Wind Apt.i.tude: 22 Non-elemental Apt.i.tude: 38 Earth-elemental Apt.i.tude: 11 Extrelemental Apt.i.tude: 118 Acquired t.i.tles: Subordinate Avenger Owner of the Poison Demon of Phantom Flames One with a New Life Prologue TLN: This part is narrated in a polite/formal tone, and if I had to guess, probably by a female character (though it might not be). I thought it was Princess Alesia at first since the tone is quite similar to hers, but it seems that's probably not the case (judging from the contents of this section and also the p.r.o.noun used here is different from the one she uses.) I'm leaving this information here since I can't really convey this through the translation alone.
I think that it must be a very happy thing to live one's life while being fooled until its last moment.
If one stays happy and thinks life is happy without ever being aware of the dark side of it, things will come to a happy conclusion.
A happy ending, just like in the world of fairy tales.
Because people who die have no way of knowing about how the story continues afterwards.
That's why –
… However.
Despite that, I feel glad that I am able to know what happens next.
Inside the earth where the ground's surface has collapsed, I am still alive.
Ah, in the end, I suppose I do not mind either way.
It was simply only that kind of story, right from the beginning.
Whether I am a human or a monster, whether I change or do not change –
The pieces of my broken heart are screaming at me to do it anyway.
The happiness I can never get back, the irrational things that happened.
My dignity that was robbed from me, the depths of the h.e.l.l that I was cast into.
Even so, I still have time to compensate for those with broken laughter.
That is why I will still laugh at the world with the cracked, crumbled heart that I am barely holding together; that is why I took that hand.
… Even if this is the path of a demon that I am walking on.