The sound of the alarm clock woke me from my sleep, the surprise caused my eyelids to flip open in response.
Yet the moment I opened my eyes, the stinging pain immediately hit my dry pupils, causing me to close them back shortly after.
Not bothering to open my eyes again, my hands reached for the usual place, to the side of my bed where the alarm clock is usually placed. It didn't take long for my fingers to feel its target, before I pushed with all my might.
Almost instantly, peace was returned to my ears, no longer am I bothered by that rude ringing echoing throughout my room to disturb my sleep, even though I was the one who set it up in the first place, so I guess the alarm clock isn't guilty.
I sighed as I realized this and pulled my torso upwards, sitting up on my bed with my eyes still closed.
...
I'm so tired.
Those were the only words that I can come up with at the moment.
Letting out a sigh, I pinched my fingers on the ridge of my nose, hoping that massaging it might just make all of my problems magically go away.
I'm just so, so tired.
Not only physically, but also mentally.
Ugh.
I hate this.
Why must it be me?
Sometimes I'm just so tired.
So tired, of life.
Maybe I should just di-
Just then, a loud bang snapped me out of my thoughts. I opened my eyes only to have my eyelids shut on me out of instinct again, not only because my eyes are still dry, but also due to the light shining in from the corridor through my room door.
"Ayo, morning Ed, heard your alarm stopped ringing from outside and decided to check on you, you good?" It was the voice of a male, most likely someone standing in front of the door right now.
"Yeah, yeah, don't worry Nick, I'm just... you know." It was my older brother Nick, he always come over to check on me every morning in case I fall asleep.
I took a deep breath, and opened my eyes slowly, letting it adapt to the brightness. Looking at the door, I can see a young adult leaning on the doorframe with one hand while the other supporting the door.
Forcing a smile on my tired face, I reassured him. "Don't worry, I can get up. Thanks, bro."
"Alright, breakfast's ready for you as well." With those words, he went off. Leaving my door wide open, the light showering through to my dark bedroom.
After sitting a couple of seconds more, I sighed and got off of bed. Walking off as I rubbed whatever this is that always form on my eyes whenever I sleep. Actually, I know they're supposed to be dried tears but they really an official name, or maybe they have one that I am unaware of.
I took a turn as soon as I exited my room, and headed for the toilet. I started my morning routine of releasing my bladder, and began brushing my teeth.
It didn't take long for me to be done with them, and as I closed the mirror after putting my toothbrush back in the cabinet behind it. I couldn't help but stare at myself in the mirror.
I look terrible.
The bed hair aside, the two large bags under my eyes look like an absolute nuisance, not to mention my eyelids that seems to just be draped on top of my iris. My skin was pale and my eyes look dead.
How did I become like this? I wondered to myself as I couldn't help but let out a wry smile. Looking even more pathetic as I do so.
And according to my brother I'm supposed to be the better looking of the two of us. Though I do wonder how much of it was true, maybe he was just trying to cheer me up. It's what he always do after all.
Walking down the corridor, then down the stairs, I navigated my way to the kitchen. And I was immediately greet by two familiar faces.
"Morning, Grandma." I said as I casually sat down on my usual seat. Seems like salad's on today's menu, it's what was served on my table after all. Was hoping it would be Mac and cheese, but I'm not complaining.
"Good morning, Edmond. Just one sec okay? I'm just starting to cook your omelette." Grandma said as she started supplying mana to the stove with her hand, and flames came to life as she flicked the lighter.
"Take your time." I took a spoonful of salad and stuffed it in to my mouth.
"So how are you?" That was when the other familiar face spoke up. Which is the person currently sitting beside me on the kitchen counter, who is also the same person who was at my doorstep.
"Well, how good can I be." I simply said after swallowing, finding his question stupid. "You know very well how I am." And yet I replied half-jokingly.
"Edmond, you shouldn't talk to your older brother like that." Grandma scolded upon hearing my sentence.
"Sorry."
"Aww come on. So much negativity in the morning already? And I thought you're supposed to be happy that exam is finally over." Nick gently pat my back, in hopes of lightening my mood.
"I'm just kidding, Nick. Besides, I just woke up and my brain can't work properly. I'll sleep at school later, there are no more lessons after the final exam and I'm just there for attendance anyway."
"Oh yeah, about that." Nick's eyes wandered around the room for a while, seemingly unsure what to said. "I uhh, kind of signed you up for the camping trip."
My eyes widened and the fog in my head cleared almost immediately. "You WHAT?!"
"Come on, it's going to be fun. Besides, Mr. Zheng did say that it's better to do something different than to repeat the same routine over and over, right?"
"Oh my god Mr. Zheng! Really? He even talked to you?" Mr. Zheng is one of our school's counseling teachers, and he was assigned to be in charge of me. So it is only natural for him to advice my brother, who is my only family member in school, about me. But I can't help but feel annoyed at his attempts to help me.
"Hey, don't be mad. I was the one who asked him about you, so don't blame this on him."
"...It's too late for me to say no, right?"
"Yep." Nick smiled as if he knew he already won.
I sighed, and just stared at him in silence. But it wasn't long until I broke the silence again. "How did you know?"
"I saw your filled-up registration form when putting out the trash two months ago."
Once again, I sighed in absolute defeat. "Yeah, I wanted to go. It's just..."
"Who do you think I am, your older brother, of course I knew you'd think like that." He interrupted, probably knowing whatever words would come out of my mouth is going to be negative.
But... can I really go?
I closed my eyes and the bad memories of school continue to flood my mind.