My mother was very angry of dropping a year again as my mother main earner of the house.
when my grandparents heared about this they were very angry as girl should be married early, going out means a girl will run off and slandering the family reputation.
My cousin pallavi as she is 1 year older than me which was about to marry in a year when heard this she became very angry and said" Crow wants to became a swan, ha."
If it was before I would have became angry and even trying to self reflect, but now I want to live for myself. It may be bit selfish but I want to selfish..I want to achieve my dream and become a successful doctor. I want to prove my family a girl can be much more than simple housewife who's they value as free slave.
I will carve a path for myself.
My brother pratik came to me and said" big sis, don't worry and you should do what you want. "
After week of convincing mother that I will attend college only if I get scholarship, then only I able to go to tuition in the city.
Father came with me for first time as it was always mother alone when ever school asked for parents meeting. I know my parents prefer my brother more they always fulfilled his each and every tantrum I was sad before but not now...
if they don't love me. I will love myself. i thought have I gone crazy...whatever it may I feel my life have something I should live for.
I came to tuition as my teacher also trying to convince me not to drop again as it's very difficult for an already dropped a year person to get in medical college.
I didn't listen and asked my father for fee submission and we left the tuition administrative office.
Then we searched for a nearby hostel as I already brought my belongings for staying in hostel.
We search for one hour we found a good girls hostel with canteen which supply food to the hostel student. My father discussed with hostel manager and paid 6 months hostel fee in advance as we check the room they are very neat with wardrobe, a bed, a study table and chair, and having 2 people accommodation in one room.
The tuition building was just ten minutes walk.
After settling down my father called me and said" Study well, and you don't have to worry about anything."
Then he gave me small cellphone and said "Call me if you need something, you don't have come home for a year after your entrance exam you have to be comeback home. The man you going get married has been chosen so after your entrance exam you will be engaged to him."
If it's was before I would very happy for my father acceptance, but know I feel nothing but calm.
Even though I had resentment but know I feel little gratitude toward father as a chance given to me.
I didn't feel ounce of longing as I see my father left only felt a relief from pain as I would not have to hear my family's daily criticism and scoffing of my dark-skin.
Now also I don't feel beautiful but my heart is happy and at peace.
As I unpacked and ready myself for future started making study plan for my next year entrance exam, In which no matter what I have to secure good medical college seat with scholarship.
As about the engagement I could do nothing right now, so just forget it and study hard for year if I got selected I can delay my marriage little more for atleast 4 years.
This is going to be hard, but my heart filled with hope for bright future.