*Note if you read ch40-42 prior to ch43 release, please note the previous chapters were updated. No major main story changes, just rewritten in first person view. *
I was hot. Burning. Not just drenched in sweat but dying of thirst as well. There was also a huge weight on me preventing me from moving. Trying to put my thoughts together of where I was I started to wriggle free. At least I tried. Soon my anger and fear took over and I slammed whatever moving body part I could into the brick wall holding me down. "Get off!! Let me go!" The wall moved at those words and I jumped away. Where and who? Panicked for being in a bed with someone, I ran over to the farthest part of the room and watched the man sit up in the bed.
Where the fuck was I? The last thing I remembered was being in the caged room. A quick scan of the room told me there were no cameras. The door was on the opposite side of the room and currently the other man in the room was between me and that door. I growled.
"Easy Kash. You're safe. Take deep breaths. You got this." My whole body shook as the man spoke and released a familiar scent. "That's it. Deep breaths."
I sank to the floor in tears as it slowly came back to me. I was home. I was safe. And I forgot. "I'm sorry Atlas…I'm sorry." It was all I could do. Apologising for forgetting him once more, when I was already safe. "I didn't mean to."
Slowly Atlas walked over to me. "It's okay Kash. Take your time." He had already gathered me into his arms and held me tight. I could feel him shiver while trying to hold his own tears in. "We have time."
We did have time, but I lost so much of it already sleeping. Instead of chatting and catching up and enjoying my time with him, I slept. What if I always woke up and forgot over and over again. Then I would have missed even more time.
Atlas's pheromones were exactly the right level of comfort I needed and helped me see much more clearly. Why I needed him so much more than usual right now, I was not sure. All that mattered was that he was here and that I kept remembering. "Thanks. I'm good now." I had to hold back a whine when he pulled away. "I must have been half asleep and I panicked. Nothing to worry about."
Ignoring a direct look at Atlas who seemed to be able to read my thoughts I grabbed a change of clothing. "I'm gonna shower." My choice was to avoid and hope he forgets. At least that was my plan as I ran into the bathroom.
The water was nice and hot, allowing my tense muscles to relax and to think things through. It was not me being half asleep. There was a moment, no matter how brief, I honestly forgot. Thank the Moon Goddess his scent could trigger my memories back. I just can't always rely on it though. I needed a way to keep my memories and not worry Atlas at the same time.
The shower felt short, but I knew it was long enough to worry Atlas. There was no final decision for how to handle my memories. For now I had to do my best not to react. I slapped my head to my forehead. "Yeah like that will work dumbass."
"Kash? Are you okay? I came to check up on you, it's been a little while." Atlas's voice was full of concern as it came through the door.
"Okay, I got this." Speaking not much louder than a whisper before I went head on to face my biggest challenge. "I'm fine. Just uh…enjoyed the hot water." Great even to me that sounded lame.
"Sure. Breakfast has arrived." His voice sounded as though it was walking from the door.
That still did not make me less angry. I slammed the bathroom door wide open, forgetting I was still only in a shirt and underwear. "You said no one could come up here! You lie about that too?"
Atlas froze when he looked at me. Still, I was so angry my lack of clothing did not hit me. "Kash?"
"Don't you Kash me! You swore no one could come here. You said I was safe. Now I know that you allowed someone in our nest. Or is it that you don't want or need me here? Cause I can sure as hell go to the other room." My whole body was vibrating with anger.Atlas walked towards me with a smile. "Don't you smile. What's so funny?"
"Kash, my wonderful Kash." He grabbed me and pulled me into a big bear hug I could not escape from, and trust me, I tried. "Fight me all you want. But no you are not leaving OUR nest. I left the room and grabbed it from downstairs while you showered." I froze. "For you to come out so concerned that our nest had a possible intruder, you never finished getting dressed…" It was at this moment I knew he would start teasing, because at that exact moment I could feel the draft on my bare legs.
"Let me go!" Face beet red from embarrassment now I ran back into the bathroom while he chuckled. "ASS!"
As I finished dressing I came to the conclusion that I would not let Atlas know of my worries, or when my memory slips. To keep myself from forgetting this I wrote myself a letter to read every morning. I tucked it in a spot I would see due to my own habits, but not visible that Atlas would see it. I just had to pray I found it before something like this morning happens.
Being able to arrange it all while Atlas stepped out, even though he promised it was the last time, still gave me extra time to explore the upper level. I had been here a few times but never really explored it to the fullest. I mean, crashing here and actually spending time are two different things.
The one side room caught me off guard for a few, before I remembered his tour and remembered it used to be his office. The room was a good size with a large bay window in the middle. The spot looked perfect to sit at and read stories. Looking more into the room it had a nice sized walk in closet as well and an attached full bathroom. What a huge office. Looked over kill for one. But as a bedroom, it would be perfect. I could almost imagine it set up with two kids running around in it.
What the fuck! Shaking my head of what daydream side blinded me, I walked out. The whole up area lacked scent. Besides Atlas's room of course. You can tell it was not used much at all. The small library was my final stop. Chuckling to myself at calling it small I wandered the shelves. There was a large variety and not many were fiction. There were topics ranging from Accounting to Zoning. If there were any legal issues in the pack, the answers would be found here. Some of the books were very new and looked unread, but some were definitely older with leather binding, and read often. I grabbed one such book and went to a small chair near the window to read.
It feels like years since I took the time to read. Back at my fathers, I would read as much as I could to finish my studies and plan for my future, as a secretary. Now I need to study for my duties as a Luna. The book in my hand, was currently tucked in a darker area of the library, but it looked well read. The leather looked hand bound, ageing it at least one hundred years. I was pleasantly surprised to find that my random grab was a handwritten account passed on of the pack's history. It was a journal of Lunas. It surprised me that Atlas or Zion had not shown me this previously.
I was enthralled from the beginning. It turned out the pack was only about three hundred years old. The Luna entering the first pages had very steady hand writing making the old entries easier to read even with the slightly different dialect. They started with a small introduction and made it feel as if it was a diary entry not a journal.
I am new at this, but my sister suggested it so here I am. My name is Wyatt and I am currently nineteen years old. I come from the Royal Battlecrest Pack. My father is the Alpha and my younger brother is training to take over. I am not allowed as I am an omega. They celebrate like it is a good thing, but what good is it? They parade me around like I am a prized possession. Maybe I shouldn't write in this. What if the wrong person sees it? Though I do feel better venting. I just laughed because I realised I wrote my actual thoughts down. Maybe this is a good thing after all. It feels like ages since I laughed.
My training since my gender showed itself has been how to become the perfect mate. My father has been inviting Alphas from all over for a ball in the spring. He told me I have to pick a mate from his choices. I had always hoped I would find my mate and true love. But my father wants a good connection to increase the pack. At this time I can only hope that one of the ones on this list is my mate.
Today the Alphas from other packs have been arriving and they are scary! The one from the Royal Darktail Pack looked as if he would kill from a look alone. Don't get me wrong, he looked pretty, but he looked even more dangerous. When he tried to talk to me he acted like I was his already as well. Seriously, he even growled when I tried to excuse myself. True to myself I growled right back at him. I might be an omega, but I am also the first born of a Royal Alpha. The gaul of some people. My sister laughed but my father was not pleased with my behaviour. It turns out that he wants me to get closer to that Alpha.
It has been a few days. And what amazing days they have been. I think I found my mate! I am surprised and pleased. Why I say I think is he has not scented me yet, but I could smell him. He is younger at about seventeen so he would not be able to smell me for about a year I think. Never asked when his birthday was. I am afraid to tell my father. They are not a royal pack. My father made it clear the Alpha of my choice had to be from his list.
His birthday is next week! I finally had the strength to talk to him. He is perfect! He is brave and strong. His voice could sooth a wild beast. I know he senses the bond but does not know exactly what it is yet. I won't tell him though. It would be better that he doesn't know. If only one of us is in pain it would be best. My father has been making me sit beside Alpha Arrogant. No, that really is not his name, but I could care less. He could never make me happy.
My world has broken. He felt knows and told his father. There was a whole argument in the meeting hall over my father denying the bond. He announced my marriage to the Royal Darktail Park. The date has been set for after the ball. I do not want that man, I want my mate.
I do not have long to write. It is the night of the ball and the Alpha who I am engaged to will be coming to escort me to the ball. I have left my clothing on the bed and have packed a few things. Two days ago my mate and their pack left and I plan to find them. I have said goodbye to my sister but won't tell my younger brother. He is too loyal to father. I have written letters to them all. I can only hope to put them at ease. To know I have made my own destiny.
It has been years now since I have written in this. I read my small entries from before I took my life and placed it in my own hands. The pack I have helped create is known now as the Royal Eclipse Pack. My bloodline has ensured that my mate and it's future is strong. My father never forgave me, and until his death he cursed me for betrayal. I still love my family to this day and we have tried to invite them to Royal balls. My sister has married and moved on as well and is my only family from my old pack.
My mate is wonderful and runs the pack beautifully. We have one of the largest packs in the courts now. Smaller packs have joined over the years. The last count was twenty Alphas that are under my husband now. We also have three beautiful children. The youngest is a beautiful omega, and she is the apple of my eye. I might just be softer on her being the youngest as well. Our two older boys are strong and leave me no doubt of the pack's future.
This will be my last entry. My health has been failing fast. My mate sits by my side as I write this. I wanted to write a note for future Lunas of the Royal Eclipse Pack.
Remember that before being Luna, you were you first. The title should never determine who you are. It is like our second gender. You are always you before it shows up for all to see. Keep true to yourself and know that if the pack is strong you are doing well. Protect those dear to you but never forget yourself.
Kash read this entry several times. He felt close to this luna. The creator of the royal pack he sees around him today. If this Omega never followed their heart, this pack would have never existed.