Oh my fucking head. Ah, by the.... dear gods that shit hurt. Oh what the hell just happened to me?
Standing up I could try to get an idea as to whatever the fuck occurred to me when I crushed that thing's skull in. But I noticed something, my hair grew out. Not only that, but I felt less weak and hurt.
'Alright, so, whatever the hell happened to me was a good thing? No no no, that's stupid it couldn't have all been a pure positive, there's obviously gonna be a downside to this isn't there?'
Looking around I saw that I was still near the tree, and the headache wasn't as bad as before. I could swear that I felt extreme pain, but whatever it is tht happened, I really need to make sure that it doesn't occur again.
I wasn't smart before, and I still sure as hell ain't smart now. Whatever the fuck they said about age and wisdom normally going hand in hand was a very very minuscule lie, but to be fair, they did state that it was normally, I'm far from a normal case.
"Oh boy, what the shit is going on now?" I looked to my hands and noticed that the nails were sharper than before, and my hands were more callused? I-I don't quite get why the shit did that even occur, but sure I guess?
'Okay, so, do my abilities get fucked since some crazy shit happened? It hasn't even been a week and here I am deciding to allow myself to suffer even further. Gods this world is convoluted enough even without a proper political climate and different governing bodies.
I cannot even begin to imagine the sort of suffering any self-respecting individual would go through if they get thrown here by a fucking deity like me.'
"Wait a minute? When the hell have I ever had self-respect? Hah, son of a bitch, never mind that little aspect I suppose." My words soon became a lot more moot than before when the two little cunts in the tree were throwing rocks at me.
"OH YOU LITTLE, FUCK OW! QUIT THAT YOU MMMMMMMM. I swear to whatever deities that exist right fucking now that if you little cunts keep doing that, I will personally skin you both and turn you into fucking clothing!"
Yes, I was shouting at the children as they scurried back from whence they came. No respect for the elderly, I swear. So I grabbed the tools I still had with me and looked at the still exposed "sucking" root. Yes it's the same root that the tree used to get the bastard, and no, it didn't go downwards, for some odd reason?
I don't know, it was pulsating, as if it was still trying to slowly get everything from the air and ashes, which was odd enough since the only real things that were left there were bones. I don't know how the fuck it dessicated the corpse the point where it was fucking dust, but it did.
And the bones were still heavy as hell, so I took a shoulder blade and kept it. The tree didn't seem to mind me taking some this time, for whatever reason.
'Alright, new tools I can make. Shoulder blades can make good axe heads if I can actually sharpen them. As for trying to figure out what's going on, well, that's gonna be a different time from now. Main issue is survival, and seeing that I technically have three mouths to feed, that's gonna be even more difficult than normal.'
And that's what I tried to do at least. I used the bone knife to try and make it slightly sharper, but all that did was make the knife blunter. No stones, no axe heads, no sinew to tie anything, and even now, no bitches. Wondrous, absolutely wondrous.
I could swear that I could feel my sanity slowly but surely going even further away than normal, but that's fine, absolutely spot-on! Yeah, yeah, it's all normal. This is fucking normal.
Anyways, I just went fuck it and looked around the tree again. There weren't any parasitic vines on it, so I couldn't really use those. I could try to strip off some of the fleshier bark and make that into ropes for things that I need, but do I really wanna try my hand at a tree that's most fucking obviously magical and could kill me without me having my 1UP without a single breath wasted?
'This, this right here is what you call a dangerous situation. You are going to get fucked if you cannot fuck. I really hope nobody takes that out of context, as if there was anyone to listen to the ramblings of a geriatric man in a fantasy world.'
I chuckled a little bit at that joke. I need whatever bit of positivity or pragmatism to try and live through this world. The elves may be little shits, but that's moldable, mutable if you may. I have little to no fucking clue as to whether or not this was good, but I knew that I wanted to live, so I'll do what it would normally take to live.
After all, I'm technically a fucking employee, to a goddess and her shittily done start-up company that was made by her "emperor". Albeit, I don't quite recall what she looked like. Yeah, I guess the pain really does make things slightly harder to remember.
Though in certain cases it would really help certain individuals to remember things very very clearly. Anyways, climbed up the tree, got back to my side of the branch and realized that they were free from the older ropes. WAIT A FUCKING SECOND, I FORGOT I BROUGHT ROPE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I slammed my hand to my fucking forehead and went over to take it. The ballsier one bared their teeth at me as I couldn't help but scoff. I used to be a biter before, I regretted those days, but they're past now, and I intend to make this world not as shit as the last. Or deal whatever may be thrown at me, whichever occurs.
".....Children."
Yes I was talking to them and not insulting them under my breath, was that hard for you to try and differentiate? Well it was hard for me too, since they still hated me. I didn't know that my chances of surviving in this world were going to be good, but hey, let's make it work.
I started to write down into the bark as I made the first letter of possibly the worst language I should be teaching them. It's the same language that you are most likely reading this in. The language that's the second most spoken, and yet seemingly acting like it's the first.
Good old English, more than a million words and yet none of them begin to help me formulate a sentence that can describe how much I want to hit that goddess with a chair for sending me to this point in time.
"A"
Pointing at the letter, I looked at them as I sighed again. This, was going to take a while.
.
.
/3 Day Time Skip/
.
.
I can't believe it. They finally got to W. Yes, I mean that they took their sweet time to try and comprehend that I was trying to teach them a lexicon. And yes, I assume that you all thought they were fast and smart. Fast and smart was what they used to call the "special" children back then in my time.
I was a far far case from whatever the hell that is. My rations were weird on the other hand. I couldn't bear to fucking eat them.
I didn't know what the hell could it mean, well, aside from some very very obvious reasoning. There were renditions or variations or whatever the fuck you call it, umm, tales that depicted the wendigo incapable of eating anything but human flesh.
If I took that and tried to apply it here, retching out my stomach again for the umpteenth time again, then yes, I can't eat anything but human flesh. I'm the only human I've seen so far, so you know what I've done? I did something, well, interesting.
Well, not really interesting, but very very morally objectionable, and I mean severely objectionable.
I planned to make jerky out of my own flesh. Yeah, you, you can see the sort of issues that are born from this. Because fun fact, the human body is not actually capable of eating human flesh. The nutrients are there yes, it is protein yes, but there's more than just that.
Certain enzymes and chemicals made by the human body are not things you can simply just freely consume. And even if I were to try and cook it, there would still be some of it lingering. And I don't know what the fuck being a wendigo entails to.
Does that mean that I'm very very exempt from the issue of cannibalism? Is it going to be hard for me to do so? The first I don't know, and the second is a resounding yes. I, I don't think you need to take into consideration how much of a brain fuck trying to steel your mind enough to kill yourself.
There are so many people in the world I was once from and yet here I am trying to figure out how the fuck am I supposed to justify any of this.
Suicide and then cannibalism, I was fucked back in prison, but this, this is just, goddamn. I really don't feel all that good about this. And yet there's something in me, this feeling, this ancient hunger whenever I see the blood on those children's faces. My own blood, I hunger for it.
Gods that's fucked. I don't really know if I even have the testicular fortitude for it, and that's why I took a moment from trying to teach the children the alphabet and walked over and away from the clearing for a moment.
I needed some time to try and meditate over this.
'Alright, upsides, we are an unknown monster that we have literally no fucking clue about, and the only reason why I even thought it was a wendigo was that it had a fucking skull for a face with antlers.
Yeah, that's, yeah. Fair enough, but that also means that I'm going to be an autocannibal, literally eating at my own flesh, despite butchering myself. They also like the taste of my bloodied red meat, and dear God I really should stop saying words that could be interpreted as something disgusting.'
'But then again, we'll be literally eating at ourselves up until we have nothing left. We don't know what might happen if we try to go cold turkey, and I don't even think can even go cold turkey in the first place!'
'You really don't need to shout about it. I see the cons are absolutely outweighing the pros, but what else is there? We can't just go gusto on our own fucking skin and bones! Hell, the elves will get a taste for it as well you daft cunt!'
'Well, I see that we just need to agree to disagree. Cold turkey whenever we can make an actual chamber that allows us to do so, or else something really really bad could happen. Do we find that good or what?'
'i ThINk nOT.'
I jolted upwards and looked around with my shoulder "blade" and bone knife in hand to try and find whatever talked to me. I didn't talk as I kept silent and watched my surroundings to the best of my power.
'wEaknESs, wHat a dEliGHtfuL flaVouR. Ah, mhm! Forgive me friend, I suppose that I am quite due for introductions.'
And when I turned around, I saw, well, something real special. It was another fucking wendigo, but this time, it was standing on two legs, looked fucking menacing, and had a skull that wasn't small at all. It's skull was fucking massive, and it had some sharp, fucking claws.
'Fine weather today isn't it?'
It didn't even move it's mouth from what I could see from it. I held my weapons in my hand even tighter as I could see it making a laughing motion with it's body. Motion?
'Hahaha, oh you make me feel some very very giddy feelings my dear friend, or should you prefer me to call you a host? After all, I am but a simple guest you allowed charter to!'
I blinked a single fucking time and the beast disappeared.
'Oh how could you possibly call me a beast when you're the criminal here? For shame sir!'
"..... You're, the wendigo? In my head? Oh this is just getting better. And I can only assume that you're more than capable of being smarter than me thanks to hoe much knowledge you have with you in my noggin."
Yes, I was now conversing with myself, well, sort-of myself.
'Au contraire mon cherie, I am but a simple and honest little curse. Born from something natural after all! I have but, what word would you say would fit this situation of ours? Ah! Yes, mutated.
As much as you find the more annoying aspects of certain literature to be a pain, I will say that they have very, very very interesting topics that they speak about.'
Great, now it's saying that it was me, and yet not me. This is just stellar by all accounts.
'Of course this moment is something to be throwing jubilations about, after all, you have finally allowed me to exist. A proper existence, with sapience and sentience.'
"Sentience is relative to your certain case there "friend". And as for sapience, you're not exactly running a corporeal body. You said it yourself, I am the host here, and you, the odd parasite."
'Oh how little faith you have in your demon!'
"I made deals with my demons yes, you ain't one of them sonny."
'Then perhaps greater pastures are within your grasp.'
"And have even more issues to try and deal with when civilization tales true root? Catch me outside, how about that?"
'Oh spare yourself and me from those terrible references. We both know that they're not exactly "bourgeoisie" enough for this situation.'
"Oh great, cultural supremacy, I sure needed to remember my youth when I was stupid and thinking about stupid things stupidly."
'Ah yes, youth, quite the tasteful and truthfully dull in the head time! You haven't exactly given me a name yet, after all this time that we've been together, you still think of me as such a toy to throw away! How could yo!~'
Oh great, it knows how to be a cheeky little cunt. "Oh spare me your bullshit, we don't have a name, so why should we give ourselves one right now? A name isn't the first thing to have do deal with first, you do know that right?"
'Oh but of course! I have a will to live, as shocking as it my be since I am connected to you. But to simplify some of the lesser questions within your psyche, yes, we are stronger, and no, we don't always need human flesh. If we were to gauge how much we would need, it would more or less round out to around three kilograms a week.'
....THREE FUCKING KILOS, OF HUMAN MEAT! BITCH, WHAT SORT OF SHIT IS THAT? Were the mushrooms psychedelic? Should we not have plucked them? How much of this world have we not properly looked into?
'Calm thyself my good alter-ego, 'tis not the end of the world. The mushrooms are normal, you simply need to cook them. And as for the meat, that was more of a "highball" estimate. We can survive years without it, but we would also dessicate and decay, entropy growing and biting at us should we not partake of our preferred manpork.'
"Manpork? Why, why would you call it that way?"
'It is but meat is it not? The simplicity to describe that delicacy, by Jove I could almost sink my teeth into our liver raw once we kill ourselves. But I will withhold myself from such atrocities.
And regarding about our, mhm, "proteges"-'
They're kids, and you and I know we're still trying to teach them. Well, teach in the sense that we're going to make them into our personal warriors, or whatever might work best in the future.
'Hohoho, and teach you shall. As for me, you may consult with any of us by calling me up. I watch your existence with great prospects, my dear alter.'
...I cannot, no no, let's just, let's just go already.