From within classroom walls, Cobalt's last shreds of resolve were about to drop dead on the floor, right in front of everyone. He was barely keeping his composure by clinging onto daydreams. But even those could hardly keep him awake. For now, he'd have to put the hypothetical scenarios in his head on hold.
The previous night he had been up until far into the morning. He wasn't expecting what today would bring in the slightest.
That being… Put on display in front of everyone else as a laughingstock.
"Eleven days, Cobalt. Eleven. Everyone in the roster knows the tolerance for absences is ten, yet this month, back to back, you've missed eleven days straight of class."
Snickers echoed shamelessly following his instructor's words. But those distractions meant nothing to his lecturer, who stared relentlessly at Cobalt with sharp eyes.
Gritting his teeth behind clenched lips, he just had to keep his composure together for a little longer. But his inevitable return to the classroom ended up just being treated like a joke.
What hurt even more is he knew they had probably acted the same when Bismuth was transferred.
Pieces of shit.
Everyone in this claustrophobic world—they were all the same.
Clenching his teeth against the ridicule, he knew that this judgment applied to himself as well.
He didn't want to take any of this anymore, but being put on display like this, he didn't have a choice.
He just wanted to be anywhere else…
Anywhere else…
The night before, a student passing by happened to notice Cobalt's shaking body on the floor of the West Wing at a little before midnight. He'd been there for almost an hour, and would have been there longer if she hadn't showed up on a whim. Scared the hell out of the poor girl, too.
She was quite timid—likely didn't even know what a panic attack was before then.
He truthfully did feel bad that someone had to find him in that state. He felt even worse that the girl that did eventually find him was an old friend of his, Galli.
But he felt much worse that it was because of that slipup that the school board once again became aware of Cobalt's existence.
Meaning…
In that entire month, that was the first time someone even noticed I was gone…
Smack!
Following the teacher cracking his ruler firmly against the chalkboard, most of the class tuned back in immediately.
Most of the class, save the one whose attention he was trying to get in the first place.
He was looking down, anxiously clawing at his hangnails. If the instructor could have seen the blood he was drawing from them, he may have stopped his lecture altogether.
Because the face that student wore showed the twitching stings of complete resentment.
"Cobalt! Are you even listening to me?"
"..."
The instructor's voice was firm and adamant. While he allowed his voice to assertively boom into the atmosphere, the class sat straight up in response.
Except two students in the back.
"God he pisses me off."
"Tell me about it."
Sitting in the back next to a window overlooking a facility of some kind, a vexed boy with a choleric frown on his face blew the long dark brown hair out from over his eyes. His legs were restless, bouncing his desk up and down, up and down, while his face froze the position of his maddened temperament.
"It's been a literal month since Dickweasel disappeared off the face of the planet. You're tellin' me he hasn't hung himself yet?"
"Beats me." The girl who he sat next to him shared his clear irritability, just less obviously.
Sighing jadedly, she simply watched the furious boy shake his desk almost as if he was trying to make a scene.
"Look at that asshat… He's completely out of it. I was hopin' that when Bismuth was 'relocated' he would be too. Guess we can't all be winners."
"And the whole day's going to revolve around him. Isn't that right, Nick?"
The cynical boy, Nick, groaned in agreement, showing his teeth in a sort of snarl. Still bouncing his desk up and down irritably, he kept his sardonic, almond-shaped eyes locked on the blue-haired boy.
"Not if we don't give him a reason to drop dead."
Cobalt kept his resentment to himself, biting his lip against his instructor's lecturing. If he bit any harder, it would probably bleed.
He could feel his lips becoming gummy and loose after being rearranged by his canines. But clearly not noticing his physical protests, or just not caring, his instructor continued relentlessly laying into him.
"If you didn't care about this class then why would you sign up for it before summer? You seriously couldn't even invest a single month into it? You picked this course to begin with - and you can't even be bothered to attend?!"
The instructor's anger started to boil over similarly to Cobalt's. They had both started off with an apathetic attitude. But the more the instructor pried, the more the two of them felt the sting in those words.
In response to that question, Cobalt incandescently eyed the one seat in the classroom that was left vacant.
The elephant in the room.
His instructor's words wouldn't be deterred to stop at that, though. Even though he knew what he was saying was sensitive, he decided instead to double down. He wanted to make an impact on Cobalt's outlook on the world. Regardless of how much that impact beat him down.
"You're a super soldier for chrissake! How are you supposed to go back to Crestia if you can't even take a simple combat course?!"
He was pushing Cobalt further and further.
Undoubtedly, prying like this would be considered out-of-line in any other type of school.
But in the hell Cobalt grew up in, the kindness of silence wouldn't be spared for him.
"You're supposed to be this generation's strongest! The smartest! All of you—yet from what I've seen, you're by far the lowest performing student out of any of your peers!!"
Shut up…
"You've been unmotivated for years. This is nothing new."
Shut up!
"Back when I had you in Secondary, you were always wasting time with that girl. I thought her high scores would rub off on you, but as time went on they just got even lower."
Don't you dare say her name!!!
"It's a shame too. You were supposed to be a beacon of hope for people on the Surface, but even with all the gifts you've been given, you're just as useless as everyone else down there! What's supposed to be special about you if you waste every opportunity feeling sorry for yourself? What are they supposed to believe in if you can't believe in your one purpose for life? You're too weak. That was your problem. Both you… And Bism-"
"Do you think that makes me feel any better?!"
Static rang out through the class.
He couldn't take it anymore. Cobalt didn't have much of a backbone, but hearing that piece of shit talk about Bismuth that way…
It had brought him to his feet.
And now, facing his instructor at the same level…
"You think I get off knowing my reason for living was picked for me?! Do you think I want my only purpose in life to be to kill people?!"
A fire erupted within him. This was the most he had spoken at once in about a month.
And, although shaking, he was going to give these assholes every little word he had.
"I never asked to be a 'beacon of hope' for anybody!" Feeling the weight of his words, he laughed to himself. It was a cruel, twisted, sardonic laugh. A laugh which silenced the admonishment from his teacher, and which silenced the restless leg from the cynical boy in the back. "All of you could drop dead for all I care!!! And you want me to fight… For your sake?!"
His deadened eyes, which once dropped melancholically in tangent with the dark circles around them, now glared with the ferocity and sharpness of a knife.
"Don't make me laugh…" He looked down at his sweaty palms and clenched them.
This had woken him up for sure. Calling him worthless. And then saying the same about Bismuth. Hell, this instructor most likely played a part in "transferring" her too.
In any other moment, there would be something at his back holding him in restraint from speaking so candidly.
In any other moment, Bismuth's hand on his shoulder would be enough.
But now that that hand was gone…
Cobalt just didn't care anymore.
"This is the life you assholes had in store for me?! What…? Is fear supposed to keep me down?! Is that what's supposed to keep me quiet?! Fear of what? Death? Burn in hell. You actually have the audacity to call me weak. To call her weak. When we carry the weight of the sins you just keep passing on down!!! Well screw you!!!"
His voice, still cusping a hysterical laughter, fluttered uncontrollably as he spoke. He was shaking, but kept his composure to stare his instructor down.
"You think I'm afraid…?! You think that's what it all bottles down to?! If the rest of my life is just going to be a constant reminder…" He wouldn't take the pressure anymore. "Of what I'll never be able to do…" He wouldn't take the intimidation. "Of what I'll never be able to undo…"
His fingers shook as he heard his heartbeat drumming relentlessly into his brain.
This excitement.
This rush.
Just the night before, this world had had him reeling on a dirty floor in shock of what they're able to do to him.
But that fear…
Sparked itself alive with more anger than he knew what to do with.
He had no family.
He had no hope.
He had nothing left.
So staring down the only obstacle in front of him, his trembling fingers regained full control of their composure…
And as he took the centermost of each hand and raised them towards his instructor…
"Then there's not a single thing…"
His smile completely juxtaposed the intense rage and fear he was feeling all at once.
"You pieces of shit can scare me with anymore."
Go ahead. I'm as good as dead anyways.