My mind had been split into two- the first one in favour and the other against the fact that Meghali is behind all this. A world war was going on inside my head, but I was adamant not to give any hint to Meghali that I had suspicions about her. However, it was challenging to keep things hidden from her, as she had a very keen mind and knew how to comprehend actions from mere hints.
"Hey?" I greeted her at the door.
"Come on in."
"Why are your dressed up like this?" I said once I sat down on the sofa downstairs.
"Household chores, you see. And I guess we need protective gear to save our clothes and hair."
"Indeed," I nodded.
"I am almost done cleaning the rooms. I'll quickly have my shower and come back. Go to my room and make yourself at home!" She recently moved back from the apartment in Mirza to her parents' house in Lokhra.
Let me warn you that I'm very good at making myself feel at home. I was confused about what I would do to keep her out of sight to check her room, but now she gave me this opportunity to help achieve what I wanted! Maybe, I didn't lose all of my luck. Some part of it was still in my favour! I went upstairs to her room and looked all around. Once I was done inspecting her room, cupboard and bookshelf, I tuned in to check her study table as that was the only place left for scrutinizing. There was nothing suspicious item I found till now. However, the pile of novels arranged on the right corner of the table lured me into checking them out. I scanned through the titles to see if there's anything new for me or something evergreen. I found a few pieces of paper tucked between two of the books as I was doing that. I looked around to see if Meghali was back, and sensing that she wasn't around, I started reading them. I checked the signature to confirm if it was Prince, but it was from Manoj to my surprise. I have never heard of him, so my anxiety increased manifolds. I came back to the first page, it read,
"Hey, Buddy,
I just felt a surge for writing a love letter. You needn't worry that I don't have a girlfriend; hence, the letter is dedicated to you - The Love of my Life.
You know how poor I am at expressing my feelings: you may have already deduced that from the countless accounts that I have narrated, if you remember correctly. Once, you asked me why I am single, to which I replied that I'd not found the right girl yet. But that was a lie- I know who she is, where she lives, and what she does! I lied for fear of losing her friendship which I can't afford at any cost. I'll be deeply shattered if she let go of our bond of friendship.
You called me HEARTLESS when I refused to patch you up with your crush. Indeed, I'm one, for I could not tolerate the girl I dearly loved to fall for someone else. Or maybe I'm mean for not letting you accept the proposals of other guys- though they were a thousand times better than me. And the best part which made me get further attracted towards you was that you complied with me, and readily rejected their proposals(which made you spent the whole night crying, without a good amount of sleep. Now don't ask me how I came to know, that's not the main point I'm bringing up here.)
Today I shall pour in the words which I always wanted to confess. I ask for forgiveness right at the onset of my letter and beg you not to desert me- for my perfect girl is none but you! My sincere apologies if that freaked you out, but yes, it's you! It always has been you- right from the first day I saw you in the examination hall, with the air blowing from the fan swinging your hair from one side of the face to another. My eyes were fixed upon your face, and I felt butterflies in my stomach for the very first time. And trust me, I would have stood there watching you the entire time if there wasn't an exam happening. I still remember your smile, which you gave me once I introduced myself. I was at a loss that I tumbled on my way out of the room and banged my head with the door(nobody noticed that xD).
We build a strong friendship in no time, which we continued in college. While the whole college yearned to have a glimpse of you, I was blessed to be spending my entire time with you. Though I should have been content with whatever I was having, that inner desire of having you as my girlfriend kept haunting me at times! Remember, during our first year in college, you gifted me a band, 'Best Friends Forever.' I still have it preserved nicely in my locker, making sure not a single bit of dust falls on it!
And my love, I had my best moment of life during the college week last month when you kissed me."
My eyes couldn't believe what I was reading, a guy named Manoj kissed her, was madly in love with her and yet I only knew about Prince. Or was Manoj the same guy for whom she left me the second time? I resumed,
"Though it wasn't genuine, the mere touch of your soft lips was enough to melt my heart which had been solidified erstwhile. But yes, I am never a typical anything- you know that! Neither a typical nerd nor an experienced back-bencher and never could be an ordinary student. The female lead was always your for the play, as there was not a single girl in the entire college who shared half your charm! However, I was outweighed by the seniors who tuned in for the auditions for the male counterpart. I was there by your side- reading the emotions on your face, the winking of your brows, the sudden smile or pressed laughter or a slight worry as you went through the script of the play to be presented at the Platinum Jubilee celebration of the college, which was due the following month. As you went through the part of intimacy, you declared straightaway, 'Well, sir, I can't proceed with the kiss if you don't put Manoj as the male lead!' You also added a few other sentences after that, but my mind was still stuck to the very first words you uttered, and I felt as if someone had opened the doors to heaven for me! And sorry to say that my mind took me to imagine being intimate with you, with our lips locked against each other and not letting go of our hold. And thanks to your effort, I got the role that made me famous and reminded me of your importance in my life.
And from that day onwards, I couldn't help myself loving you over and over again. Each moment that I spent without you felt like an eternity, and I would be so mesmerized at your sight that you'd have to snap in front of me to case me out of your spell.
Buddy, I love you a lot, more than any number you can dream of or the amount of love shown to you by all your admirers. I'll always take care that no harm may happen to you- neither the slightest of scratch nor any undue calamity. I will make sure every obstacle has to pass through me before befalling upon you! I'll try to add more colours to your already colourful life and try to cast a rainbow in your heart with my ending shower of love.
I never forced you upon doing anything, and today also I will put forward my proposal without biasing you into choosing any of the answers. I know that love is not a thing to be forced upon by someone against their will but a great divine feeling which can only be felt as it comes naturally to the mind and heart!
You mean everything to me, and my life revolves around nothing but you- you're the North Star of my sky, you're my Ursa Major, you're my Orion belt, you're all of the infinite twinkling gems that adore my sky.
Last, I am very sorry for such extended writing, and I hope it will not ruin our friendship(fingers X). But above all, I love you, buddy, with every iota of my heart. Slap me after reading this, if you want, but please don't force me to wander alone, for it is
LOVE which I ask you to shower
though I do not hover
longing forward to see you soon
dreaming of gifting you the moon..."
~Yours(and only yours) Manoj
"Hey, what are you doing?" Meghali asked me as she saw me putting the book back and open the drawer. She was just back from the shower and was in a bathrobe.
"I was just..." I stammered.
"Unbelievable!" she turned sad, "I never thought that you'd had me on the list."
"No, it's not like that!"
"Is it? Arjun, I can very well see that you have been searching through my belongings. What did you expect to find, ha? Gun? Knife?"
"A love letter", I laughed, trying to ease her down.
She raised her eyebrows. She tried to recollect something and then raced towards me and grabbed the book on the table. "Shit, shit, shit," she began as she saw the letter of Manoj tucked between the pages, "you read that?"
"I tried not to, but yeah, I did!"
"See, there's nothing between us now. It's all in my past, and we are just friends."
"Well, the letter implied more than just friends! And you won't have kept it preserved if there was nothing between you and whatsoever his name is"
"Manoj, and he's a good guy."
"Well, I don't care, and I don't mind either."
"No, listen to me!"
"If there's any point in that?"
"He's the one for whom I dumped you the second time thinking it was love, but it was nothing but a mere infatuation just like Prince. And it was Manoj himself who made me aware that my authentic love was never any one of them but only you!"
"Wow, generosity! Not bad after everything."
"You're taking him wrong Arjun, he's a good guy, and you'll admire him once you meet."
"First Prince and now Arjun? Any more in the list of your ex-lovers whom you're trying to set me an appointment with" I was humorous.
"You should be happy that it's only two. A girl like me can do better, right. Well, not to mention that I rejected a lot of proposals in college, about which you might have already read in that letter!"
"Of course, Miss Gorgeous or whatever you term it!"
"You should definitely meet him."
"And why do you say so?"
"Because there was this special thing about him, you know. He could stare right through my eyes and see the scars I've been hiding from the world. Everything he did seemed like an ointment to the wounds engraved upon my soul- not just the physical ones, but the mental ones too! He healed me, raised me from the bottom of self-guilt I was drowned in. He is a man of great virtue, yet defamed for the mistakes that were never his. He is a guy devoid of mistakes, yet put on the guillotine for the deeds he takes upon his name! A selfless soul, yet devoid of love he was, and I tried to help him with that!"
"You loved him a lot, it seems?"
"Same I took it to be, love. That's what I thought too. However, Manoj corrected me that although I loved him, that love was not actually for him but for the version of you I saw in him!"
"You are making that up now to make me feel good?"
"No, trust me. Those were his words."
"What is he like?"
"He is like you, in most of the things. However, he is more difficult to understand, and sometimes he does fail in understanding himself! I would keep expecting that he would do something, and then he turns up doing just the opposite. Even after spending quite a few years with him, all I could understand was just a minute of the tip of the iceberg he is made up of!"
"Such an enigma of a person he is then?"
"Oh, you have no idea!"