Life seems to be the worst at times. Also selfish and broken sometimes. As usual, I ended up hating me and my fucked up life, looking straight at the mirror. No... There was no such miracle window with a mirage showing out of my boundaries, and letting me have my desires showed upon as a reflection. I wish there would have something like that. Maybe not. Throwing the ugly vase away, out of my sight made no difference in the state of my mind. I felt as perplexed as ever. Covered my face with my hands, closing my eyes, thinking nothing much better I laid down on the rusty old couch. A thought of deep misery; a deep thought of greased memory overwhelmed me. "So what about your boobs? They are also tiny! I want big boobs! Can you change them for my sake?!"

"Fuck off!" said someone inside me repeating the words with full force and resistance to the crawling broken version of me. I did not know how to react. To love my body or to trying change myself again, again? I was disgustingly tired. Repeating the figments of past, the chats on my mind, made it breathless for me. Even harder to forget. Even harder to resist.

"Ben, it's a sensitive point, my desires cannot be fulfilled like this..."

"What do you mean?"

"See... Your dick is not satisfying my needs... I don't know how to put this out into words but..."

"But before it used to, why not now?"

"How many times did we have sex? It was just a couple of times. This time I realised what actually is bothering me... Moreover, you are not serious about sex. With the thick condoms you buy, it becomes harder to enjoy. Why don't you just buy something worthy?"

"I know now that you have so many men lining up for you, it's normal not to feel satisfied by me."

"What do you mean?! Am I wrong? I said nothing wrong. What's the problem with you? Why don't you ever try to fix the problems?!"

"Hey! If I have smaller stick, you also have small boobs. So what about your boobs? They are also tiny! I want big boobs! Can you change them for my sake?!"

That was the end of all the shit and disgust. I felt the same thing I used to be once upon a dark time.

Sia was not always the goddess types... she was not always the one for whom her boyfriend who be jealous. Sia used to be a bullied one, a much less worthier one a year ago. Her boyfriend always used to hurt her, passing on comments about her physique and looks. That was not the first time for the obese girl. No matter how cute the girl was, she was always looked down upon. From the very beginning... But finally, she had found a perfect man who would always encourage her no matter what's wrong with her. She was now all beautiful and goddess for whom her boyfriend would be tensed up, being jealous all the time. The change she made on herself was also because of her past relationship's ending. Her ex's very last comments, no man will ever pursue you; I was the foolish one. That surprisingly changed everything. But little did she expect that her perfect boyfriend will ever look down upon her or pass any sensitive comments about her 'body'. Sia was always ashamed of her body because of the disgusting comments she had always received. Recently, she had started loving her body and encourage herself for the odds. But no odds can be hidden forever and someone or the other will look down upon them. Maybe you'll fuck them off, say it doesn't matter, you love your body; but wouldn't you google a single trick to fix the odds, at least once? There you are... You are not as proud of youself as you show the others who literally doesn't care. And the funniest of all, you can't forget the problem how much you want to if it's marked upon by some other already.

Maybe for me, it was even. Still it bothers me. I would be the happiest if the other person would be in the same misery as I am. At least, it was not odd.