Chereads / How Not 2 Be A F*cking Princess / Chapter 2 - All good stories begin with once upon a time

Chapter 2 - All good stories begin with once upon a time

'Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. Her hair was woven with starlight, spilt ink and the dark ether; crafted from midnight dates and lullabies. A river of darkness, like a halo atop her head, cascaded down her back and around her soft face. It was a stark contrast to her golden eyes. Her eyes were a paradise of everlasting sunrises. You could almost hear the birds sing in them and in the way she blinked. Heavy black lashes creating pauses in her realm. She was the type of gold that made you want to drink honey milk to long-forgotten songs. She was the type of comforting darkness that kissed you goodnight in the moonlights embrace. She was the type of beautiful that invoked harmonies rather than envy.

Of course, being the child of a powerful king, many princes wanted her hand. Many unmarried kings wanted her hand too. And her father, drunk on all the political gains he had the potential to make with her, delighted in all the luxuries he was gifted to win his favour.

His majesty was all ravens and swans. Hair of poet quills and eyes of golden promise rings. He did not melt with the world as the princess dead, instead, he stood atop it. He was the type of gold crafted into knells and found in ancient tombs. He was the type of darkness that made you look away. He was the type of beauty that made all admire and fear.

Too court up in all of the politics of his country and indulgent of his many fine gifts, he had not noticed how his daughter had fallen for a prince of a neighbouring kingdom. Ordinarily, this would not be a problem, however, this kingdom was notorious for overtaking others either through political marriages or by force. This kingdom was in fact the largest empire at the time.

The princess loved her prince despite all of her fathers' multiple refusals to allow their marriage. And so, the beautiful princess was forced to marry another.

Not a soul expected the empires next target to be the very princesses kingdom, with whom the prince of the empire had loved so dearly. Not a soul expected the princess to be the very person coordinating such an attack. Not a soul expected for her to be murdered by her very own insulted father.

This is how the princess of the ether and sunrises, Aria Saint Lomare, came to end.'

- An extract from gods land chapter 1

Aria Saint Lomare.

Apparently, that is now my name. I am a newborn princess that shares a name with a character that was destined to die young.

That is very inconvenient, to say the least.

The nurse continued to toy with my hands and the world around us seemed to quiet. Fucking finally. I was soon surrounded by grey, blurring faces looking down at me. They all spoke in hushed voices as they poked at my cheeks.

I actually really don't mind babies when they are quiet and I guess that includes me too. All they do is eat, sleep, and shit. Unlike toddlers, they're not so bad. Don't get me started on the literal demons that are toddlers, though. Toddlers are the only reason I don't want kids. I guess the fact that they're so much effort is also a bit demoralising. My respects to any parents that can actually deal with all that but that I would very much rather not.

The room grew unnaturally silent for a few heartbeats before I felt the woman holding me, bow slightly and raise.

"Your majesty." Her voice quivered.

The sound of shoes hitting the marble floors echoed around us and stopped before me. I felt cold in the presence of him. The king who will someday come to kill Aria. Well, not if I have anything to say about it. I actually refuse to die before I can get back home where there is working internet.

"Her name is-" The woman began but was swiftly interrupted.

"Pardon, 'she?'"

"Yes, your majesty."

Sympathy is a rare emotion because I usually find more enjoyment in making fun of people but, wow, I really do feel sorry for her. The air only seemed to ice further the longer he stayed here. I'm cold.

"Continue."

I could feel her hands tremble slightly as she cradled me softly. "Her Majesty, the queen, had decided to name her highness 'Aria Saint Lomare.'"

A small chuckle erupted from the man as he caressed my forehead. I don't know if the gesture was supposed to be comforting or a way to pressure himself that I really did exist.

"Moving forward, I shall leave her in your care. Aeternum palace may be the home of the new princess. My wife's former ladies in waiting shall now attend to the princess for the foreseeable future. I will have my treasurer make you aware of the funds." He spoke quickly and quietly. Not like a child who was afraid of both being heard and being spoken over, but like a man who knew that everyone would hold onto his every word. He was a true king.

But... he is also the dipshit who might just kill me before I get to know the ending for some of my favourite manga. Eat shit and die please, dearest father.

I must of not heard the woman's reply as the man had already started retreating to the door. The clicking of his shoes on the marble floors was the only sound that could be heard before the heavy wooden door was shut behind him.

It felt as the entire room let out a collective breath as all of the women began to pack things away. The woman still held me in her arms and pressed a small kiss to my head.

"That was his majesty the king and your father, little princess."

Fucking great. I just love being the spawn of the literal embodiment of a polar bear with manners and slight self-restraint. Fan-fucking-tastic. Honestly, it's right next to 'getting a wasp hive booted into my face' on my list of favourite things.

Man, I already can't wait to grab Isaac, find a way back home and burn this fucker to the ground.

Shit.

Where is Isaac?