Dual cultivation?!
I was stupefied. Dual cultivation was a type of technique that I sometimes heard other disciples talk about behind each other's backs. It wasn't exactly forbidden, but everyone always treated it as some kind of taboo, because it was a technique where a man and a woman cultivate at the same time through … the ultimate physical intimacy.
No wonder Li Yuxian said it could help one's cultivation progress unimaginably fast. The way dual cultivation works is for the man and woman to achieve yin-yang balance by absorbing each other's spiritual power through their physical union. Because men's spiritual power is stronger in yang and women's stronger in yin, the sharing would complement and enhance both person's cultivation progress.
And no wonder Chu Xi had called Li Yuxian shameless. Not all dual cultivation partners married each other—it was a complicated relationship. Besides, even though dual cultivation had been an established method for centuries, people weren't particularly fond of this technique because of the stigmas associated with it, such as "stealing someone else's success" or "seeking pleasure in the name of cultivation". Gossips and rumors always followed whenever dual cultivation was mentioned.
The conversation I overheard all made sense now. I should've known. I should've thought of it before bringing it up … before mentioning a dual cultivation technique to Bai Ye! I felt my face burn out of embarrassment, and I wanted to find a hole in the ground to hide myself in.
Bai Ye must've noticed the change of expression on my face. He chuckled: "Qing-er, did you really overhear this? Or did someone … suggest it to you?"
He leaned in closer as he spoke, and the scent of him surrounded me. The light from the window fell on him at an angle. His tall nose and sharp jawlines cast a large shadow over half of his face and neck, and his lips were curled into a faint wisp of a smile.
Was he teasing me?
"N-No … No one suggested it to me …" I hated how dumb I was with words, especially whenever I talked to Bai Ye. I knew his question wasn't a serious one, but I didn't know how to answer differently.
The corner of his lips raised some more. "If you happened to have found the book on Liangyi Technique today …" he continued, "who are you planning to practice it with?"
His deep voice resonated in the small space between us, and his words almost sent my heart leaping out of my throat.
I didn't expect such a question at all. Bai Ye was a lot more easy-going with me than other immortals at Mount Hua did with their disciples, not keen on rules and liked to tell jokes once in a while. But he wasn't flirtatious, and I had never heard him talk this way before.
Was it just a jest, or did he … want a specific answer from me?
I told myself that I was overthinking it. Bai Ye wanted to make a little fun of me, that was it. But I couldn't help the wild thought that came to my mind: I will practice it with you, Master. And a small part of me hoped madly that it was the answer he wanted to hear.
Just the barest idea of it made me shudder. I was his disciple, and he was my master. How could such a lewd, filthy thought exist in my mind?
I didn't dare think further. My crush for Bai Ye was the deepest secret in my heart that I could never afford to let anyone know. My knees felt weak with all the emotional turmoil, and I stepped back to lean on the bookshelf behind me, turning my head sideways so I didn't have to look into his eyes.
Bai Ye didn't seem to notice my struggle though, because he leaned in further and whispered in my ear: "You said you would try anything that helps, Qing-er. Tell me, who will you try dual cultivation with?"
His warm breath sent a tickling sensation down my spine. For a moment, I imagined that he would reach even closer, that his lips would brush over me in a gentle kiss. I didn't need a mirror to know how red my face must be, and I wondered if he could hear my violent heartbeat at such a close distance.
The air around us suddenly grew hot, as if all the summer heat had just swarmed in and engulfed me. I closed my eyes. I felt ecstatic, desperate, frightened, mad, all at the same time. "Master," I whispered. "I …"
Bai Ye let out a low chuckle again. Before I knew it, he had leaned back and opened up the distance between us again. "Did I scare you?" he asked. The faint smile was still on his lips. "You take jokes too seriously."
I was still breathing heavily. Clarity started coming back to my mind now that he was farther away, but somehow my heart felt empty as if something was missing.
What had I expected instead? Did I hope it wasn't a joke? Did I hope Bai Ye was asking me those questions because he would … consider trying it with me?
No, impossible. I bit my lips, trying to push those shameful thoughts out of my head.
"Be careful with new techniques," Bai Ye stressed again. "And don't worry so much about your progress. We will work this out, I promise."
But I had already forgotten everything about our earlier conversation. My thoughts lingered on his scent, his breath, his words. I wanted time to freeze at that moment when he whispered in my ear, so I could savor it over and over again.