"I'm sorry," I tell her, my voice hoarse with emotion.
"Nothing to be sorry about. The man you love walked out on you, only leaving a stupid fucking note." A bark of laughter comes out when she uses a curse word, something she hardly ever does. She walks over and picks up the crumpled paper I threw. I shake my head, not wanting it.
If Eli had something to say to me, he should have said it to my face. Not in some note. Anger starts to rise now, pushing the sorrow away.
"What did your mom do?" I ask her as she shoves the crumpled paper into her pants pocket.
"Nothing. She just stood there." She shakes her head. "While her boyfriend laughed, and then she went and got him another drink."
My jaw clenches, and I want to punch her mom, but I know my dad will give her a piece of his mind. And the boyfriend better hope he's not anywhere to be found by the time he gets there.
"God, Alice, I'm so sorry. I'm crying over a broken heart, and your mom—"
"Don't," she says. "I'm glad it happened. I mean, kinda. I finally had a reason to really leave. It was the push I needed."
"We're a hot mess," I tell her, turning to look at the mirror over the dresser. Our faces are blotchy and red. "You were always a better-looking crier than me," I tease, making her smile.
"We should eat ice cream, and then you can tell me what sent Eli on the run."
"I kissed him." The words come out soft and sad. Wait, he kissed me. I'm not really sure, to be honest. It was the best moment of my life, and it sent him running. I thought he needed time, but I was wrong. He wanted as far away from me as possible, taking with him the life I'd started to dream of.
"Was it good?" Alice asks.
I look over at her and let out a heavy sigh.
"It was life changing."
Just not the life-changing way I thought it was going to be.
Chapter 10
Eli
Eleven months later…
"Fuck, that's it," I groan, squeezing the base of my cock. I wrap my fingers around it tightly because I know her mouth can't possibly go down that far. My cock is too long and thick, and she can't get to the end without gagging.
I close my eyes tightly and lick my lips, knowing I'm close to cumming. I use my other hand to run along my chest, rubbing my hard nipples. I want the sensation of her hands on my body, but she can't reach while she's on her knees in the shower.
Slicking up my hand, I run it up and down the shaft, helping her milk me to completion. When I cum, it's in long spurts that land on her neck and perky wet breasts. It's a sticky mess, and I'll have to clean her up afterwards, which will start this process all over again.
When the last of my orgasm leaves me, I lean my head against the shower tile and try to hold back the tears. It's all just a fantasy. I'm alone in my shower, and the water is turning cold. The images of Maggie I've conjured in my head spin down the drain with my release.
The warmth I felt in my chest seconds ago is now gone, and all I'm left with is the pain of wanting something I can't have. Not yet.
Getting out of the shower, I grab a towel and dry off and make my way out of the master bedroom and into the kitchen. I grab the pen off the counter and go to the calendar hanging on the wall. I cross today off in red ink, showing that I'm one day closer to her. One more month and I can end this.
Leaving Maggie's house was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. But I knew it was for the right reason. It was the only way I could stay away from her. Otherwise I would have smothered her with what I felt and would have been unable to have it. She's one month from turning eighteen, and then it's her decision. I will go to her and beg her to forgive me for leaving. I will beg her to take me, faults and all. Because she's mine.
That one kiss sealed it for her, for us. I admitted how much I cared for her, and then I couldn't deny my own desire any longer. Tasting her sweetness and feeling her soft body melt against mine was too much. I wanted it all, and more. I wanted to drink her soul into mine and bind our bodies together for all eternity.
But I knew it wasn't the right time. I knew that she needed some space to decide if this was really what she wanted. The note I left for her was a sorry way to explain it, but doing it in person would have been wrong. If I had have been within arm's reach of her, I wouldn't have given her the chance to say no. And now, with some time away from me, she can tell me what she's decided. If I'm still what she wants.
I'm not a man who's been with a lot of women in my life. Certainly never in a relationship. Kissing Maggie changed all that, and it changed me. I know the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I want her to choose me. But even if she doesn't, there will never be another in my bed. There will only be the thought of her to keep me warm at night. Because I can't live a life with a substitute.
I'd like to think I'm strong enough to let her walk away and be with someone else if that's what she wants. I keep telling myself over and over that if she chooses another man, that's who she needs. But I know deep in my soul that it will break me. I'll try to make her understand. I'll do everything in my power to show her that I love her. And maybe then it will be enough.
I've been in touch with Major since I left, and he's mentioned here and there how Maggie is doing. He's dropped a few details about her going on dates and bringing guys to meet him. Every time he told me about it, I felt like I was going to throw up. But I had to remind myself that this was part of the plan. Give her a year to figure out if she still feels the same way about me as she did before.