Taking a step out of the bright sun into the gentle AC of the building, an invisible weight on my shoulders felt as if it had been snuffed out as I was welcomed with the eerie calmness of an empty building. Each step to the elevator echoed against the white tile floor, and looking to the unmanned reception desk, I was suddenly very grateful that it was a Sunday afternoon.
No people- no watching eyes. The muscles in my back uncoiled as I stepped into the east elevator, my shoulder blades bruising with self brought stress. As the silver doors slid shut, I was met with my wilted reflection that I had been neglecting all day. I don't know why, but a part of me expected myself to look different- that maybe my gaze would hold some new sentiment or my mouth would rest at a different expression. I didn't look like how I pictured an Alpha to look, to put it nicely. I didn't have the charismatic business smile or the diplomatic visage. Short, straight black hair and basic bangs which almost shielded my brown eyes; I thought, if anything, I would be a Beta. After all, my mother was a Beta and I took after her much more than I did my father. Closing my eyes, I relished in the sublime relief which hushed from my lungs that I hadn't changed. If anyone saw me, they wouldn't know- and just thinking that caused a heavy breath of relief to sift through my teeth.
It felt ironic to be relaxing so much at what was usually a strict, professional space- but with no one here? This place could very well be heaven. Vending machines with nice drinks and snacks, beautiful glass dividers and tall ceilings- glossy tile floors which sparkled like fresh snow. Even the elevator was divine- the stopping so gentle I hadn't even realized it had reached my floor until the doors silently slid open.
Like a sweet release from purgatory, my office door at the end of the hallway beckoned me forward, and before I knew it; my work laptop was in my capable hands. Among my curio in the corner and my diplomas hanging on the walls, I felt assured that if not anywhere- at least here I would belong. Sinking into my seat as if it were my second skin, I opened my laptop to check my emails before the sticky note taped to my screen caught my attention.
Miss Yanaka- I have scheduled for you to take a day off Monday. Rest until you feel better. I hope I was helpful. - Secretary Han
Taking the note off my screen, I didn't know whether I should feel pissed or grateful to have a proactive secretary like Mr. Han. In the year we had been working together, he was the first to learn that I used my work as an escape, and since then he was a firm advocate that I take 'proper' care of myself, as if there was a difference. Sitting at the desk he organized for me, a warmth settled in my chest at his sincere efforts to help me. At first, I crumbled up the sticky note to ignore it like I usually did; but before throwing it in the trash, I felt a fresh fear settle upon my shoulders with the weight of the world.
If I came to work tomorrow with Alpha pheromones.... Before my mind could even articulate the rest of that thought, I felt something in my ribcage tremor violently; my hands shaking as it was suddenly hard to breathe. Countless scenarios and faces rushed past my mind's eye, and though none of it was real, for the first time in my life, I didn't want to go to work.
Sitting in my desk chair dumbfoundedly, it felt as if a cold bucket of water had been poured over my head as the unfamiliar feeling only grew more frantic and demanding. Don't let anyone see you like this, it gasped. If they know... If they know...
Things will change for the worse.
Frozen in my seat, my brain went dark at those words; and I forced myself to take a big, adult breath. Rationalizing my own premonitions was only growing more tiring, so I made the choice to follow his advice; the actions of packing up my laptop and essential files foreign to me.
Everything is going to be fine, Aisha. I told myself. I just have to take myself up on that dinner Father asked me to.
With everything packed into my computer case, my desk looked as though it was something I wasn't supposed to see- the dark wood naked without the familiar stack of papers and my computer's constant chanting that there was work to be done. Ignoring the strange sense of discomfort the sight gave me, I paused to read the back of the medicine box, the dosage needing to be consumed every three hours. Checking my watch, I decided I would take the next dose at home; and with that, I grabbed my car keys Mr. Han left on my desk before returning to the elevator.
Exiting the back door of the building, I walked down the near-empty street towards the private parking garage passing the familiar alley ways. Tall glass castles were fenced in with freckled sidewalks, and the roads in my mind became the veins of the complex body-like capital. Though it was normally buzzing and chaotic, on Sunday evenings like this one, it was nothing more than concrete, bricks, and soulless space. No; perhaps it was more like a sand box for all the wealthy and influential Alphas on wallstreet, and to the rest of us, it was just work.
My footsteps stopped in their tracks as it hit me once more- that I was an Alpha. Along with it, suddenly came the thought that I would face a whole new set of problems that had never occurred to me before as a Beta. Would Father expect me to... get married to an Omega?
At that thought, the disjointed image of my psyche further crumbled- my identity only growing further and further away from what was beginning to feel less like a body and more like a fleshy prison. My hand touched my face as if to ensure that I was the same for the nth time that day; and though it brought some relief, I recognized my thoughts were only growing more and more bleak.
Forcing myself to keep walking, as I was about to turn a corner, my ears twitched as the sound of jagged coughing and rapid footsteps cantered beside me- my eyes flicking to the bricked alley which was too shadowed to see well. The distraction couldn't have been afforded at a better time to save me from my own mind, so peering into the dark alley, I strained to focus on the sounds which could have been part of my imagination.
In response, all that brushed itself against my eardrums was the soft whistle of wind and the bold sight of my shadow bleeding into the dark alleyway; like a blackhole which was sucking me in. Tightening my grip on my computer bag, I almost considered walking away before more coughs echoed faintly- a dull groan bouncing off the walls.
"... Hello? Are you hurt?"
Even my own words seemed to be swallowed by the darkness, and though I couldn't see anyone, upon hearing another weak groan, my heart egged me on to help before my brain halted me in my tracks.
What if it's a trap? What if it's a group of men or gangsters playing a trick and trying to lure me in under the false pretense of an injured person needing help? Another thought rose to the surface of my mind like a gasp of air from the bottom of a deep, inky ocean- and while I toiled with my mind to ignore it, I could feel it festering in the tissues of my face. What if... it said.
Shaking my head, my eyes remained glued to my shadow- how tall and domineering it looked.
What if... the voice broke through, it's a group of Alphas tormenting someone?
As a Beta, I had heard cases of that happening; of Omegas being assaulted by cruel Alphas who 'couldn't control themselves'. Though before I had thought it ludicrous; now I began to wonder if I was at risk of falling prey to said 'urges'- if, since it was known to happen, whether there was any merit to those words. The doubt and discomfort within me at that thought sent shocks down my arms and legs, and though I tried my best to sympathize with the possibility of someone really being hurt, ultimately, I was too afraid. And rather selfishly, I found comfort in my cowardliness- because it wasn't something an Alpha was supposed to have. Standing still, my hands wrapped around my arms as I stood there contemplating as more coughs slithered across the broken glass and trash upon the ground, something in my stomach twisting and bending sharply.
Faintly, however, soft words began to follow after the groans; a mocking laugh bouncing off the walls which set my body on edge.
"Do... that? Smells...." The words were too quiet to catch in their entirety, but what followed at the end was enough to set my feet into action.
"Should we leave you here and see what happens?"
The tone at the end of the sentence made my skin crawl, and as my own calculated footsteps begrudgingly echoed in the alley, I could hear the crunching sound of theirs retreating; my mind made up. Picking up a metal pipe off the ground, I tried to stay as alert as possible as I wandered farther and farther away from the main road. As the shadows loomed around me, my eyes slowly acclimated to the poor lighting, and my nose stung with an unfamiliar aroma.
Covering my nose with my arm, I couldn't help but gag as the smell choked out my senses. Spit gathered in the back of my throat as I suddenly felt sick, my skin clammy and my eyes watering as if I had been gassed.
At the sound of a loud groan, I forced myself to focus and press on before I froze in my tracks- a crumpled body laying in the middle of the alley. Rushing forward, I could smell the metallic scent of blood and the dusty taste of kicked up dirt. Bending down, I gently tapped the person's shoulder- their face shielded by long, tangled dirty blonde hair.
"Miss? Miss? Do you need to go to the hospital?"
At her lack of response, I began to panic slightly, the discomfort in my stomach suddenly cold. If I hadn't over-thought so much-- if I hadn't lingered but taken action instead; would she be in this state? If I had gotten to her sooner, would things have been different?
Fumbling in my pocket for my phone, I began to dial 119 before a hand suddenly grabbed mine- her grip so tight I jumped in shock.
"Please... No hospital." Her words were faint and wispy- and looking at her tear stained face, I felt the chaos in my mind calm. Sucking in a deep breath, another wave of that heavy aroma flashed against my throat- a gag rolling from my stomach as I felt a headache pound against my skull. Desperate to focus on the matter at hand, I forced myself to become calm and logical- at least glad that she was responsive.
"Do you have someone I can call? How can I help you?"
Resting her head back against her arm, she let go of a short breath before closing her eyes. Tapping her face gently, I tried to urge her to stay awake, her half lidded eyes opening back up.
"No hospital." She repeated.
Letting out a frustrated breath, I wondered if instead I should call the police or fire department; but if she was trying to avoid the hospital... Then maybe she had a reason for avoiding those places too.
Deciding to take matters into my own hands, I quickly scanned the alley to make sure we were at least semi-safe before trying to gauge how badly she was hurt. Dark blood was soaking her pant leg as if she had been kneeling in a puddle of it, and while I couldn't tell exactly why she was bleeding, I decided my first mode of action was to put pressure on the wound. Though it shouldn't have been a shock; when I set my hand on her shin to gauge where I should put a DIY tourniquet, I didn't expect two things:
The blood was cold to the touch- like it had been soaking for a long time and was still wet. I didn't know much about treating injuries, but I hoped that it wasn't as serious as my mind was already imagining it to be.
And secondly: she didn't flinch at all as I poked around her shin. With how much blood was on her clothes- and had even dripped down and stained her sneakers- I would have guessed it to be deep and painful; but she didn't move even a little.
Tying the tourniquet as quickly as possible, my cool-headed demeanor slowly losing its control over my actions. More and more what ifs began to pile upon my brow, and while I knew a little due to my primary school first aid class- applying it to a real life scenario felt like a completely different matter.
My actions and thoughts began to play a game of push-and-pull: the cry of my mind blurting out "What if she catches a cold" immediately followed by my hand checking the temperature of her forehead. It was in that fashion that I even checked her heart-rate and swept her pockets for any identifying information or emergency contacts.
But, in the end, there wasn't anything. Not a license, a credit card- not even any random objects like chapstick or spare change. Her heartrate was perfectly normal, and even her expressions wouldn't have made you guess she was in her current situation.
Letting out an exasperated breath, I could feel the hollowness in my arms as the adrenaline from before began to leave my system- and in its wake, I could feel the exhaustion in my bones and the frigid chill from being in the dim, dirty alley. Though I think a part of me knew what was going to happen, I found myself lingering at the next step to take.
I didn't really have any friends- or anyone I was willing to bother help me by taking in a stranger. If it was my Father, he would take her to the hospital anyways, and my mother...
Something set a heavy, metallic paperweight on the back of my tongue, and with a strong swallow I instead redirected my thoughts to what would happen if I left her here. In a type of self-brewed reverse psychology; the case of a defenseless, wounded girl in a dark alley was enough to cancel out any of my inhibitions.
So, sucking in a deep breath, I decided I would do my best to follow her wishes.