Fate is simply cruel. When I first saw the woman in my dreams, I was mesmerized. She did not possessed otherworldly beauty nor did she carried a graceful disposition, instead, her eyes shone such sadness that left my soul feeling wounded.
As though I was suffering her own sadness, I felt her silent cry and pleas. She was a woman I had never conversed, but such emotions I feel for her was like a place I always yearned. Perhaps because she had shown me her vulnerability, her honesty, and her pain. Maybe it is because I empathize in such depth that I see her no different from myself. Regardless, like fallen leaves in spring, we were in the time of our lives where warmth and joy should have bloomed, yet, by the gush of the wind, we were left falling in our misery.
~•~•
Year 1990
I was seven years old when I first had a dream. Unlike the quiet night I have grown accustomed, I saw blurred images of a woman I will later call my soulmate. Her golden locks danced along the wind as her dress swung with the rhythm. She stood there, unbothered by the falling leaves of spring and the picturesque view of the ombré sky. Slowly, my feet moved closer. For some reason, my young heart was not afraid. Despite the heat I feel in my unconscious body, despite the strangeness of what I was seeing, I was more eager than I was fearful.
Once I was close enough, I raised my hand to reach her shoulder, however, like sand clutched within my hand, only the fleeting feeling of her short existence remained as the world of my first dream collapsed.
Year 2015
Its been years since I last saw her. She, who has haunted and kissed my soul with her silent embrace, has been a part of my life for decades, hurting me, breaking me and healing my wounded heart. Forthwith, at the ripe age of 26, I have seen the sweet and bitter moments of her life through my dreams. I have long trespassed the spring of her first love, her first kiss, her grief and her death. Perhaps, after many years of her repetitive torment, it was fate's method to have her escape from her misery, to let her breathe and feel no more pain. A blessing no doubt. Yet, how come I awoke and see myself inside her life, with my soul within her body?