Dean looked at Claire deep in her eyes. He was feeling a bit anxious about saying what he had in mind to her, but he couldn't be a coward at that moment. He already had the decency of denying Paul's invite in order to solve his personal things, so he couldn't just do things too shallowly with her.
"I denied going with them because I am not the Ascendant that they need. Right now, I am just an ordinary mercenary, someone who dirtied his hands for money. There isn't a single hint of true willpower inside me, and I am not talking about this mystical energy, but rather the literal thing. At a certain point, I hadn't only lost the powers inside me, but also the hope and the determination I had in my heart. I only focused on pursuing one thing, and when this thing vanished in front of me, I couldn't find a better way to live except by finding smaller goals that had no meaning behind them.
