I'm so stable and natural,
I was once so impulsive and overwhelmed
The new me has the help she needs,
But I feel the withdrawals seeping
.
I miss the old me,
The changes that took place when I was 15,
So much has changed,
But I miss that broken and hormonal teen.
.
The aroma is so strong
The stench won't move along,
I must feel her once again,
But that wouldn't be painless.
.
I wondered what was wrong,
But no one could sniff the cause
I suffered silently,
It's no longer empty, just shadowy
.
The darkness is what I remember
It hides the answers
The old me was a fallen angel,
She wanted the freedom but loved the illness.
.
Now, I am fully stabilized,
I die slow,
Slow, slow, slow,
Why must she go?
.
I feel so empty,
I enjoyed what kept me lonely
Why do I want the chaos?
I blame myself; I was so troubled.
.
I abused my body,
And nobody could help me
Now that I am treated
Why do I miss the unloved feeling?
.
Sometimes, I don't want the medication,
It's something that I need so that I no longer bleed,
I cannot have all these symptoms,
They racked up and worsened
.
Now, I am fully stabilized,
I die slow,
Slow, slow, slow,
Why must she go?
.
I miss the old me,
But she was the personality
The one where the endocrine system defected
Nothing hurts her system.
.
Now that she's gone,
I realize that she was the pawn
And just unsettled,
There she goes:
.
I cannot let her go!
.
Her disease was trauma and a test,
What repeated had taught her a lesson
The pain worsened
Sometimes, life's only a token.
.
The pure light is what I see,
The darkness has dimmed angrily,
Ebony fights the hue
So shady and untrue
.
My symptoms are stabilized
Nothing makes them creep back inside,
My moods are neutral,
Everything is clear like a quartz crystal.