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Lazy Cultivator Wants to be Lazy

🇬🇧MercuryBars
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Synopsis
A lazy cultivation master has lived for a long time and decides to go into closed cultivation. When she finally goes through her breakthrough she sees her alternate universe life. She remembers a story she read in that life that is similar to the life she lives now. She realizes that those books were talking about the world she lives in. In the story, the main character was a stud horse who had a harem of 5 women. He traveled around the world, trying to grow stronger so that he could defeat the great evil boss that was being unsealed. She was apparently his golden master that helped him whenever he was in trouble, and during the last volume, she dies protecting them from that evil boss. She had actually double suicided with the evil boss. It was theorized by the fans that she was secretly in love with the stud horse, but due to being his master, she could only protect him from afar. But… she doesn't actually remember that kid??? When the hell did she pick up a disciple?!? Who is that weird fucker who is stalking her?!?! Now that she’s actually thinking about it, it never actually said in the book that she was that little bastard’s master. She just saw him whenever she was on one of her walks and decided to help because he wouldn’t leave her alone. Wait, didn’t that mean that little shit was actually stalking her?! Did he want her in his harem or something?!? Aw, hell no!!! She just wanted to relax. Why is it so hard to relax in this life? She just wanted to take a nap. Leave her alone already, ah! A stud-horse and his harem of strangely strong girls, two little spirit creatures, a puppy-like man that’s following her everywhere and so many more. Don’t even get her started on the situations these fools try to drag her into. She just wants to take a nap! Leave her alone and take your problems with you!!! (Note: This is not a serious story. I'm just doing this for fun.)
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: Scr*w the story, I’m taking a nap.

In a sealed cave that was separated from civilization, a beautiful room was carved out. It was similar to an ancient chinese boudoir. The screen leading to the bed looked to be made of red santal wood. In the room, a beautiful bed was placed as if it was the figurehead in the room. It was a beautiful piece of furniture, with elaborate carvings on the headboard. The sheets looked like silk and the comforter looked very fluffy. There were many pillows that looked extra fluffed and soft. Just putting your head on them would be like sleeping on a cloud. The canopy was tied back so you could see the middle of the bed.

A beautiful woman was sitting lotus-style on the bed. Her eyes were closed, hiding her eyes that could be compared to the most dazzling onyx. Her eyelashes fanned out, casting small shadows across her cheeks, bringing to attention her smooth skin that was akin to the highest grade of jade. Ebony hair was put up into a simple braided bun with strands framing her face. Her arched eyebrows furrowed as she felt herself get closer to her breakthrough. Sweat dripped down her face and brought attention to her lips pressed together in concentration.

Her eyes snapped open as power exploded from her. Power that turned biting cold as it left her, although she didn't seem to notice. Her eyes curved in delight as she panted lightly. She held her hands out in front of herself, letting her power materialize as a white camellia. Her face softened as her eyes held a glint of longing and melancholy. She held the flower gently, almost as if she was afraid she would destroy it if she held it any other way. She lifted one hand as if to stroke it but stopped midway.

Her hands dropped and she let the flower dissipate as a searing pain flashed through her mind. She stifled a groan of agony as the pain became stronger. She bit her lip at the pounding that was overtaking her mind. The pounding became stronger and stronger before something seemed to give in her head and foreign memories flashed through her mind.

As memories flowed through her mind, she lifted a hand to massage her head. She sat on the bed in a daze, maybe for hours, trying to sort everything out, before snapping out of it. She set her hand down before letting out a large sigh. She looked off into the distance, a profound look in her eye. If anyone had seen her, they would have thought that she was thinking of something exceptionally important.

'F*ck my life. I'm too damn old for this kind of sh*t. Life really gave me some sh*tty lemons, huh? Well, life better take its damn lemons back before I shove--' she cut off that thought. She really didn't want any trouble in her life. She just wanted to nap in peace. Was that really so hard to ask for?

You see our dear main character, whose name shall be Ye Liqiu, just had a look into her alternate universe life. Due to her getting twenty years of new memories in the span of a second, it took a bit of time to sort through everything. However, when she did remember, she just barely avoided cursing out loud but she couldn't resist scowling in irritation.

In the memories that flowed through her mind, she saw a book. A very stupid book, with a fu*ked up plot. She remembered that her other self had written a very…moving review criticizing everything wrong with the story but that's beside the point. In the story, the main character was a stud horse who had a harem. He traveled around the world, trying to grow stronger so that he could defeat the great evil boss that was being unsealed. She was apparently his golden finger that helped him whenever he was in trouble, and during the last volume, she dies protecting them from that evil boss. She had actually double suicided with the evil boss. It was theorized by the fans that she was secretly in love with him, but due to being his master, she could only protect him from afar.

She isn't a pedophile! She was over 100 years old! A boy that's wet-behind the ears isn't her type at all. She narrowed her eyes in thought. She just won't protect him! Hmph, what would he do then!

Although, thinking about it now, she remembered protecting a kid since he was her master's descendant. She pursued her lips. That idea just went out the window.

But remembering her alt-life, she just protected the kid in the novel and didn't act like she was in love with him. Why the fuck did the readers think she was in love with him?!?! She likes someone else, ah! Someone closer to her actual age!!! She paused. Her eyes had a glint of melancholy before it disappeared. Actually, she hasn't seen him for a while now. Maybe she should go looking for him?

She tilted her head in thought. She nodded her head as she decided she would look for him after settling down a bit. She stood up and looked around, surveying the cave she was cultivating in. She had frozen everything when she had broken through.

She sighed as she stood there. Then she looked toward the bed. Then around the cave again. Then at the bed again.

She went toward the bed and lifted up the blanket.

She had to get out of here but only after a nap.