When Sally comes in for the next shift, I rush to scan my staff card at the counter and lock myself in the changing room. The room is dark, with a dampness in the air. I lean myself on a pile of boxes and clothes as I try to calm down from the interaction with James. I never knew talking to someone could be so frustrating and exhausting.
I know why I am frustrated. It must be James and how he has invaded my private life. A life that belongs to me, where I have full control of. There is a reason why I chose this convenience store to work at, because of the distance from school, because of the people here that I like, because of the respect I have from others, my seniors and colleagues. He is a thunderstorm that ruins the perfect summer, threatening me to leave the place, taking away my most precious relationships.
Knock knock. It is James, "Jessica, would it be okay for me to use the changing room?"
"Yeah." I wipe the tears away from the corner of my eyes. Unable to contain all the emotions, I let it flow. I only wish he doesn't see it when I leave the room, "Wait a moment." Picking up my staff-uniform from the hangers, I open the door. James stands right in front of me.
"Oh." We both say.
Hiding my face behind my hands, I dash to my locker. I just want to leave. I don't want to endure any more of this any longer. School bag, clarinet, jacket, phone. Okay, everything is ready now. I pick up my keys and turn the locker shut as James walks out of the changing room.
"Good bye, Sally." I run out to hug Sally, who is preparing a cup of cappuccino for a young lady at the counter.
"See you!" She turns around briefly to hug me. The warmth penetrates me and I feel like crying again. I look up at her.
"Thank you for being here for me." I whisper into her ears.
But should I greet James too? It would be rude to just leave.
James is folding his staff clothes carefully as if it is the utmost important artifact in his hands. Seeing me standing in his alley of lockers, he nods and returns to his folding business. I retreat to the coffee table and fill up the hot water to dissolve the powdered latte.
After about five minutes, the folding still continues as he fumbles his fingers awkwardly and finally mumbles, "There should be a guide book or manual for this stuff."
He really said that, I thought. But the more I try to contain my laugh, the more ridiculous it sounds. Finally, I reply to no one, "Why would anyone need a manual to fold clothes." The wooden demitasse spoon swirls in the current of the hot latte as I avoid his gaze.
"Well, I never have to do this kind of thing." James crosses his arms and grabs the shirts to throw them in the locker, but slowly places them on the upper compartment. He turns and comes towards the direction of the coffee table.
"This coffee is pretty good." Sipping in the coffee, I announce.
James drags out the chair opposite to me and sits down comfortably. Even now, when he seems worked up, he is nothing less than charming. He wipes his forehead with a handkerchief from his school pocket. Now, he dresses back in his school uniform. Reminding me of the intimidating version of him I meet in class everyday.
"Um, can you keep this a secret?" After scrolling through his phone for a couple of minutes, he asks. I know that he means the fact that he is working in this convenience store, but there is no reason that he should hide it, especially if he seems close to everyone else in class.
"Why should I? I barely know you." I scoff. I try to appear determined.
He puts down the phone and turns off the screen as he stares straight at me. In his eyes, a strange gentleness pours out, "See, they won't understand. I just want to continue living my life as it is."
"Isn't your life full of grandeur and wealth? You should continue to live it and shouldn't be here." I stare at him. I am aware that I just really want to make him feel bad, stuck, and sad just as I was in school.
"Well, it no longer is. Okay??" He tries to breathe out and remain as calm as possible, "Just don't tell them for now. I will try to be honest with you after school." As he says this, he marches out of the store and slams the door.