I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, my brain turns foggy and my chest tightens. The light in here was dim when we first came in but now seems to be getting brighter. Sweat pools on my top lip and my knees feel weak. Fantastic, i'm having a panic attack. I move over to a chair and place my head between my legs, this is not always a fail safe solution for me, but it sometimes helps. I feel them approach me and hear panic in Namjoon's voice as he orders Jimin to go and get me some water. My sweet little Jimin bolts out of the door without hesitation.
"Aimee, are you ok? Can you breathe? Namjoon says. He is trying to stay calm but his proximity to me makes my anxiety worse. I push him away and breathlessly say "just give me a minute please". I try sitting upright, shaking my arms and putting my head back, eyes closed. I breathe in for 3 and out for 4, in through my nose out through my mouth but it still doesn't work. I feel dizzy and like I am going to throw up, and then, I do!
The champagne and tequila make there way up my windpipe collecting in my mouth before being expelled and ending up all over the floor. Thankfully Namjoon had stepped back like I asked him, otherwise his shoes would have been redecorated al la Aimee vomit. I wipe my mouth and my chin and carry on trying to breathe, as Jimin comes back with water and Polly from the foyer.
"Ok gentlemen, why don't you both go downstairs to the white room and wait there. I will look after Miss Thomson" Polly comments. She has a soothing voice and I do think I can relax enough to sort myself out without them both here staring at me, hoping that I pick them instead of their friend. God this has backfired on me royally. Why did I think I could be happy. Why did I think the universe was finally giving me strength. They both go but I can tell they don't want to leave me.
"Miss Thomson, just breathe for me ok, nice deep breaths in and out. It's all going to be ok" she declares. I look at her, by now my makeup will have begun to run and no doubt I look a sweaty mess, but she places her palms on my cheeks and breathes with me. I concentrate on her and feel my breath hitch in my throat. My heart rate starts to even, I feel less dizzy and slowly I feel like I can breathe properly. "I'm ok now, thank you Polly" I assure her as I blow out a large gust of air from my mouth.
She releases my face from her hands and stands upright from her previously crouched position and asks "I hate to ask this Miss Thomson, but I have too. Did either one of your friends hurt you in some way?" I hear the concern in her voice and I know she is being cautious but reading the situation completely wrong. "Oh god no!" I reply. I lean down and pick up the water that Jimin left to the side of my chair and take a sip. "It's just my anxiety that's all. It got the better of me".
She looks at me and gives me a bright smile and nods her head. "Ok, is there anything else I can get you? Anything else you need?" she asks softly. I have a thought pop into my head, do I listen to it? I stand up and reach out for her hand and find myself saying "Can you get me a taxi so I can leave please?" She confirms that won't be a problem but queries if I want my friends to leave with me. "No".