Chapter 38
It has been about an hour since I left Leo sleeping in his house. It has been an hour of constant crying and walking. My feet began to ache. My eyes are all red from crying and my tears are already dry.
I tried waiting for a carriage to pass by but I seem to not find any. Riding Leo's horse crossed my mind but immediately shrugged it off since I don't know how to ride a horse in the first place. I even thought of asking Martha's son to ride the carriage for me but I will not risk of him telling Martha and Leo of my sudden leave.
I was about to run or hide behind the trees when I heard a carriage approaching.
Please, don't let it be Leo. If it's Leo then I am completely sure he'll stop me from leaving right now. From going to the Bennett manor and ask Jacob Bennett where the time machine is.
I tried walking really fast. I alternate d between walking and running but it was no use since obviously, I am no match for a horse.
When the carriage stopped in front of me and when the door flew opened. I don't know whether to be happy or sad.
I looked down on the ground, embarrassment creeping through me.
"What do you think you're doing?" She asked. I could sense frustration yet understanding in her very voice.
I did not replied as I turned to look at her for a second them focused my eyes to the ground once again.
"Hop in, child before Mister Finley wakes up," suggested Martha, patting the red leather seat beside her.
I shook my head, frowning and exclaimed, "I just don't want to break his heart more, Martha,"
Martha let out a soft sigh, "Look, isn't what you're doing right now, running away in the middle of the night, walking alone in the midst of dark roads are more likely to break his heart? Knowing him? He'll die from worrying about you, child so please, let's just go home and tuck you into bed,"
I bit my upper lip, shook my head for a second and said, "I'm sorry, Martha but I have to do this," and with that, I began walking, ignoring her stares behind my back. Pretending that Martha's not here despite the fact I badly want to hug her and apologize for what I did. To explain everything to her.
I know she's disappointed that I was the one who shot the Bennett family and she'll never look at me the same way as before.
I let out a loud screamed when suddenly, a pair of hands encircled under my armpits and lifted me.
When I turned to look at the person behind me, that's when I realize it was Martha's son who was now carrying me and is walking towards the carriage.
"Let go of me," I hollered but Martha's son remained hardheaded. I just can't go back to Leo's house and lay with him in that bed and hug him and kiss him knowing I can't stay. Knowing that there's no future for the two of us.
As soon as my butt touched the red leather seat and am sitting beside Martha, I let out a loud frustrated sigh.
"Mister Finley told me about what occured the night of the Bennett family's death," Martha began, folding her hands on her lap.
"One thing that never left my mind was the sight of him explaining all these to me, child. It was as if he felt responsible for all these, that he is blaming himself. I can sense guilt and suffering in him so please, talk to him," she added and then held my hand as she looked at me straight in the eyes.
I gulped for a second. I cannot believe Leo is blaming himself when in fact, he is not one to blame. He is the innocent here.
"Why?" I quietly asked, frowning and confused.
"Perhaps because he felt like he should be the one to protect you from them. Should've been the one who had the guts to pull the trigger to spare you from, I don't know, feeling bad about all these?" She answered.
I need to fix this. I just can't leave Leo knowing that he felt like this. I can't let him live with so much guilt on his shoulders.
But I need to be strong. If I go back right now then I knew I won't be leaving anymore. That a simple smile of his would make me stay here forever.
That's the thing, I need to be strong. I need to go back the Bennett manor and ask Jacob where the time machine is hidden so I could use it now.
"Ju-just tell him that nothing is his fault. That I chose this," I murmured at her as I readied myself to get off the carriage and went on with my journey.
However, Martha remained persistent. She did not let go of my hand and said, "and the same goes with you, my dear. The death of the Bennetts should be forgotten, don't let it haunt you. At what Leo told me, you were so brave bacj there, child,"
I nod at her, speechless. "I want you to know that I will not force you to go back with Leo but always remember that, I've been with Leo since he was a child, I watched Leo and Augustus grew up. Sure, I wasn't close to them since I am not their nanny but I knew from far away that Leo has a heart made of gold so please reconsider this,"
"I know, Martha. Leo was such a good man so I wouldn't be surprised if some other woman, far better than me, definitely worthy of his love married him," I replied as I forced myself to smile despite the fact I still cannot digest the idea of Leo being with other woman in a romantic sense.
With that, Martha slowly let go of my hand and nod, "my son here can take you to where you're going then,"
I quickly shook my head, "Don't bother, Martha. I am fine on my own,"
"Goodness heavens, child. I doubt you'll consider your state as fine in the next hours of constant walking,"
I gave Martha an embarrassed smile as I scratched my head for a second.
"Now, I better be going back, Clementine. It's only an hour-walk back, I've walked so much farther back at my hometown so don't worry. My son here will take you to where in heavens are you going," Martha exclaimed. She then kissed me in the cheek and opened the carriage door, slowly, she went off.
But before she could finalky leave me, she slid an envelope to my hands. "What's this for?" but Martha did not bothered replying.
And with that, I surrendered and just sat back on the red leather seat as the carriage began to start. I looked outisde and there, I saw Martha waving at me, with such a sad smile and there, she began walking opposite to us.
"Where to, miss?" Asked Martha's son. Her son is probably around Leo's age with such a thick blond hair. He does resembles Martha in his eyes and lips.
"Henry, right?"
He gave me a smile and nod, "Yes, miss,"
"Please, Clementine would do. Not like I am Queen Victoria," I replied as I let myself to chuckle for a bit despite the fact I am still worried and guilty about leaving Leo.
"To the Bennett's manor, if that's okay," I added and with that, Henry noded at me.
For the rest of the journey, all I ever did was think of Leo. Also, I am paranoid that when I looked outside, there I'll see Leo riding his white horse as he tried to stop me from leaving.
And as the journey was quiet, I stared at the envelope Martha just gave me a while ago. I slowly opened it and that's when I realozed it's another letter from Miss Dolores.
With shaking hands, I read the letter. It sadly informs me that before I was transported to the Victorian Era, Grandpa was already dying of ischaemic heart disease and that he refused to have a treatment and refused to told me about it. The doctors already gave him about three months to live and that the very reason why she decided to write this was because she's afraid of telling it to me face-to-face. When I flipped the paper, there I saw a note to Miss Dolores from herself and there it said, "Give this before Mister Wright's death,"
As soon as I finished it, my tears immediately fell down one by one and I covered ny mouth to stop myself from sobbing in fear Henry might hear and stop.
For hours and hours, i had been crying continuouy as memories of my grandfather kept flashing to my mind whoch made it all worse. It made me wanna curl up here and just cry.
But I know, a part of me wants to go back and wrapped my arms around Leo, seeking comfort from him as I always do.
I badly want to throw something. I hit something. I break something just as my hesrt is breaking now. I just want to release this emotions.
I must've been crying so hard for so long to the point the last thing I remember was sleep slowly consuming me with the letter clutching right to my chest.
I was awaken when I felt someone tapped me in the shoulder and when I opened my eyes, there I saw Henry in front of me.
"We have arrived, miss," he uttered as he offered his hand to me, helping me get off the carriage which I quickly accepted.
"Thank you, Henry,"
"Always happy to help," and I knew he must've noticed how red my eyes are from crying but decided to not comment about it which ma thankful for. He went back to the carriage and began walking off towards Leo's house.
Standing here, for some reason, I am nervous. As I entered the Bennett's manor, I knew right away that something felt wrong.
When I opened the gate all by myself, there I saw a couple of maids carrying brown suitcases walking towards me.
I gave them a sad smile when I realized they were looking at me. Believe me, I have no engergy to talk to someone but the least I could do to them was a smile.
I remember the three of them, they were assigned to work on the kitchen while the other one was always in the garden.
That's when I realized that they were giving me such harsh looks. Some were even raising their brows as they look at me from head to toe.
"Where are you off to?" I asked when we are only few meters apart.
"None of your business, whore," exclaimed the other.
" Why? So you could kill us as well?" The other one uttered.
" What are you talking about?" I asked them, confused.
"Don't play games with us, miss. We know you and Mister Finley have something to do with the death of the Bennett family. We are not fools and you know what, we lost our very jobs because of you," answered the slim blonde girl carrying two suitcases unlike the others who only had one.
"Yeah, some household staff even suggested that we should stone you to death, miss,"
I let my jaw dropped from what I just heard. "And Chef Florentino?"
The girl who is probay five years older than me laughed, "He said if ever you showed up in front of him, he will not hesitate to chop your head off,"
Wow.
"you know what, if only I have a sjovel with me. I will surely hit you with it for so many times until you fucking bleed," hollered the girl who was clutching her dress.
"I better get going," I uttered as I negan walking inside the house. Yet, I could feel their dagger looks behind my back. If only looks could kill then I am already dead.
"Goodluck sleeping at night, miss knowing that you've destroyed so many lives," I heard one of them hollered as I continued walking. Never did I looked back at them.
The last thing I heard was the sound of the gate closing behind me.
I knocked on the door thrice, waiting for other household staff to opened it but after a minute, no one answered. I guess they already left the manor.
To my surprise, the door flew opened and there stood Judy, dressed in an orange gown, her hair up.
Judy automatically wrapped her arms around me, "I am so glad to see you, Clementine,"
I returned her hug. "is your husband there?" I asked.
"is this about the whole time machine thing? My husband told me about it who was informed by no ither than my cousin." judy added as she began walking inside the living room and sat in one of the black couch.
I sat in front of her and tightened my cloak around me since the gown am wearing right now is kinda dirty from walking and it's also thin since it is designated for walking.
"To tell you the truth, Clementine. At first, I cannot believe what my husband was saying about you not really belonging in this era but then, our memories began piercing back together. First, rich bachelor men like Mister Guevarra does not fasinate you. You're ultimately shy on purchasing condoms when in fact, many Victorian ladies are all used to it. Also, one thing I've noticed was that, you know so little about cleaning. You cannot even use an iron powered by a coal very well," Martha uttered as she opened her arm, explaining.
"Tell me, child. What do you use in the future? Tell me about the future, please especially about fashion and hot men," she added, giving me such bright smile which somehow made me chuckle and forgot about the death of my grandfather and me, leaving Leo.
"Almost everything is powered by electricity, Judy in our time. Well, about hot men, sorry but I have little knowledge about it since my grandfather always locked me in our house," I answered as I tried not to cry at me, mentioning my grandfather.
"A-about fashion. Nobody pretty much wears these kind of clothings, Judy. Everyone is into shirts, pants, or skirt and when I mean, skirt, I mean it like above the knee type of skirt," I added.
At what I just said, Judy's eyes opened wide. " You mean like you, people like showing off your legs? But isn't that improper, not to be a prude, by the way,"
My cheeks turned red of what she just said. "Not really, some just chose to wear such short skirts and no, it's not really improper,"
Judy then let out a loud relieved sigh at my answered and was about to ask me more when we heard such loud footfalls and when we turned to look at the side, there I saw Jacob walking towards us.
Jacob went straight to his lovely wife and planted a kiss on her cheek. "What are you two talking about?"
"About the future, honey," answered Judy with such energy. Jacob then walked towards me and gave me a hug.
"I am guessing you are here for the machine," Jacob uttered as he went back to his wife and sat beside her. He then circled his arms around her.
"Actually, yes. Leo told me about it and I was thinking of using it right away before Leo could get here," I exclaimed.
And what I just said, Jacob cleared his throat while Judy was sad. "To be clear, I expected you to leave us as soon as Jacob told me all about the time travel but a part of me was hoping you'll stay, of course, for Leo,"
Now, that I think about it. I no lobge rhsve reasons to go back. Grandpa is already dead, I have no one yet a little part of me was still telling me to still go back. Hope that Grandpa is still alive despite the fact I know ut's impossible. That he's been dead for long now.
That perhaps, with all the fortune Grandpa left me, I could try having my own business. Perhaps, I could spent it in charity in honor of my late family but after that, when I am all alone in my house, then what?
I regret that I'll cry and cry when I finally realized that I am all alone. That I already left Leo and perhaps, he already had a wife or a children of his own.
I quickly shook the thought fron my mind as I forced myself to stop thinking of these things as just get on with the time machine.
I flinched from my seat when there was such loud knocks on the door. What if it's Leo?
Jacob rose from his seat and walked towards the door to open it. There, a man probably around my age stood wearing such clothes that had seen better days. He's clutching his hat in his chest.
"What can I for you, boy?" Asked Jacob.
"I work in the pub, sir and my boss told me to go here as fast as I can so you'll fetch Leo," answered the boy who wiped away his sweat as he catch for his breath.
"Why? What happened to him?" Asked Jacob, scratching his head for a second.
"He got at the pub last night with his horse and since then, he never left and just this morning, he got into a figh with three guys. Now, he's all bloody but still, he refused to back away from the fight,"
And with that, Jacob left the manor with the boy to fetch Leo.
Now, it was just Judy and I alone in the house. "My cousin has really fallen deeply in your spell, Clementine," exclaimed Judy followed by a chuckle.
The whole time, I was just looking at my lap as I felt another guilt because I knew it's my fault why Leo's in a fight.
"Believe me, I knew from the very beginning he has his eyes on you since I kept catching him staring at you but just decided to shrug it off though I knew this is somwthing I should be happy for because never did I once saw Leo eyeing someone like that," added Judy.
Still, I did not replied. "Please, I have a strong feeling you've heard this so many times from my cousin but please, stay. You're the only one he has, Clementine," Martha said as she held my hand.
I turned to look at her in the eyes, I could see hope in her eyes but that all went away when I shook my head and removed her hands.
"I am sorry but my decision if firm," was all I could say. For that, the room went quiet.
Judy was about to rose from her seat, I could tell. Perhaps, to fetch a tea or whatever when we heard the gate being opened.
Oh, hell. I forgot that the pub is near the manor. Leo must've went there when he did not found me here last night.
Thank God Henry had took the long road since he must've knew Leo will surely follow us and stop us.
With that, I quickly rose from my seat as I panic. I cannot let Leo to see me. I knew what he'll do.
I looked at Judy, held her shoulders with such force and said, "Don't tell Leo I am here, please,"
Judy gave me such confused look. " What should I tell when he asked me about you? Of course, he knew you went here,"
"Then tell him I already went back to the future," I hurriedly replied and was about to run upstairs when Judy held my arm, stopping.
"What? Are you out of your mind? He'll be hysterical, Clementine," Judy exclaimed, frowning as she gave me such sad looks.
But I gave no reply. Not even a nod or a sad smile and with that, Judy surrendered. She let go of my arm and with that, I run upstairs to hide.
Following with that, I heard the door flew opened with such rush. With that, Judy's loud screamed can be heard in all places inside the manor.
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Guys, up to now, to be honest, I am trying to decided whether I should write a VERY mature scene of Leo and Clementine. Hahaha.
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOWWWWWWWWWW.
Also, I am very, very sorry for not keeping to my word and updating. I know it's been a month but I was a bit busy since school started.
Anywayssssss, I will just be writing the last two chapter of the book next, next week, I hope. :)
God bless!