I woke up with a jolt at the sound of my alarm. Oh my God I'm late. I roll out of bed, almost falling while at it . I run to the bathroom, take a quick shower and go straight to do my ironing.
Yes, I don't iron a day before since I'm not a perfectionist like Kaitlyn!. I take stuff slow , real slow . Oh God I'm learning this ambiguousness from my boss .
Then it hit me . It hit me like a train with faulty brakes .It hit me like the thought of Donald Trump winning and becoming president. It hit me so hard my legs felt weak. Everything that happened a day before came rushing back so fast and so hard that I felt light headed. I just lost my job. At one side I was quite disappointed but on the other I was really relieved and happy. "I don't have to see those faces again", I say to myself.
I walk to my bedroom and fall face flat on my bed . Screaming with all my might in the pillow my head just fell in.
Yeah, that's how we ladies deal with sh*t like this.
I touch my forehead and realise the bump is all gone ."No more doomsday", I say with a smile while I remember how I must have caused my boss to be double impotent , if thers any word like that . I close my eyes and relax myself , I've been through a lot lately but the funny thing is that it never gets to me . Maybe because I had made peace with my parents death .Wow I mastered inner peace at such a young age, I really need to start a dojo class . I laugh at the thought.
I still can't shake off the pair of Hazel eyes I met the night before. That was actually the first time I hit on a guy, not that he even noticed but I ended up breaking his nose and jamming his head juices . If that's how its going to be, then the hot guys around me better watch out. Maybe next time I might accidentally ram a bazooka through one of their chests . It's a shame I'm never gonna see Hazel eyes again tho .
"Heck I don't even know his real name!"
I sit up on the bed and check the clock . 8:30." Ok Mandy, you're the fastest, most efficient and smartest lady on earth and you're gonna get a job even if it kills you". I mentally tell myself pushing out the negativity of what my impotent boss told me in his office. I dress up with a pair of jeans and a bright yellow shirt. I turn around to see if my ass had gained a few pounds over the day. It seemed the noodles has been paying off, or its just my head. I take a breakfast of cereal with milk and whisk an apple from my fruit tray as I head outside . The sun slapping me with its glory as I desperately search my bag for my sunglasses . Summer is really hell, well for me.
I walk through the busy streets of New York, keenly looking for job signs on window panes and doors and for the past twenty minutes , all I'm seeing is blurred lines. I give up in the search and sit on a pedestrian bench to take a sip of a soda I just bought when a fat woman comes to sit by me, almost raising me at the other side. I continue to look straight ahead,not bothering to turn my head when I hear some one say "why the hell are u staring at me". Of course I don't bother because it obviously isn't me but I feel a sharp poke on my shoulder and turn only to see a fat face looking dead at me and asking me why I'm staring .
" I'm no judge but that woman's face looked like dough that couldn't be mixed well because the water was too much .I know that's a horrible picture but from what I'm seeing , I think I even sugar coated it too much".
Fat face asks me again,this time letting me know that it was me she was referring to. "I am not even peeking at you madame" I say in a pleading manner, trying to sound nice. "You were you liar", she snaps back . "You're staring at me because I'm too beautiful for you to handle, but I'm sorry to tell you that I'm no lesbian".
"Wait , what?! Did I just hear this face cross of a dinosaur slash baboon call herself pretty? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder but for this beauty, I'm not sure anyone would behold not even the teenage mutant ninja turtles". And she thinks I'm lesbian?!.
Seeing that I'm just being irritated for nothing by a pizza looking human made me stand and walk away because I really didn't wanna patronize the old dinosaur. I walk across the street to a book store where I see a"Job available sign hammered on the door".
"Why does my life have to always revolve around paper for Christ sake?!. Well its worth a shot and I'm taking it ".
I enter the book store with so much enthusiasm that no ne would tell you that I was Jobless. The interior of the store was slick clean, the books were neatly arranged and the floor smelt of hard oak. Business looked good since I haven't seen this amount of people at a book store.
I head over to the counter to see a gentleman manning the cash deposits and giving the buyers what they purchased. He had an overgrown beard and a protruding belly, the only difference from him and Santa clause was that he didn't smile and he sure didn't come from the north pole.
"Honestly , he strikes me as an upgraded hobo. Give a hobo a suit and tie and he'll still look like a hobo, I don't know how they pull that look off ."
"I believe you're here for a job right, Lady "? He asks me in a grumpy voice. "Is it that obvious I ask, fidgeting with my nails so I don't trike as shy. He just stares at me and gives a light chuckle. "Well it depends on the sort of job you want " as he bobs the "B" and winks an eye.
"What in the...Did this hobo just hit on me? No really? Is he implying that I give him a--.I think I'm gonna be sick. Is this how Mr . Hazel eyes felt when I hit on him? No,no I wasn't this nasty.
I regain my composure with a smile. "What job is really available", I ask him. "You'll be the sales woman, right under me". He says and winks with a naughty grin.
"Ok if this guy doesn't stop, I'll break his nose" I've had enough experience on how to do that!.
I give him a fake laughter which he didn't quite catch and laughs back rather happily, thinking that's an approval to what ever hidden demands he might have given. "You take a look around and see the contents, if you're interested in the job you tell me so we talk about your payment since I'm also the boss here. My eyes widen at the thought oh him as a boss. I had a feeling I'll be reporting him to the police soon. Nevertheless I take a look around and of course go straight to the comic books section.
The shelves were quite high and were neatly arranged from the corner of my "soon to be boss", all the way to the other side where I stood alone staring at the comics. It seemed people don't come to this section much. They don't know what they're missing. I see a premium edition dragon ball comic stacked neatly in the racks, I prep my fingers to pull it out but it appears stuck. So I choose to go ninja style. I raise one foot a the shelf at the shelf and push it forward while I pull the comic book with all my strength.
"I give a slight "kameeenkaamen ahhh" to make it look more dramatic .Something that Goku would do."
Finally the book springs lose but the force of the push was a little too much as I send the shelf toppling over another over another. There are screams emanating from the book store as I stand there stricken with shock with the comic shaking in my hands. Everyone seems to get out of the way except for hobo boss, he looks up and makes a move but is too late. The shelves hit him in the face and literally bury him in books. He was literally buried in a sea of knowledge, its a shame osmosis didn't work that way or he would have been pretty smart when he wakes up, that's if he wakes up.
"Now who's the one under who"!.
Out of nowhere the community police barge in and ask the cause of the accident and everyone points at me . Wow I never knew they saw my dragon ball action . They have no idea what an honor it was for them to see sheer awesomeness. The other police men work to take the heavy shelves off hobo boss as I feel a handcuff over my hands and I'm marched to the the police car . "this is all a big misunderstanding" I tell the officer but he's in no position to hear it . I see a paramedic rush into the room then I sense it was a little bit more serious than I thought . I sit in the car and blow my hair out of my face with one huff .
"So much for job hunting".
~••~
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