He bursts inside his room, burning with rage and anger but mostly pain. Why is he feeling that way? He don't care about anyone? Why did he started to care? …care about her.
He felt a wave of tiredness and his eyes felt heavy, he crawled to bed after breaking everything in his way, between warm sheets he drifted to sleep…deep sleep.
She walked with heavy steps to her room, feeling sad, mad at herself even though they know well their relation from the beginning have no positive outcome. Then why she is overthinking that much? Why did she felt hurt when he called her Miss Chace? Why did he act cold toward her?
Too many questions with no answers, one drifted to sleep because of anger or maybe his body gave up on him after all this stressful period and the other one spent her restless night staring at the ceiling blaming herself for a fault or saying the hurtful truth.
He woke up, drowsy and sleepy even though he slept more than usual, the pain banging inside his head is killing him, his hair is messy so is his room. But the most prominent thing he is feeling is emptiness…he feels nothing, hollow like an abyss.
He dragged his legs to the bathroom, between fallen and broken object everywhere, he didn't mind that he injured his leg with glass he didn't care. He washed his face and fall down when he saw himself in the mirror.
Black hair.
He passed his fingers through his hair and rubbed his eyes multiple times but nothing changed.
He forced himself to turn his hair white but it was hard; why now? He used to do it effortlessly but now, he almost fainted, sweat all over his face and unsteady breath.
He still got a strand of black hair in front of his face, he just took out the mirror and throw it at the marble floor and walk out.
He throw himself on the bed and closed his eyes hoping he could feel better or at least feel something.
The maid got in breaking his moment of silence, she gasped when she saw the room and the bleeding feet of the prince.
"-your highness you are bleeding!
-get out.
-But your highness you…
-GET OUT." He yelled at the top of his lungs with his eyes glowing like two balls of red flame and his voice was dark and scary that the maid bowed and hurried outside.
She woke up and got ready with the first rays of sunlight, she went to the garden and kept practicing and when she saw Ayana walking between the halls outside her room.
"-good morning…
-I need your help…alone please" Mal said panicked with eyes full of sorrow and sadness. Ayana waved for the maids to leave them alone.
"-what happened?
-I fought with Kieran.
-what's the new thing.
-not like our usual stupid fights…this time I messed up and I said something I shouldn't say.
-what did you told him?
-I can't tell you everything…I am sorry.
-It's fine just tell me what did you say that he got upset with you?
-I…I told him that he don't know what emotions mean and that he won't understand what does it mean to feel hurt…but I end up hurting his feelings, he yelled at me, told me that I broke his trust, warned me to not to talk to him and keep things professional between us." Ayana knew well that Mal triggered his other side but she just patted Mal's shoulder and showed her the usual warm smile that makes anyone feel at ease.
"-Well i can't blame you more for your dead cause you are already drowned in guilt but I will tell you something about him that he don't won't anyone to know. it will help you understand eachother better.
-but what if he got mad than he already is when he found out.
-He and Ellie told me about your parents and we didn't even ask for your consent. Add to that, you really messed up and you have to listen to me now.
-thanks for keeping my hopes high that he will forgive me.
-he will I am sure…the good thing is that you left him to relax and didn't talk to him.
-why?
-you shouldn't talk to him right away when he is angry…for everyone's benefit. Anyway let's talk while walking.
-so what should I do?
-you will figured out yourself. Kieran's childhood wasn't that great even though I found out recently that we all had bad childhood but it reflected differently on our behavior. Some walk out of it and their core didn't change. Some gain trust issues like you and him. And some can't figure out their emotions so they decide to ignore it.
-so Kieran is the type who decided to ignore his emotions.
-no he is the type who grow up without them, neglecting them, that the only feelings he is leaving with or at least he acknowledged are sympathy sometimes and trust that you broke successfully. Congratulations.
-thank you for making me feel better.
-you are welcome…as I was saying, uncle Persus was really tough on him, he didn't allow him to cry, confess pain or feel hurt. On the other hand, his mom was showing him love from time to time, hug him, kiss him but most of the time she could be more authoritarian than his dad. He was attached to his mom even though he was mistreated by her but he forgot it once she call him with an endearment or ruffle his hair or let him play with hers…once his mother died he become emotionally unstable, he felt empty, lonely. His father blamed him for his mother death that makes him feel even worse about himself. He decided that he don't deserve happiness or he will drag everyone with him to hell.
-but aren't you friends since childhood that…
-he only look at me like someone he grow up with and can tell him his problems knowing it will stay safe but he won't trust me with his life like he did with you, he won't trust me with his feelings like he did with you…Kieran is not the type that he would care about someone's feelings or even try his best to help him with his trauma.
-he didn't care about your feelings?
-our relation is based on respect but when he is wrong or accidentally hurt me he admit his fault and apologize sincerely. "Mal stooped for a while and looked through the window at the garden felling more shameful about herself.
"-what should I do?
-have you thought about apologizing?
-well…I don't know I don't want him to…
-even after what happened, you still hesitating to apologize because he might reject you." Ayana said sternly crossing her arms and Mal just looked down closing her eyes then took a deep breath before she said with determination:
"-I will do my best for him to forgive me.
-that's the answer I was looking for…you know someone should break your ego guys for the best." They both started to laugh when the maid interfered your conversation.
"-sorry for bothering your majesty the king Persus send a messenger and your father is waiting for you in the big hall."…