I was surprised that Alma told this to Vera, she must think it was irrelevant.
"He is already giving you gifts? That's a good sign. Is it old?" Vera went on quickly, almost stifling Alma with her questions.
Hmmm!
Vera thought about it more than I had. For me it was natural that the box should belong to Alma. It had chosen her. This was a girl thing!
"Oh, yes! Very," said Alma. "What's more, it had once belonged to..." She bit her lip, preventing the words from leaving her mouth and Vera, suddenly distracted by the appearance of another student, did not notice that the sentence had stopped. She turned, irritated, back toward Alma.
"It must be valuable. That's even better. I think he loves you," she said quickly without realizing the scope of her words.
"Me too," Alma spoke slowly, looking thoughtful. "But it's so hard to say. I don't know... He's so mysterious," she continued.
I was on the edge of my seat, my body rigid and immobile. I had not been as transparent and out of control as I thought. But still, she was a good observer.
How could she not realize that I was in love with her?
I was almost surprised not to have said these words out loud. And her words - "me too" - did she mean that she loved me also or, just that she thought I loved her?
How could I be sure?
"I don't know how you do it. You're pretty brave to be alone with him," said Vera.
"What do you mean?" Alma replied.
The shock was immediately apparent on Alma's face. What a weird reaction!
"Did you see his appearance? How can you sit beside a guy like him and make conversation? Or walk down the street at his side? I'd pass for a fool in front of someone like him for sure! I wouldn't even see the holes in the pavement while walking and I would fall."
Alma smiled. "I don't have a problem, if I don't look at his eyes, I mean." She was trying to reassure Vera. She was always unusually self-confident even when we were together.
"That must be difficult," Vera sighed. "He is incredibly beautiful, and I would say, I don't know, amazing."
Alma's face froze. Her eyes sparkled with the same feeling of injustice. Vera did not sense her change of expression. "It's much more than that," Alma said.
What was she going say?
"Interesting! Really? How so?"
Alma was biting her lips. "I can't really explain it," she said finally. "It's not just..." She looked away from Vera, her eyes slightly veiled while she seemed to focus on something distant. Her eyes grew heavy and her inner turmoil made her heart beat faster, as if something serious was consuming her.
"His body then?" Vera laughed. Alma was not looking. She stared at the horizon, ignoring Vera. I found my feelings and my distance in her attitude. "Does he please you?" Vera continued unabated.
I was tense again. Alma did not look back at Vera yet.
"Yes."
"Really, I mean?"
"Yes."
"How?" Vera asked.
I heard the sirens of a fire truck three blocks away and I thought my car had caught fire. Alma's face was bright red now and I could feel the heat emanating from her - the smell tickled my nostrils.
"Outrageously," she murmured. "More than he likes me, I fear."
How did she come up with this conclusion? What did it mean? What should I understand from it? I needed a rational explanation of these words. I could take nothing for granted. Obvious things, perfectly logical - for me at least - were reversed in her reasoning.
More than he likes me?
I cringed. I was no longer capable of taking things as they were. I relaxed when I saw Alma take her bag and hang it over her shoulder. They did not exchange another word, but Vera was staring at Alma. Vera opened her mouth, but Alma was faster.
"Call me if you want," Alma said, a smile at the corner of her lips. She had found her apparent calm.
"You're leaving? What are you going to do?"
"I will think about it." She seemed delighted.
"You won't see him?"
"He was supposed to come, but I see he's not here! I will go."
"Are you kidding, I hope—"
I could not learn anything more today, obviously. Alma smiled as if she thought the same thing.
"Later!" Alma said, waving her hand at Vera.
She turned away from her friend, in the opposite direction. I would make sure to elicit more response than Vera.
I turned the engine on and the car turned slowly into the street. I knew that at the corner, Alma would cross to head for the subway. I rejoined her when the light turned red. She crossed slowly, dragging her feet, and turned her head toward the car, but it was as if she had not seen me. She began to walk faster towards the subway.
I sprung, like a vortex of air and flames, from the car and caught her by the elbow.
"Where do you think you're going? Tell me?" I could not handle watching her get away from me. I tried to keep a shadow of a smile on my face, wiping away a look of despair at the last second.
"But I...! Get off me! You're hurting me!"
"Excuse me," I said, embarrassed. "I'm sorry! I was waiting for you and then I saw you with Vera. I didn't dare interrupt your conversation..."
"Hmm," she said.
The light turned green and horns sounded one after the other.
"You risk a fine," she said, frowning.
"Yes, let's go." I grabbed her hand gently.
She did not resist and took a seat next to me. Sensing that I was going to ask her questions, she led the conversation quickly to Vera. "She wanted to know if we were… together," she said slowly.
"That's it?" I said slyly.
"That's it!"
I gave her a sidelong glance and a raised eyebrow. "Really?" She blushed and bit her lower lip. "You know, you're not a good liar. What did you say?"
"As if you didn't already know!" she answered quickly and she turned her head to look out the window.
"I think you told her yes. Does that bother you?"
"No," she murmured. Her heart had not yet returned to its normal rhythm.
"What else?"
She swallowed hard before continuing: "And she wanted to know what you feel for me."
"Me or you?" I bit my tongue to keep from laughing.
She looked at me with her eyes wide open and deceptively innocent. Alma was now being ingenuous. She raised her head and turned.
"Um," she murmured.
"Well! I admit, I heard your answer to this question."
I could no longer hide my smile now. Her eyes narrowed. I held my laughter on seeing the shock appear on her face.