As I opened the door, I almost had a heart attack! Kaios was there standing and about to knock. His hand fell of the surface.
I held my chest while taking a support on the doorknob.
"Reina?"
I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm here."
"Did I scare you?" he asked worriedly. "I'm sorry... I'm about to knock but I don't feel the door anymore."
"Cause I opened it before you do."
He scratched his neck, feeling embarrassed.
"Oh yeah."
"Why are you here by the way?" I asked him. Well, I opened the door just to peek if someone's coming or what...just kidding, I peek just to see if Nurse Kim is coming, you know, I'm about to go to his room but I don't want to be in the same room with her.
"Asking you if you're coming with me on the rooftop cause you know..." he cleared his throat, with the movement of his lips i know he's kinda anticipated. "You know what, I have a news for you."
"O-oh."
"I want to tell you this morning but you seems so cold and distant." he smiled.
"Oh..." I bite my lips. "W-what is it?"
"Rooftop?"
He offered his hand. I look back, Noah gave me a nod while Kamden have that teasing smile.
"Okay."
I placed my hand on his. The side of his lips risen and hold my hand.
Both of us walked on the empty hallway holding each others hand and dragging our dextrose.
Cold breeze from the silent night hugged my body when we opened the door. It's too cold yet it's a beautiful night. Stars aligned beautifully with a cresent moon who's gold-alike.
Just like before, we take place on the floor and seated comfortably next to each other.
"I don't know if you'll be glad or I don't know..." he spoke.
"Uh-uh?"
I suddenly became nervous.
"A week or two, I'm going home. I'm fully healed, just need some monitoring so I'm going to stay here for some time." his lips formed into a thin line, smiling.
"Oh...w-wow, that's great to hear." I said even though i don't feel that way. I'm left all alone agai--
"You're left all alone again." he said.
Is he worrying about me?
Oh geez! he shouldn't! I'm fine all alone!
But my mind says different.
I chuckled without emotions.
Why did I even fall in love with the patient next door where all I know there will be a time that he's going to leave and I must act that I'm fine all alone despite of getting used with him everyday.
"Ow... About that? It doesn't matter anyway. I'm getting used to it. It's fine."
"You sounded--"
"It's fine!" I cut his words. I don't wanna hear anything anymore, it's making me feel so down thinking that I'm getting used to see him all the time but he's already leaving. "I'm happy that you're going home... but are your arms are really okay?"
"Uhuh...yep, they're fine. I wouldn't hold your hand if it's not." he chuckled.
"Oh...yeah, you're right." I chuckled and then...I sighed. "I didn't even noticed that a lot of months passed by and you're going home."
"Hmm."
"I'll be fine alone again...but, what about your eyes? You're a lawyer and you can't see anything, what will happen?" I opened up a topic. I don't want this conversation to focus on me being alone in this floor again.
"They're finding a donor, as long as I can wait, I'll be patient. I'm going to stay home with my younger siblings and a personal nurse...a guy nurse." he respond.
"Don't you miss your work?"
"You don't know how I missed roasting their butts on the courtroom, Kiddo." Kaios chuckled and shook his head.
"Really?"
"Mmm."
If that's the case...
"Then, I'm willing to give you my eyes! I'll be happy if you're going to take it." I said to him. Honestly, It's fine with me being blind cause I know I won't be able to survive any more further. And I don't know, but last night, when I'm brushing my hair--a lot of my hair keeps falling.
"Crazy. You're really a crazy kid." he shook his head and look up to the sky.
"No... I'm serious. I'm really serious about it."
His face became serious all of the sudden. His jaws clenched in tension while looking above making his jaws looking so good from my sight.
"You know, my life is useless anymore. They never told me how critical I am but I still know about it and I know I couldn't hold anymore longer than I can... I know I'll lose my life... I want this eyes to see everything despite of me not owning it anymore so I'm giving it to you. Call me crazy or what I would rather give you my eyes. And with that, you can see me before I became breathle--"
"Stop that talking." he cut me off.
"O-oldie." I whispered, almost crying. I just realized how open am I when I'm talking to him.
"Don't speak about giving your eyes to me." he hissed sarcastically. "That's bullshit."
"B-but, you're going--"
"I don't care if I'm back to seeing things again and I don't fucking care if I can't. Just don't fucking tell me those." he's too cold when he said that, he want to shut me down.
"Kaios."
"It's useless. Keep your eyes, you love seeing everything. You just can't give it to a stranger you just met months ago."
"But you're not a stranger to me!" I affirmed. This guy is really unbelievable! We're friends after all! I can give my eyes to him...i really can.
"I am." He coldly respond.
I'm disappointed because Kaios didn't accept what I giving..but I forgot that disappointed when i feel it was replaced with pain.
Tears pooled around my eyes. I keep my silence and hugged my legs.
"Reina..."
I didn't respond to his calling.
I don't want him to hear me sobbing.
"Your silence is bothering me again." he sighed.
"I want you to take i--"
"No." he cut me off immideatly.
I already made up my mind...I don't need this eyes anymore, if it was with him, these eyes of mine could see things I never saw before.
"But..y-you need this." I gulped to stop my voice from cracking.
"Go on, force me with that stuffs all you want but I won't accept it. I rather die than accepting your eyes."
I couldn't hold anymore longer.
"Why don't you accept it?! I already made up my mind! I don't need this freaking eyes of mine! My heart had a freaking battery, it's a serious matter and that means...my heart had irregular beating! I don't need these eyes when I'm dying." I cried.
"You had a pacemaker surgery?" he couldn't believe it.
I had that freaking surgery but there's nothing new! Once I became breathless I collapsed! then waking up in ICU and when I opened my eyes, my parents face welcomed me with so much fear...I don't want to see that anymore.
"Y-yes, three years ago if I'm not mistaken."
"You're going to live more, you're too stupid to think that you're going to die." he said and brushed his hair frustratedly from explaining to me and letting me know he doesn't need my eyes.
"Cause I am!" I affirmed. I stood up and wiped my tears furiously.
Kaios took a deep sigh and stood up too. Facing me with the most serious face I never saw before. It's way more to serious that he was when we first met--where he always pushed me away.
He held my arm and pulled me towards him. Closing the spaces between us he cage me on his arms.
My face heated feeling the warmth on his arms and body.
"I want you to see me." He said and hugged me tightly. "I want to see how you looked at me with those eyes. I'm hoping for that time, Reina. Please don't forbid me."
My heart suddenly beat so fast that I burry my face on his chest because of embarrassment that he might hear how it beats so loudly
"M-my heart.... Kaios...my heart." I whispered.
He pulled away from me immideatly, I look up to him. I saw how he panicked.
"We need to go back."
He's about to go when I held his arm to stop him.
"Why do you always have this effect on me?" I asked him. I guess, this is the best time to tell him what I feel towards him because he's leaving.
Kaios froze on his place.
"It literally hurts me... Seeing you kissed by a woman... I know it's reasonable enough that she can do anything to you and I'm just unreasonable because I'm saying this... I don't know but for sure, I...i...i already...f-fall for you... I-i'm sorry... I don't intend to love you....but I just did." I fucking confessed. I already had audacity to accept what I feel and what I have towards him!
His jaws clenched. "Y-you fall for me."
A lot of words are coming out from my mouth but that phrase is the only words that came out from his mouth, what a great guy.
Then I continued. I won't waist anything since I have all the guts to confess and to accept this rejected and denied feelings I had towards him.
"I'm sorry, I just can't help it but to tell you this...but I respect you... I respect everything you have... Is it just me who fall for the first time in a man in unexpected way... Well, I didn't even notice that I'm falling..." my voice suddenly tone down.
He's too silent.
I feared it.
"Maybe, it's not a mistake to tell you this." I chuckled but I'm hurting. "I just want to unleash this heavy loads I have in my heart...and I confessed to you because I want to get rid of it. It's impossible for the both of us to be together and I know that... Is just, uhm..i just want you to know..."
I let go of his arm and turned my back from him. Right now, I badly wanted to become a potato who's underneath the soil.
"I'll go now, Thank you for listening. I won't bother you anymore. I guess, that's what you like."
How stupid of me to be hopeful that he will call me. I keep my steps so tiny! I keep assuming that everything that I said have sense to him! But how can those words have sense to him when I know that he only thinks of me as a FRIEND and a KIDDO who always bother him!
"Reina Constancia."
Oh wow, that's fast...and do you know what's more faster? The beating of my heart.
I stopped from walking through the distance. My legs are wobbling and I almost lost my balance but all thanks to the dextrose I can pull up myself to stand still.
"Y-yeah?" I turn around to face him.
"I love you."
My heart dropped...so as my jaws that I need to held my chin therefore i can close my mouth.
"If do you think, you're still a bother for me... Well you're not." his ears are all red. "I'm longing for your presence. I never knew I loved you before I met you... Hearing your voice from the other room made my heart beat."
My heart is throbbing.
"But you always pushed me."
"Cause I don't want to push myself in a limit where I'll be creepy to you. I don't want to be manipulative. You know," he chuckled trying to get away from the embarrassment. "a guy who's just arrived automatically liked someone from the other room despite of hearing her voice."
My heart skipped a beat.
"What you said is enough for me to assure you that I love you... I'm sorry if you saw that... I don't feel any romantic way towards her.... Nurse Kim..." he massage his nape. "cause in the first place, we're done and I no longer desire for us to get back together because I found you...and hearing you saying you won't bother me anymore, is enough for my heart to ache...
I won't last a day without you, Reina."
Oh it was really his ex, the twins are not talking shits to me.
"A-are you s...serious?" I gasped.
"You know, I badly wanted to confess to you before, but I'm afraid of the consequences. It's been a lot of months that we know each other and for those months before now I'm always undenial for what I feel towards you... you're a kid." he laughed. "Honestly, I don't want your love because of the gap that we had but on my mind right now, fuck that age gap... I don't freaking care anymore. I loved you first and I know that but I'm afraid that I might disrespect you...so, as long as I can hold this mouth of mine to talk how love you, I'll hold...but now that you told me you're falling for me...." He paused and smiled.
"I plea guilty for loving you."