I'm sitting on my hospital bed; my hands are placed on my side as my feet naughtily keep swinging. I'm bored and not knowing what to do since I couldn't grab a chance to sneak out from my room because it's already night and it might freaked out some of my nurses who's keeping an eye on me. Besides, it's already night, I can even see how the stars align and shines on the dark skies where full moon joins them beautifully—besides again, I don't want them to forbid me from eating chocolate if I won't follow them.
I'm Reina Constancia Vargas, a 17-year-old teen whose living in this hospital for more than a decade, back when I was five, I was diagnosed with a heart failure that really made my family isolated me from going outside. Manila is somehow messy and of course a polluted one so it is really bad for my health. Sometimes, I'm having a tantrum because they won't let me out but they're always giving me reasons why I shouldn't roam outside that made me realize some things where I would stop from complaining and understand situations.
I made a lot of friends in here, mostly my doctor and nurses. Somehow, for staying here for most of my life, I'm not friends with some other patients because they are somehow not too friendly—well not all, I have some friends but they passed away.
I yawned.
I stretched and hoped down from the bed. I grab my dextrose pole with a wheel and dragged it with me to the bathroom.
This is how my life rotates for 12 years of staying here in this four-corner room. I'm taking my breakfast, lunch, and dinner with my dextrose. I showered with my dextrose, I get dressed with my dextrose, I pee with my dextrose, I poo with my dextrose, I sleep with my dextrose and when I open my eyes, I'm with my dextrose again.
I peed inside and immediately went out from the bathroom after hearing noises outside my room. Probably, my nurses taking someone here, how I wish it's a new patient so that I have a new friend to talk with and I hope he or she is not a snob.
I removed some strands of my natural ginger hair that keeps bugging my sight and walked slowly in order for me not to get in trouble.
My condition is getting worse therefore I should be careful. I had my heart transplant when I was in ten years old, I thought I would be fine for more than a decade without coming back in this hospital but I was wrong. I'm living here despite of having new heart. I didn't get a chance to see how beautiful outside. I didn't get a chance to roam around freely but at least I'm alive. Having a short period of outside before is a blessing for me but that made y condition worse.
I badly wanted to live; I badly want to enjoy what's the true meaning of life where freedom is always with you. I have a lot of things that I want to discover. I have a lot of places in my mind that I want to visit. I still have a dream with me that I badly wanted to make it real. Besides, I still don't have my first kiss. I don't want to die with a virgin lip, geez.
I opened my door and peeked outside.
My room is located at the fourth floor of the Hospital which was owned by my Parents. I'm staying in a presidential room where everything is here, to food, comfort, nurses and whatsoever. In short, I have everything in here. How lame that I have everything but can't still be assured If I'm going to live longer than what everyone is expecting
The hallway's light is still open, probably, someone's coming. I mean, a new patient is coming.
I walked outside but not too far away from my door. I saw both of my parents talking with someone. As expected, a new patient is coming. My parents are doctors, so as my brother, but he is not here. Well, he hates me that's why he's is not here. He probably doesn't want to see me.
My father saw me standing.
I smiled and mouthed. "I love you."
There is no time that my parents did not gave me the best medics and care and that made me realize how lucky I am. And, I know that a simple 'I love you' is not enough. But, sometimes, I'm hurt that they can't give their full time towards me, I still feel their love but I'm still craving for attention and their time, but, just like I always told to myself, I always understand them. They're doing everything just for me and I should be contended with that.
My father gave me a warm smile. "I love you too"
He pointed the door behind me. I saluted and automatically entered. I know what's he wanted to say that's why I followed, every time I'm insisting to follow, he always told me that a monster might swallow me but I'm not a kid anymore who believes in fantasy. I'm not a fool.
I hopped on the sofa and wait for them to see me. Hour didn't even pass when my parents entered. They have a smile plastered on their faces but I know that, behind their smiles are tiredness.
"Mom, Dad. Someone's there?" My eyes sparks when both of them nodded. "So, I have my new friend now?" a glint of excitement is written on my voice, it's been ages since someone's here. I'm all alone.
A smirk appeared on my lips. I'll make him my friend therefore I won't live in boredom. I can't even hold a phone for too long because they're taking a good care on my eyes. But, every time I got a chance to play with my phone, I'm playing a video games with a mic on. I'm opening my mic to have a trashtalk with my enemy just to tease.
My mother seated beside me and stroke my hair gently. "Mmm, there is someone on the other room. His conditions are way more different than those previous patients."
Mommy kissed my forehead and hugged me beside.
"So, why is he different?" I asked them. "Is he part of Area 51's aliens?" I grew my eyes bigger; I pursed my lips and flare my nose. I look so stupid.
My father chuckled, he also sat beside me and hugged both of Mom and I. "He's blind, RC. He got into an accident that's why he lost his vision totally but a transplant will do to let him see again."
I nodded and pouted. I feel sympathy. "That's all his damage?" I asked out if curiosity.
"He broke his arm and spine. That means, it will take a lot of months for him to recover totally, but with his vision, he will probably stay here more than a year. Just like you, we're also finding a donor, not for the heart but for his eyes." Daddy explained. I gave him a nod to let him know that I understand everything he said.
"But, how's his eyes? Is it hurting him?" I bend my thumb and covered it with my other fingers.
"Just like what daddy said, it's still under monitoring and as fast as we could, we're finding his donor. It will be hard for him to accept that his vision is no longer with him." My mother sighed.
"Can I go to the patient?" I asked with a hopeful voice.
"Reina, it's late. Kaios is resting..."
Kaios is his name, I wonder what he would look and I wonder if he's old or younger than me. I'm now swallowed by curiosity.
"You can't be there. Besides, he's kinda cold-blooded but hot-tempered so it's not good to enter his room. You should sleep by now, it's too late for you." Dad added on his words.
I pursed my lips and nodded.
"Okay, I'll go there the other day." I spoke.
Just kidding. I won't follow, Hehe.
"Alright." Both of them stood up. "We'll go now."
They bid a goodbye that really made my heart flinched. I want them to stay but they have to work so I nodded. They felt my sadness about them leaving. Both of them chuckled and walked towards me. They gave me a hug and a warm kiss on my cheeks.
"I love you po, Mom, Dad." I spoke and hugged them back. I wanted to cry but it's not appropriate because I'm nearing to become an adult.
"I love you too, baby." They replied.
They smiled and let go of me.
They bid a goodbye kiss and turn their backs on me. I watched them walked towards my door. They're about to go out when I remembered something, so I called them.
"Mom. Dad?" They faced me again after I called them.
"Hmm?"
"Seven months left; I'll be eighteen." I smiled and gather a small amount of my hair and olaced it on the back of my ear.
Both of them took a glace with each other.
I curled my toes and pursed my lips waiting for them to respond.
"Anak…" My Dad called me.
I smiled and looked at him.
"What do you want, 'nak?" My dad asked. My mother nodded as If she's saying that they wanted to know so I must speak.
My eyes spark. This is it!
"A ride on a Ferris wheel." I scratched my head and smiled hopefully. I know it's impossible but it's not wrong to assume that they would say yes. I badly wanted to ride a Ferris wheel. It's my greatest dream that I want to have before…I die.
Their eyes became apologetic.
I get it, it's really impossible.
"We'll try, hun." Mom said, unassured.
I smiled despite of disappointment. "It's okay If it's really impossible." I nodded. "Maybe, a moving figure of a Ferris wheel will do."
My dad chuckled. "I'll get you one, tomorrow."
I pouted. "I know what that means!" I affirmed. They shrugged with a teasing smile. "That means, the Ferris wheel ride won't happen."
My dad went to me and kissed my forehead. "You should be better. The three of us will ride one of those. If your brother is here, the four of us will ride it but you should be better."
I gave Dad a suspicious look. "A Promise?"
"It's a promise, hun." Dad wiggled his pinky finger. I giggled and do a pinky promise with him.
"Goodnight, sweety." My Mom said, they're already on the door standing. They're ready to leave for their rounds.
I smiled. "Goodnight. Please rest."
They nodded. "We will. See you tomorrow."
They closed the door. With that, I'm back to being alone again.
I lay comfortably and stared at the ceiling.
How I wonder what's the feeling riding a Ferris Wheel.
I closed my eyes and imagined that I'm riding into one.
A wind touched my skin. A never ending happiness can be seen by my smiles. How I wish, I can fly therefore I'll be free.
I opened my eyes with a smile.
How I wish... I can ride into one. I wanted to feel the excitement everytime the wheel is going up high.
I wanted to experience riding a Ferris Wheel while there's a fireworks above. We'll, I'm fond of reading books of romance that's why I wanted to let those happen to me too.
But, what if, I had someone with me while riding a Ferris Wheel?
Sure, it will be more romantic than I'm imagining.
Imagine, you're with your greatest love, both of you are riding a Ferris Wheel and the he suddenly held your hand, and then, you looked at him and ask him why did he hold your hand, instead of replying, he held your cheeks and then he closed his eyes and bring his face closer. And after that, your lips collided with each other.
But then, the wheel's screw driver loosen that made the Ferris Wheel fell of from where it placed and roll over the country, then, you and your lover die.
What a great tragic love story.
I opened my eyes and twitched my lips out of annoyance.
That's why sometimes I hate imagining things. Those happy moments became a tragic one.
Well, whatever, Ferris Wheel getaway with your lover won't happen to me. I don't know any guys. I don't know how to flirt. I don't know how to know someone better. I don't know what's love and I'm not ready for relationship. So f*ck love!
I sound so bitter, what the fuck.
Well, goodnight. How I hope, I'll be better.