"I am at a loss of words, I will start of by saying the 700 students that died here were very dear to our school and they were the light of this school, their legacies and their hard work will not go unnoticed, I would like to give my sincere condolences to every parent who could make it here today to honor their kids with us, all the kids were very good, smart and bright students'' this were the words of our headmaster Mr. Brownsville, but he was a liar.
None of us were bright, good nor smart, we were all pretenders trying to make it to a Friday and party, we were all reckless and hard to manager, but I guess once one dies lies are the only things one can tell to make them seem like good people right? Kami was at the gathering too, I saw her, she was hurt, she was in pain and I wish I could walk up to her and hug her and tell her I am okay but then again, I'm not real. Kami knew who I was, she knew the person I was when mom was not around, she knew I wanted my truth told, even if I am hated after it, so when the headmaster was talking I knew she hated him for all the lies he said and made it my reality. Cambridge seniors where far from being good or anything nice, we all hated school and each other, we all just tried to make it to college and grow up, but died trying.
Emma Stanches caused us all our dreams and lives, but she paid for it with death too so I don't hate her for it, the police will investigate and find nothing because the killer is dead and the witness is dead too, and as for us, we all died without any vengeance in store. Maybe we all wasted our lives really, maybe Emma did the right thing by killing us all, maybe now we will all rest peacefully knowing that life was never our thing to win too. Emma was the girl that set at the back of the class, the science genius, the quite one, the scary one and the black sheep of the whole class, maybe wherever she is now , she is more than what she was here, I really pray she is.
My mom, I did not see any sign of her at the gathering, but did I blame her for not coming? No, she was a mother that had just lost her daughter, she deserved some time alone to herself, to except reality and face it. 'Iris get off the phone and sleep child, don't make me come in There and beat you' this is what she would say to me every time she walked pass my room going to hers and even when I faked sleeping, she knew I was awake, she was a true mother, she raised me well, I went stray on my own. I wish I Left something for her, a note, a song, a call, a messenger anything to make her not miss me more. I wish I told her of how much she meant and how I would miss her even if I just left the house for a minute. This are the times I needed my dad to be by my mom, when I am gone, I needed to see him hold her tight and tell her she would be okay, but dad was never around, last time I saw him I was 8 and I bet even now that I am dead, he won't show up to at least pay his respects to the dead girl he never knew.
'Don't touch that Iris, it's not yet done'
'Iris put it done don't test my patience'
My sister, Kami, she was everything I wanted to be, she was light, she was life , she was fun and full of love and happiness and I would always try to piss her off at some point but I looked up to her more than anyone else. I don't know how many days Kami needed to wake up to knowing I am not going to be in my room, enough for her to finally go mad, but I knew me not being around would hit her more than anyone else. But mom always said kami was brave, but bravery can crack to, and the next day mom was going to find out what it really means to lose the bravery you hold so dear. Kami was going to crack, break and be hurt all over again, she watched me die, she knows my last words, she knew I was scared to die, so she is bound to be hurt right?.
(FLASHBACKS TO THE LIFE WE HAD)
'Josh pass the ball to me' yelled Aiden, 'Fine then catch it' replied Josh, that was the first time I met Josh and Aiden, it was a casual morning at Cambridge high and they were doing Boy stuff, when Josh hit me in the face with the ball, 'Shit, are you okay?' said Josh, 'Dude leave her there, lets bail she will tell on us' added Aiden, 'Ouch, well thanks for caring I guess, I'm good' I said, 'Come I will take you to the nurse' said Josh, 'No, I'm okay I will leave' I said while standing up and walking away, 'Josh, that's my name and this is Aiden' said josh, 'Iris, nice to meet you but I need to go now' I replied while walking away. Josh Mathews and Aiden Cabell, those were my two rocks, my brothers and the only two boys at Cambridge High who did not like me, Josh was an amazing soul, death was not supposed to be his fate that night , he was meant to live, as for Aiden, he was not the kindest but he was a good person. Josh wanted the whole world to himself, he had dreams of going to Harvard and being the best and as for Aiden he was a reckless Skater who gave no shit about the world. They were good kids and so were we all, they didn't deserve to die really, but Emma made sure none of us lived
What does heaven look like? That must be your question, right? Well my dear friend, I have not made it to heaven yet, my body is six feet's under, but my soul can't let go of Phoenix just yet, well not until our stories are told, not until people know what we did behind closed doors or who we were or what we wanted from this life. Maybe we will learn Emma's truth too. It was the very night we partied and ate poisoned food, 'Hey get me some punch too Lisa' yelled Anastasia, 'Wait I got you girl, oh hey Iris do you want anything?' said Lisa, 'Nah I'm good, but tell the DJ to play some good music, not this western crap please' I replied, ' I think u are too high for your age young lady' said Annabel, ' ohm come on, don't be a party pooper, dance with me Annabel' I said, ' We should get going Iris really, its hitting dawn and I'm sleepy' commanded Annabel, 'No, Kami will drive me, u can piss Off I'm not going' I said, 'I will wait here Iris, don't be stupid'. Annabel, was basically my mom in teen shoes, she made sure I was good even on my most screwed up days, does she deserve to go to heaven after killing 700 kids? Yes she does, it was all a mistake and we all deserved to die anyways. No one knew why Annabel and Emma even came up with such a prank that night, not even me, but I don't blame them, I don't blame anyone.
( Tuesday : Literature class )
'If death takes you by the hand, then don't fight it, this is not the only world we have to live, there is more that awaits us after this world' said Mrs. Lee, I always admired the way she put the most complex things from literature books into simple facts that revolved around our lifespan, now that I'm actually gone, her words hit deeper, and have a deeper meaning to my ears. Why was I fighting for life that day even when Annabel told me I was going to die anyways? Why was I scared when I knew the truth? Why was I craving this life so much before? , I don't know, but that day I lost to death, it held me tighter than I expected, and maybe that's what Madame Lee meant all along. Maybe if we lived that day, we could have finished the book *Knocking at heaven's door: the path to a better way of death* maybe then we would have looked at this world in a different version, maybe we would have all accepted death willingly that day.
*HERE LIES THE LIVES OF OUR PRECIOUS ANGELS, OUR BELOVED CHILDREN*
Annabel Rose
Iris Smith
Emma Stanches
Josh Mathews
Aiden Cabell
Anastasia Marshal
Lisa Dawn
Peter Adin
Michele Cabs
Jack Dobby
Tommy Andrews
Valerie King
Willy Rogers
Evans Coleman
Dayna Green
Veronica Wilson
Johnson River
Vinyl Moore
Collin Washington
Sebastian Moore
Tenley Wrung
Dempsey Dawkins …
This was written at the main entrance of Cambridge high, all the names of the learners that lost their lives that day. We were honored in gold letters, all our names shinning on a plaque, I guess even after death we did earn some golden shit in this school. I never got golden medals, or awards in school but I hope my mom is proud to see my name up on this gold plaque in gold letters. I don't know about you, but I am proud of myself, at least death got me something good, something to look back at.
It took letting go of life to actually realize that I was not holding onto it anyways, maybe I was fighting for Kami or my mother, but not for me. What more can a dead girl tell? What truth will be heard by the reader, which advice will they take with them? How will they view me and my friends? Well that was up to them not me anymore.
(Kami takes over the narration)
Grief, hatred, pain, sadness those were the emotions that surrounded phoenix and me, I watched her die, I could not save her and that sucks, Iris, what do I tell about her, everyone knew her but only few liked her, she was so much more than just a teenager with an attitude and boy problems, she was someone's daughter, someone's whole world and whoever killed her broke all our hearts. She was my mom's light, my mom's little baby and now my mom is broken, she is shattered and I can't do much but watch and wish to bring Iris back. 'Mom what are you doing?' I ask, 'Iris is gone, we can't be sad forever, I'm taking her clothes for donation' she says, 'what? No' I reply, I will keep them' I say, 'Keep them where Kami, you can't hold on to her clothes forever' she replies, 'Well I will try to wear them all then' I say, 'Fine then, but pack them neatly' she says while leaving the room. Iris was never the perfect daughter but she was a germ of a person to her friends and me, she always made sure I was laughing and happy, she basically took over the role of an older sister.
I always saw some light in her, the will to be happy and to live, she never wanted to die, she wanted big things, she wanted to go to France and be the best journalist ever, she wanted to build a family once, and she wanted to travel this world back and forth. I don't know if Iris ever got sad thought, I have never seen her sad or angry, she always had a smile, as bright as the sun, all she ever wanted was to LIVE. She was just a teenager with daddy issues and better grades. But Annabel and Iris, they were epic, they had this amazing friendship that sometimes I questioned, my hot headed sister liked someone for once, and they were like the moon and the sun, giving each other chances to breathe and live, and it brought me peace to watch them die beside each other the other time. They were all good kids.
(BACK TO IRIS)
Ouch, another lie, and this time Kami told it. We were not good kids, we were bad to the core, I did not have daddy issues, he was never home, I was never always happy, I had days were I cried myself to sleep or try drown myself in the bathtub but I was far from being happy and she knows that. Annabel was many things to me, and I am glad I died by her side. Whatever you do in this world, remember to live, be happy kid.