[Phyu]
She ate my cupcake.
I glared at Koroshi.
It was one of the few times that Alex didn't take it from me.
Now I am sad.
Huh ?
I can feel her irritation and confusion without even touching her.
Maybe she's having a bad dream ?
I touched her forehead gently.
Oh my God…
If what I'm feeling is only a fragment of her pain…
How can she live like this ?
"Peacefulness." I chanted, green light filling the room.Her scowl was replaced by a smile, and she sighed blissfully in her sleep.
It's so easy to heal others…
I stared at my family photo in my hand, a tear escaping my eyes.
But I can never heal myself.
13 years ago // 2006
[Koroshi]
"Tell us who your father is."
"All I know that he is a rich man who left home for work-"
"Enough lies, Kurokage. Tell us who he actually is."
"How would I know ?" I struggled against the chains wrapped around my body.
"My boss told me you are pretty smart for your age. Don't play dumb with me.
Just do this the easier way, Kurokage. Boss told me to keep you alive for information, but I can tell him that you decided not to cooperate.
Last chance.
Who is your dad ?
What is he ?"
"I don't know…" I looked down fearfully.
"…Goodbye, Kana Koroshi Kurokage. i'm sorry your life has to end like this."
Present…
"AHHHHH !" I screamed, falling from the bed.
No… No… No…
Now nightmares…?
Why is it getting worse ?
First, Voice… and now… flashbacks ?
I sat on the floor and leaned my head against the wall.
I grew up trying to make myself stronger.
Trying to make my fears disappear.
I've spent my whole life building walls around myself to show no weakness.
To show others I am strong, fearless, and invulnerable.
To show that I'm someone they don't want to mess with.
But every time I experience those horrible flashbacks and hearing her voice…
I find that my walls are crumbling.
Brick by brick, all the courage and strengths I've spent building crumble, leaving me with the awful, horrible feeling of fear.
As I grew older, the flashbacks became more vivid, more real.
And the harder it became to fight for my sanity and control.
Because of her…
I thought it was finally over.
The whole time I was in prison, I didn't hear her voice, nor did I experience any of my flashbacks.
What is wrong with me ?
What is going to happen to me ?
"Wakey wakey- Oh." the blond guy bursted into my room.
I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Hello to you, too. What do you want ?"
"Just wanted to see how you were doing. There's a meeting in an hour and you might want to attend, since it's your first day. Plus…" he shifted uncomfortably.
"You have been unconscious for three days."
"And whose fault is that ?" I faced him, fire burning in my eyes.
"I'm not going to attend a stupid meeting. I don't even know where I am ! I don't belong here ! Let me live my damn life !"
He seemed unfazed by my anger, "Believe it or not, you do. belong here. Let me take you on a walk. The fresh air might clear your mind. And… I'll explain to you…"
He raised his eyebrows, "I'll tell you the truth about our world. What I am. What this place is… And who you are. The truth."
I glared at him.
Should I trust him ?
"Y'know… You're gonna have to trust me. I know we didn't exactly start on good terms… And I can tell you don't trust others easily, but you can try to trust me."
"Fine. I- I'll walk with you. Later. but first… Answer some of my questions."
"Fine. What ?" "Are there any extra clothes ? I stink."
He bursted out into laughter, showing his cute dimples.
"Yeah, there should be some extra clothes in your room."
"I have a room ?" I blinked.
Why do I have a room ?
"Yeah. Of course. I think your's is the farthest one on the fourth floor."
"Was I kidnapped ?" I crossed my arms.
"Well… If you think about it… Kind of. Yes. But, we're only here to protect and help you. Because…"
He coughed. "You're one of us."
"What do you mean by 'one of us' ?"
"I'll tell you on the walk. Any other questions ?"
"What's your name ?"
"Jackson. Jackson Scott."
He left the room without another word.
Still don't trust him.
But… he might have answers.
I got up to the floor and tore the bandages from my body.
Bloody bandages.
I dragged my sore body upstairs to my room and opened the door.
Well, this is definitely better than prison.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror*.*
Holy shit.
I look like a mess.
I don't enjoy looking at the mirror. Every time I stare at myself… gazing at those auburn eyes… It reminded me of my mother's blood stained on my tiny hands.
Why does it feel like it's still there…
How can I still feel the stickiness and warmth of blood…
And see the scarlet colour on my hands…
No matter how hard I scrub ?
No.
Don't dwell on the past.
You need to move on.
I looked at the mirror again, staring into my auburn eyes.
The ceiling suddenly shook, and a bright white light flashed in front of my eyes, blinding my sight.
When I looked back at my reflection, my eyes were no longer auburn but silver. My hair, once a deep shade of brown, was now charcoal. A pair of demon wings sprouted from my back.
"No ! Stop ! You can't-"
[Voice]
"Can't what ?"
[Koroshi]
"Go. Away. you were out of my head for two years, why come back now ?"
[Voice]
"You're so close to the truth, Kana. Don't you wanna know ? Don't you want to know what your father has been hiding from you the whole time ? Don't you want to know who you really are ? What you're really capable of ? Don't you wanna know who I am ? What I am ?"
[Koroshi]
"…"
[Voice]
"The truth ! You want to know the truth ! And I can help you… If only you'd let me take control…"
[Koroshi]
"I already know who you are. You're a voice in my head ! A voice, created from my mental illness !"
[Voice]
"A voice ? HAHAHAHA. You think I'm some sort of… phantom from your PTSD. I'm offended. All those doctors are fucking idiots. You really believe that shit ? AHAHAHAHAHAHA !"
[Koroshi]
"SHUT UP!"
I clenched my fists and the mirror shattered, making Voice disappear.
Shut up.
You've been in my head since mom's death.
All you've done was drivin' my insane, tryin' to take control.
Tryin' to make me fear you.
Well guess what ?
I'm not lettin' you.
Not since the incident when I was 17.
Never again.
You're nothin'.
You're a disease.
You don't exist.
[Voice]
You know that's a lie, Kana. I am real.
[Koroshi]
No. No, you're not.