I don't know what else to do. Everything feels so wrong. This is not how I wanted my life to be. I wanted to make something of myself. To be able to support myself, not this.. this.. whatever this is.
I didn't realize working a dead end waitressing job would do nothing but add stress. Bad managers, tolerable co-workers. Some are great but honestly all two faced. Home isn't much better. Parents on my back to make money and take care of my other responsibilities. Trust me, I don't have a problem stepping up and taking care of my responsibilities. I just can't get ahead of anything. Any money goes right back out. It's an endless merry go round I can't get off of and I'm feeling dizzy enough I could pass out.
Taking a second job helping an older disabled woman seemed great sense she was already a friend. But she cancels on me so often it's not worth the $20 an hour in all honesty. I'm the only one that works in my house. My parents can't being disabled themselves from heart problems or multiple and I mean multiple back surgeries. It's too much now. I feel like I want to pull my hair out most of the time. I just lay in bed and cry when I get off work. Sleep doesn't come for very long either. Go to sleep at midnight or a little after, wake up usually around 3-4. I'm not sure why. It doesn't make matters any better I don't eat much. I just have no appetite anymore. Constantly doing something gives me no time to. And if I do it's something gross from work.