•Emma's POV
[WARNING THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS CONTENT ABOUT SEXUAL ABUSE/ASSAULT (RAPE) AND TRAUMA. IF YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY READING OR HEARING ABOUT THESE THINGS PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER]
After a few rounds of shots, like five dances, and and hour or so in a karaoke room Robin said to meet him at a VIP room between the first and second floor. On my way up there I ran into Noah and he asked what I was doing there, I told him I was on a date and that Nia and I had rooms upstairs, he asked what room and after I gave him the room number before I headed back to Robin.
On a small balcony over the DJ stand I looked out at the crowd of people dancing and drinking. "Wow this is so cool!" I yelled over at Robin who was sitting on a couch behind me in the VIP lounge. The couch was violet and made of a soft velvety material the room had black lights and art on the walls that would glow under the black lights. I pointed out to the far corner of the room "I can see the whole first floor from here! I can even see a girl vomiting in a trash can in the corner!"
Robin had an amused look on his face as he watched me from the sofa.
We had been drinking and while Robin was only a little impared I was so drunk.
I stumbled back into the room and climbed on his lap. I looked up at him as I leaned my head against his sturdy shoulder. He looked down at me with a smile. "I want to kiss y~hiccup~you" I smiled. "Then do it" he looked seriously for a moment "I won't take advantage of a drunk girl you have my word."
My heart was pounding in my chest as I faced him with a leg on either side of his lap. "Will you be mine?" My face was warm and I could feel his breath on my lips our faces were so close. I looked at his eyes and although they seemed to scream for me, his face looked almost nauseous. My heart started hurting as I got off of him and sat on the coffee table in front of him "I'm sorry" I hugged myself.
He looked confused and then understood.
"I'm not your type am I?" I asked holding back tears. Though we just met rejection still.hurt and I had just had the most fun I'd ever had on a date.
"Do you think I'm gay?" he asked sounding a bit angry "A beautiful woman like you? Of course your my type." He was offended "I'm sorry you just looked so..." what's the word for it "I guess, you looked disgusted" tears rolled down my cheeks and I avoided his gaze while wiping my eyes. I don't know why I feel so vulnerable all of a sudden. His eyes widened and he grabbed my face wiping my tears and making me look at him "Your drunk Emma" he sighed "I'd be ashamed of myself, if when you sober up, you won't want me anymore and you regret asking for me."
"Of course I'll still want you!" I cried harder "I can't help it I'm sorry" I wiped my face vigorously "I don't mean to raise my voice or cry."
"Its the booze Em" he looked disappointed "Where are you staying?"
"Upstairs in room 13" I sighed.
"The conjoined room?" He looked confused "Who are you sharing a room with?"
"Nia" I sniffled "She wants me to stop by her room when I go to bed but she's probably not in there yet it's still early."
"Emma. How old are you?" His face darkened and he looked scary serious "You are an adult aren't you? Your not underage?"
I felt my eyes widened as a reflex as I laughed nervously. Could I tell him my real age? It seemed risky. I just remained quiet.
"How old?" he squinted at me.
"I'm 18." I was scared; my whole body started trembling. "My ID is fake" I sobbed "I'm so sorry, I hope you don't feel like I led you on" I couldn't hold back "I was just really enjoying having you around." I was so emotional but I'm not sure if it was all because of him. My feelings all got kind of jumbled into a knot. My feelings about my mom and sky, about how I disappointed Nia, about the night that I...
All I could do was stare at the ground. I heard him sighed and he began to tap his foot quickly. I was scared. Should I run? What should I do?
"I-I am so sorry!" tears were streaming down my face as I stood and ran to the door. My knees suddenly felt weak and stumbled and fell. I'm pitiful. I tried to stand but, I just ended up sitting on my knees quietly crying in fear. I wouldn't make it to my room and I could feel his anger fill the air in the room. There was nothing I could do or say. Everything rushed to my mind. There was no escaping it. I don't deserve someone like Robin, he is so sweet and all I did was lie. I really am worthless. The memories of my first time with a man flooded my mind. I tried to push them out but, I'm weak. I just leaned forward and put my forehead against my folded arms that were on the floor. "Please stop" I whispered through gasps and tears "Please I'm so sorry. Just let me go."
I don't remember what happened next but when I woke up I was on the couch and had an ice pack on my forehead. I was a little more sober now at least. Instead of the black lights the regular lights in the room were on. The glass doors to the balcony were closed and the curtains that were in front of them were drawn shut. The room had a whole different feel to it without the black lights. The paintings on the walls were more mellow and the room seemed more elegant.
In a chair that matched the sofa sat a nervous Robin. I gasped remembering what had happened "I'm sorry."
I sat up moved my back against the arm of the couch and pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face.
"Emma." he sounded worried and cold at the same time "Who hurt you?"
I was shocked how did he know that "Wha-"
"You blacked out" he clenched his jaw and took a deep breath "You started crying for me to stop and at first I didn't understand until I realized that you weren't really conscious. Then you started saying that it hurt and that it wasn't how you wanted things to happen. Then you suddenly yelped and started hyperventilating."
he leaned forward tapped his foot again.
"I called a doctor up and they said that it seemed like ptsd and getting startled most likely triggered it."
I couldn't look up "P-please don't tell anyone."
"Emma. I won't tell anyone, but you have to answer a few questions for me okay?" he said trying to hide the anger and sadness in his voice.
I hiccuped "Okay".
"Why didn't you tell me your age sooner?"
"B-because I like you a lot and I didn't want you to reject me because of my age." I kept my head on my knees but made sure I spoke clearly through my tears.
"Does Nia know what happened to you? Does anyone know?"
"N-nobody b-b-but you knows" I sputtered.
"Why?" he sounded angry again "Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"I was at a party the night it happened and when I woke up in the morning I was ashamed... I worked up the courage and I was going to tell my sister, Sky. She always knew what to do but when I got home... Nia was sitting on the stoop of my apartment crying. My sister and mom died in a fire at work that night." I sobbed again "What right did I have to report what happened to me when my whole family had died?!" I shouted at him now looking him in the eyes "I LOST EVERYTHING THAT DAY! MY FAMILY, MY HOME, AND MYSELF! I FELT DIRTY AND WORTHLESS!" My whole body was shaking. Robin stood and brought me a glass of water and a handkerchief. I wiped my tears and he held the cup of water with the straw close to my lips. I calmed down as I sipped. After a long moment of silence I finally started to relax again.
"One more question. Then I will take you up to bed" he gave me a sad look "Earlier you asked if I would be yours? Do you still want me now that you're more sober? I'll ask again in the morning as well but, I'm not sure its the best idea. Your so young you have your whole life ahead of you and let's just say that I have already lived a lot of life." he laughed a bit "I'm also worried that I won't be able to..." His eyes looked me up and down with a firey look of passion "Your so beautiful, but you've already been hurt. I'm not sure that I'd be able to hold back when I'm with you and..." he swallowed hard. God help me, this man makes my heart pound. I already wanted to kiss him but then he said words that made myblust melt away and a genuine smile appear on my tear stained face "Emma, I couldn't bare it if I hurt you."
I thought for a moment. He didn't send me away when I was breaking down, instead he called a doctor, I had the most fun I've had in a really long time with him before things got serious, when things got serious he didn't lose interest in me, he comforted me and asked questions about me. "Of course I still want you to be mine" I put my feet down and leaned against his chest "As long as you want me." I sighed and whispered into his chest "I'm broken."
****
After a short stop to the bathroom for me to clean up, we headed to Nia's room like she asked. When I got there Noah and some guy who knew Robin were in her room. After introductions Noah left and room service came.
I helped myself to one of the burgers and fries and Nia had a straight scotch. It was weird I had never seen her drink something like that before. I took one bite of the burger and moaned "Mmmm... This burger is awesome Nia you have to try a bite." I held the burger towards her and The two guys there snickered. "What?" I asked as I looked between the three people.