Light my life, guard my soul, open my eyes and let me see you.
I was busily folding some pages on my favorite part of some books I read earlier. I could feel myself getting tired because of reading and reading, I haven't got some sleep, due to I was fascinated by the story. Well, maybe later I would get some sleep.
"Clea."
"Yes, mom?" I stood up and opened the door of my room. Mom was bringing a tray of food, since she knew I never eat with them downstairs.
It always been so weird eating with them as one because...my dad and I had a dark misunderstanding to each other. He wanted to me to study law abroad, which I refused. Law is hard for someone like me, I'm an introvert person, I don't really much hangout with some other students when I was elementary and until now! And if I study law? They would pity my grades.
"Thank you, mom." I get the tray and putted it on my desk.
"Clea, you should get some sleep." My mom noticed that I have big dark circles under my eyes already. She's so worried about that everyday when she came inside my room to deliver my food here.
"Mom, I will, later," I answered and sat down on my desk chair. My mom just instantly shook her head as she went towards the books that were scattered from the floor. She started fixing those by placing it back to my bookshelves.
After that, she stood up and unbelievably looked at me. I know she's always mad at me by not arranging the books I read back on my bookshelves. She always reminded me that...but then, I couldn't, because it would just scattered back again.
"Did you find some online job already?" She asked in a soft voice.
I shook my head. "I still haven't..."
My mom scratched on her nape and sighed. I'm already 25 years old, still not working. I don't know how to apply a job online or even face to face... I'm afraid that they were going to judge me... I'm afraid that I won't pass the job interview. I'm always afraid of taking a step ahead, because what if I fail? I hate that...
"You graduated journalism, and yet you still haven't found a job that would perfect for you. Clea, your father and I would not always be by your side. One day we will die and you will left here alone..."
"Mom! Stop saying that!" I aggressively shook my head. "I'm trying to find a job, but still, I couldn't found one."
"Because you are not trying!" She shouted. Her voice hoarse because of that.
I instantly became quiet as I looked onto the books I read earlier. I don't know how will I explain to them that I'm nervous about taking a job interview, and I'm afraid of taking risk of that...I only wanted to be alone, to lay in bed and just simply read. That's how myself planned to myself to be...they couldn't just understood, because they weren't in my position.
"If you couldn't find a job yet, then your dad and I will find a husband that could pay your bills, buy the books you wanted."
"You can't do that..." My eyes went teary as I said those.
"We. Can." She answered with force as she walked out of my room, aggressively closed the door.
I suddenly cried because of what she said. They can't just force me to do something that I couldn't do. I'm trying to lessen the shyness I have inside of me, still, and still, I'm still trying...
As I was crying, I was arranging all of my books in their proper arrangement. I already done eating my breakfast which mom delivered in my room earlier. Right now, I was scrolling through my social media, about job interviews and any news happening right now.
Earlier at 10 in the morning, I decided to go at a 7/11 store. I went inside of the store, roaming my eyes on different kinds of food that was available here. As I was walking while roaming around, someone suddenly bumped me, which made me groaned a little.
I was massaging my shoulders while getting all the foods that someone brought. That person also help me, and was the one who help me stood up. I looked up only to see that it was a guy.
"I'm sorry... did you gotten hurt?" He asked in a worried tone.
My lips parted a bit, his face was lighting up, I don't if it was just me, overacting by his handsome face. He was really worried as he took a step closer to me, gently looking at me from head to toe, checking if the bumped caused injury to me.
He was wearing a white coat, maybe he is a doctor or a scientist. He has an eyeglasses on, and his hair was kinda rumpled, but still, a perfection.
"A-I-I'm o-okay..." my voice stammered as I moved a distance backwards. Because if the more he gotten closer to me, the more I won't able to survive.
"Glad to hear that." He was massaging his chest where his heart was located in, relief through the words I just answered.
I simply smiled and was about to walked away when suddenly, he held my wrist to stopped me. Because of that, I looked back at him, raising my brow a bit.
"Are you sure you are okay?"
I gave him an assuring smile as I nodded. "Yes, I'm okay... don't worry, I really am."
"Sorry again, it's my fault, I didn't watched the way."
"It's okay, I'm sorry also..."
After I answered those, he let go now his held on my wrist. His lips formed into a sweetest smile before he already left. My heart suddenly became so energize, so full upon seeing such a handsome guy, and so lucky, because that guy seemed kindhearted.
After that incident, I was in my room, eating my favorite instant noodles I bought. I still remembered what happened earlier at a 7/11 store, and suddenly blushed whenever the scene where he smiled flashes in my mind, he really looked like an angel.
I opened my phone and texted my friend, Cloe.
Clea:
Girl, I think I have a crush. 😭
Cloe:
Who dat girl?
Clea:
I don't know his name, but I know his face.
Cloe:
You better not have feelings for him...you don't know his name, you have no chance to meet him again if that's the case. 🤐
I sighed. She's right, I don't know his name, and by that, I would not have a chance to meet him again. But we didn't met, we just bumped by accident.
And have feelings for him by accident.
Clea:
Anyways, thank you for listening to me. Watya doin' today?
Cloe:
Flirting...I guess...
Clea:
Yuck 🤢
Cloe:
Yuck, at least I'm going to have a boyfriend already. How about you? Still single?
I shook my head and laughed. Yes, what would be the answer? I'm still single, no boyfriend, no work, just alone...in this old vintage room.
We had lots of conversation, about her love life, about my life today, and you know, friend's conversation, we bullied a lot on each other.
I laid on my bed and smiled at the ceiling. It was already late at night, I still haven't sleeping...and by that, I think I have an insomnia. Or maybe I am just a moon child even though it's raining outside.
"Rain, rain, go away, come again another day. Adult Clea wants to sleep, rain, rain, go away..." I sang along with the rain while waving my hands up high.
Without I noticed, I already fell asleep by singing nursery songs last night. I woke up at around 7am, and had a breakfast together with my parents. It's my first time having breakfast together with my parents. My cousin Miranda was also here, she's a 3rd year High school student already. My dad love her more than me because he always gave her much allowance than me before. Miranda said to my dad that she wanted to study law, and do of course my dad was so proud, like he even wanted to held a big party for her. Tsk.
"Clea, me and your dad decided to arrange you a marriage with one of a well-known psychiatrist in London. What do you think?" Mom started blabbering about that, and that made me choke on my own saliva.
"Mom! You I can't!" I shouted horrified.
"Don't tell me, you are just going to stay here in the house, while letting our mom and dad work just for you to buy the things you wanted without even working hard to get it." Miranda was smirking when she said that.
"You are not my sister."
"Well, I don't like you as my sister." She fought back.
I was about to fight back when dad instantly stopped me by gotten his eyes bigger, already glaring at me. I rested my back against the back of my chair as I rolled my eyes.
"Miranda is your sister, Clea, and she's right, you should work hard to get the things you wanted, not just trusting your life with me and your mom. You need to stand on yourself, Clea, or else have a husband that could support your life."
"I'm trying to apply a job for me! Just wait just even a bit, could you all?" My voice rose up.
"We are waiting for almost 3 years, Clea, and still you haven't found one. You are a pain in the ass daughter I ever have," mom disappointedly said.
I stood up and stormed my way inside my room. I laid down on my bed, snuggled myself against my pillow as I urge myself to cry there.
I don't want to get married. I don't want to work. Why am I being like this? Why can't I be like somebody?
"Clea, open the door!" Dad shouted in a horrifying voice.
"I'm sorry Mr. Dela Fuente for coming here, witnessing all our fights and all," I heard my mom said to someone.
"It's okay, maybe I should visit again later. Your daughter seemed not liking the marriage..."
I suddenly stood up when I heard those manly voice. I carefully put on my eyeglasses and wiped those dried tears I had seconds ago. My footsteps were getting nearer and nearer until I was now opening the door.
My parents were shock upon seeing me opened the door. The guy's head tilted up to looked at me. His face gotten surprised.
Who would have thought? This guy in front of me, the guy that I saw at a 7/11 store, is going to be my husband.