As of today, ⬜⬜–⬜⬜–⬜⬜⬜, we are now officially releasing our brand new innovative product - the ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜! With the acquisition of our recent cutting edge technology we have brought together the best poison, assassin and alchemist masters available in all of ⬜⬜⬜⬜. With their completely voluntary help, this brand new product is sure to strike fear onto the deepest parts of your enemy's souls! No longer do you have to spend your precious time removing nails, peeling skin and removing teeth - instead sit back and relax as your prisoners scream and wail in agony as they suffer an imaginable pain beyond that of which puny mortals can comprehend! Featuring a rusty, jagged ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ forged by Hephaestus himself (once again completely voluntary) it ensure your victims suffer the pain that they most definitely don't deserve. With the assistance of our ever watching, ever present forces we can ensure your order is delivered right to your doorstep within 2 hours of placing it! Fantastic. If you order within 71 hours of this announcement we will even go out of our way to deliver a complementary ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜, most amazing indeed!
We here at ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜inc. are enthusiastic to hear your reviews on this brand new product and would like to remind you that we are not responsible for any mental, physical or metaphysical damage that involved parties may receive! If you do have any complaints feel no need to report them and for we will most definitely not do our best to change and adapt our product for you, an insignificant, worthless ant that will soon be removed.