Zemar laid flat on on his back on the soft bed, his wings feeling cramped against his body. He stared up at the ceiling unable to fall asleep, his eyes were glazed over and had a blank expression, his mind was not his friend this morning. As the light of dawn peaked through the rich blue satin curtains it painted the room with a gorgeous pumpkin orange luminescence. It was going to be a warm day. Listening to the soft chirps of blue birds gave way to light footsteps outside the bedroom door and heading downstairs, followed by heavier steps and soft chatter. It was like they've forgotten he was in the house. Things must go on he thought. He sat up with a heavy sigh, his back ached and he bled through the bandages. He needed sustenance, but how much could he ask for? Would they yell and beat him over an apple? Will they flat out refuse? he thought. There was only one way to find out and he was prepared for the consequences. About to stand, there came a gentle knock, and a fresh-faced teen poked his head around the chestnut wooden door.
"Morning sunshine. Dad made pancakes; would you like some?" Andy smiled brightly at him, like he did nothing wrong.
He sat ridged as the mental chains tightened around his throat and limbs, securing him to the bed. He couldn't even speak as he helplessly stared at Andy, like he was trapped inside a cage. He was barely able to breathe as Andy got closer and took his large hand,
"You must still be in shock from yesterday. Here, let me lead," Andy spoke softly, and pulled his arm upwards. He didn't budge.
"I've seen that look before, are you worried about something?" Andy asked with concern. Zemar shook his head slightly but, still didn't move.
"Okay. Well, you gotta eat something, come on buddy," Andy pulled at his arm again and he yielded, moving slowly and carefully through the small building as Andy led the way. Downstairs there were white China plates on the dinning table, ready for them to pile on the circular cakes, the room smelled like warm butter and maple syrup which cause his stomach to growl. Andy's parents were already eating, but stopped once they saw him enter,
"Good morning, glad to see you're awake," Rick greeted with a giant grin. Showing off bright pink gums and white teeth, he took care of his smile. The area was bright and warm as the sunlight came in through the twin glass deck doors, kissing his fur as a shiver ran up his spine. It filled the whole kitchen, and part of the living room, with its warm rays.
"Oh, you've bled through your bandages already. We'll take care of it after breakfast," Liz sounded concerned at the fact but, didn't bring attention to it as to not cause an uprise. Her blue eyes avoided his gaze while the father stared directly at him with big, brown eyes full of curiosity,
"Zemar was it? How'd you end up in Sacramento?" Rick inquired with a fork full of pancakes.
He didn't reply right away as he sat on the floor next to the table,
"I... I ran away," he managed a stutter as Andy handed him a plate full of golden-brown pancakes smothered in a rich, buttery syrup.
"Ran away? What are you running from son?"
"Hush! Let him eat and get his strength up before you ask 101 questions, Rick," Liz stopped the conversation before it got too far and encouraged Zemar to eat. He stared at the food, unsure if he should take it so lightly. He half glanced up like he needed to ask for permission,
"Go on. Eat. Its only pancakes," Liz chuckled at his questioning gaze. Its not like he hadn't eaten pancakes before, but he felt this chill down his spine like if he ate the food, something bad would happen. It was just like when he first joined the Grimm reapers. He had to earn his food, and if he ate before he got permission he would've been locked up in the basement and beaten. He was treated like an animal that needed to be trained. That first bite was a struggle, he kept looking up and waited for them to scream and yell, waiting for them to pull out heavy chains and drag him to the dark depths. There was nothing except the cheery sounds of a happy family enjoying mealtime together.
This wasn't normal for him. He kept thinking that he'd somehow screw up and they'd show their real faces, that this illusion would break. He was staring at the empty platter in hand when droplets of red land on the sticky surface of the white object. He gave his forehead a quick wipe and realized he was bleeding from the bullet hole again.
"Is everything okay?" Andy asked when he had noticed the red speckles,
"I'm fine I just uh... I have a bullet in my forehead,"
"You have a what in your head!" he flinched from the mother's loud, worried shriek. He quickly glanced away in shame and didn't speak as those chains tighten again. His tongue twisted and the pit in his stomach got bigger when hearing the swift, scrapping sound of the chair moving. It made him tremble, as the mother nearly ran towards him. He took it as aggression and coward away from her touch,
"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to see," she cooed, he carefully shook his massive head.
"Show me," she demanded in a motherly tone, that was different. It threw him off as he did what he was told like the good little slave he was, he closed his eyes and turned to let the mother take a look.
He half expected her to slap him, but instead she gently grabbed his cheeks and examined the injury throughly. The fear he saw last night seemed to be nonexistent. But he knew better, he could feel her restrained shakes on his face and the strong stench. He had smelt that same stench many times over with each kill.
"Wait here, I'll get that out for you," he kept his eyes closed, listening to her soft footsteps leave the tiled kitchen to carpeted floor, and then back.
"Hold still," she ordered and slowly drove her long forceps inside his skull, the pain was minuscule as heard the clink of metal before relief. She had carefully dug of the small, metal object that caused him so much emotional pain. A huge weight that was taken out in mere minutes as Liz pulled out the bent, golden bullet,
"There, all better," she said as he opened his eyes to see her smiling.
"I'm sorry..." he apologized and stood up, setting the plate on the table before he left the room and gone back upstairs.
He sat on the floor in the furthest corner of the bedroom and cuddled his knees close to his chest, just staring at the clean carpet through his legs. He could smell the faint hint of dust that lingered in the dull room, it was obvious that nobody had used this area for quite some time. What is he doing here? He's acting like a child, like the small, weak child he once was a long time ago. He's acting like he doesn't know who he is anymore.
"What's going on with me? Why am I so scared?" he asked the empty space,
"I'm a fucking Demon. I was raised to kill and take no crap from anybody!" he hissed and squeezed his knees tightly in anger.
"Fuck... Fuck... Fuck..." he whispered to himself as his eye color switched between crimson red and normal icy blue, rocking on his heels not knowing what to do. Everything felt wrong but good at the same time.
The house was silent. No noise came from downstairs, either everyone left the house or he just couldn't focus any attention on his surroundings. He didn't care either way.
"Zemar? Can I come in?" he heard Andy outside the door, he stayed quiet hoping he would just go away,
"Mom told me to change your bandages. Please let me in bro," Andy begged. He sat still for a moment more before he said,
"Okay," in the quietest voice. He was barely heard but, Andy walked inside,
"Hey buddy, how are you doing?" Andy asked while kneeling in front of him.
"Just leave the bandages and go," he grumbled half heartedly,
"Dude? What's with the sudden change in attitude?" Andy scoffed,
"I'm dealing with things that you could never fucking understand. I feel guilty for even coming here for help, and at the same time, angry that I needed any fucking help," he growled. Andy stood to take a step back,
"Listen here, Prick! You get your fat ass on that bed so I can switch your bandages, and then you can talk all about your 'complicated' feelings!" Andy snapped while pointing to the bed.
He glared at the teenager,
"Are ya fucking joking? I could kill you with one finger and you're insulting me? Me!?" he stood with a hiss, puffing out his bloodied bandaged chest in outrage of the disrespect this kid gave him. Andy glared right back at him, and didn't budge even when he stood threatening close. A deep, throated growl could be heard from his large chest as it vibrates.
"You won't hurt me. Wanna know why?"
"Please. Enlighten me,"
"When you killed that man, I could see the regret. It was all over you like the fucking fur on your face, and you chose to kill him to save me. Why would you decide to murder me now, when you could've let that man do it?" Andy paused,
"Deep down, under your rough exterior and shitty childhood, there is a good Demon. One that might even enjoy helping people if given the chance. Someone who just wants to please everyone. You and I aren't so different," Zemar stared blankly from those hefty words before he heavily sighed and walked over to the bed. He sat down with harms up to let Andy change the bandages, the springs creaking underneath his weight,
"I fucking hate you," he groaned with an eye roll,
"I know you do," Andy snickered.
Once the bloody cloth was off, he was able to get a better look at the injuries, they weren't as bad as he thought. The only part that sucked was that he was practically bald on his chest, like someone did a shitty waxing job as patches of black fur blotched his flesh.
"God, I hate the police. Fucking corrupted bastards," he grunted as he traced each stitch.
"Wow, you look like you had a bad day at the hair salon," Andy joked,
"Are you able to grow your fur back? I assume yes but, we didn't really think about it when we shaved it off," Andy chuckled as he played with a patch of tuff.
"Stop it!..." Zemar quickly smacked Andy's hand away,
"Yes I can grow it back! It's just gonna take a few hours," he barked while Andy laughed. Zemar mocked Andy's laugh and started ripping the stitches out,
"Bro! What the hell are you doing? Those have to stay in until you're..." Andy stared at his injury in bewilderment. He was already completely healed.
"Woah! Do all Demons heal this quickly?" Andy asked, full of curiosity as he poked the scar, Zemar shrugged,
"Uh, Yeah. Did your school not teach ya anything about our species?" he leaned back with his hands resting on the back of his head, this was the first time he had ever felt proud of his ability. He always was fast at heal, even among other Demons which was strange to say the least, but then again, he had always been weird.
"Not really. Just the basics, like where you and Angels came from and how you tie in with religion. That sort of boring stuff," Andy explained with a snort, Zemar chuckled and cracked his knuckles in a stretch.
"How about I give you a quick school lesson,"
"Awe man... Learning. It's the weekend," Andy whined,
"Do ya want to fucking know or not?"
".... Yes," Andy nodded.
"Alrighty now listen up squirt. I'm only gonna explain this once. The reason Demons and Angels are large and can heal super fast is because we contain two souls,"
"Two souls? How is that... mmm," Andy was cut off mid-sentence when Zemar covered his mouth with a finger. The size of one of his furry digits was able to cover the teenager's mouth and part of his nose, Zemar could crush Andy's skull with one hand if he wanted to.
"Shut up, I'm not done. Yes, we have two souls and no, I don't know why we're born with two souls. Don't even ask me how it's possible either because I have no fucking idea. All I know from my history is that one soul contains our being and the other contains our immortality," he continued.
Andy cocked his head to the side,
"Then how come there are human sized Demons?" Andy couldn't help but ask another question. He rolled his eyes in annoyance,
"I wasn't done," he grumbled,
"Sorry, I'll be quiet now," Andy made the motion of zipping his lips shut and threw away the key. He sighed and gave his sore eyes an annoyed rub with one hand,
"You see human sized Demons and Angels because they gave up their immortality, their second soul. Without it we're the same as you mortals. It would also mean we heal and age much slower. It would be like we became human... in a sense... You may speak now,"
"One question though," Andy's eyes soften.
"What?" he sighed,
"When you say you're immortal, I get that it means you can live forever but, can you be killed?" Andy's voice cracked with hidden sorrow.
Zemar took a second to reply,
"... Yes," he avoided Andy's woeful gaze to pull out the rest of his stitches. They were going to stay as scars but, nobody would ever see them, just like all the other ones.
Andy fidgeted with his fingers as he sat next to him, the bed squealed under more pressure.
"What now?" he grumbled,
"Did you try to kill yourself on that cliff?" Andy bluntly asked and he froze. He knew that question was coming but, did he really have an answer, he thought. The faded memory flashed in his mind as he saw the woman in red look over the cliffs edge and heard his bones snap. Zemar turned away to stare at the floor, could he even commit suicide? Is he too strong to kill even himself? he thought.
"Zemar?" Andy rested a hand on his shoulder, which brought him back to reality,
"No... But I wish you didn't find me. I was better off dead," he replied slowly and shook Andy's hand away to stand up only to stare out the window in pain. Resting his forearm on the wall above the glass, he watched the happy neighborhood go about their day. Nothing in the world seemed to bother the glee they all had on their faces.
"Don't say that man. Nobody deserves to die,"
"I do! You saw what I can do and i've done unspeakable things! I don't even understand why Satan hasn't shown up to claim my soul," he growled through gritted teeth and punched the wall, creating a giant hole in the drywall.
"Oops..." he pulled his fist out and was hot with shame,
"Don't worry about it. Walls can be fixed," Andy snickered.
Andy smiled and held out a hand,
"Wanna come take a walk with us? It'll help clear your mind," Andy offered as he heard his parents shuffling downstairs.
"Why? We walk every day, why go outside just to walk?" he didn't understand the concept, but looking back, that was what he did, take walks to calm himself.
"It destresses us. Every weekend, we take a leisure walk on the trails out back. Its nice to watch the wildlife and breathe in the fresh air, to let everything around us slow down. It's also great exercise. Come on, give it a try with us," Andy reached out and gently pulled the fur on his forearm. Zemar glanced at the small hand and then back to the bright, hazel eyes of Andy and a flicker of light sparked in his dark chest. A small grin appeared in the corner of his mouth,
"Fine, it's not like I have anything else to do," he sighed and followed the teen downstairs where his parents were waiting. He felt nervous walking up to them, he left the table so suddenly, he thought that he might of offended them.
"Oh, are you joining us?" Rick turned to see him being led, Zemar sheepishly nodded and Rick smiled,
"Glad to hear!... Are you going to get cold? I think we might have a jacket that could fit you," Rick asked when he noticed Zemar's somewhat bare chest.
"No, I'll be alright,"
"Okay then. Well, let's get this show on the road, shall we?" Rick bellowed in glee and opened the front door. The bright, golden light pouring through the doorway as they walked into the warm sunshine.